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Sep 19, 2018
Started around 7 PM yesterday. After I thought I was finished I found some more booze that my aunt stored away. Then started drinking them. The more I drink the better I feel.....until I wake up tomorrow. I never had the traditional headaches or throwing up. I just feel very sleepy for a couple days....then very anxious and sweaty until I get my next “fix”.

I don’t view alcoholism in the traditional manner. The problem with us addictive personality types is that we don’t have functioning synapses that produce those “feel good chemicals” like endorphins. What do ya do? You make up for it in unhealthy ways. Some people eat too much, some people shoot up, others drink a shit load of booze.

I only went to AA once in my life bsck in 2015. Couldn’t relate to any of em. The vast majority said “god” cured them. Well I’m an atheist so that didn’t help. Out of respect for everyone, I did say the serenity prayer. Something like “expect the things I cannot change and change the things I cannot accept”...I botched that up. I only went there because I pooped a shit load of xannys and was looking for a fishing buddy.
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Mar 21, 2019
An acquaintance said that although they were suffering from alcoholism, they went to the group for coke addicts because they found it a better group to talk to. Maybe you could try a different group?