ghost_

ghost_

Member
Nov 10, 2021
62
Does anyone else get like an urge to get better and for maybe a month or two, you really do try as hard as you can to get better and work on the mental problems but then it just comes crashing down and you get depressed and twice as worse as it was before?

it's always around fall when I feel like I can get better and get help but then always around the spring time it gets exceptionally worse. It is like this every year that i can remember around march/April it gets extremely bad and by the time October rolls around I'm ready to try again. It makes me very tired. I just want one year for the burst of motivation to get better to stick. This year though that random urge to recover hasn't hit me yet. at all. In fact I feel like I'm on a downward spiral rn. and I'm wondering if the motivation will even come back. it honestly is starting feel like my time is up, if that makes sense. I'm scared too that next spring will come and it'll get twice as worse as it is now. And if it does I think I probably will do something.

so I guess what I'm asking here is how do you find the motivation to recover? How do you make yourself continue to fight for it to be better even when all you wanna do is let the dark thoughts drag you down?

Honestly any tips or anything would help me at this point.
Thank you for taking the time to read this
 
T

timf

Mage
Mar 26, 2020
559
I am not sure why, but March is a huge month for suicide increases. Being able to see it coming might help one to prepare for it through scheduling, activities, medication, support groups, etc.

It has been said "Nothing succeeds like success". If you set too high a goal, it can make things worse by not achieving it. If you take smaller steps and credit yourself for "little successes", you might build a momentum to carry you through increasingly larger steps.
 
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Deadweight

Deadweight

Member
Nov 10, 2021
30
I'm at a similar point I think. I've had so many plans that looked promising and then lead to failure that I just can't feel optimistic about there being a way out of this any more, which makes future attempts harder because everything else has failed in the past, so why should I expect different from the future. I know I can't see the future, but I feel I've got a enough evidence now to convince me it's looking bleak.

I keep up running 4 days a week. No matter how bad I'm feeling, or how badly a plan or treatment has fallen apart and the future just looks so sad and lonely, I just keep that one thing going to keep me from collapsing into complete stagnation, where I can stay for long periods of time.

Is there something like that you could do? Doesn't have to be exercise, just one thing you could keep up that benefits, where you can see progression over time and is sustainable during your lowest lows.
 
ghost_

ghost_

Member
Nov 10, 2021
62
I'm at a similar point I think. I've had so many plans that looked promising and then lead to failure that I just can't feel optimistic about there being a way out of this any more, which makes future attempts harder because everything else has failed in the past, so why should I expect different from the future. I know I can't see the future, but I feel I've got a enough evidence now to convince me it's looking bleak.

I keep up running 4 days a week. No matter how bad I'm feeling, or how badly a plan or treatment has fallen apart and the future just looks so sad and lonely, I just keep that one thing going to keep me from collapsing into complete stagnation, where I can stay for long periods of time.

Is there something like that you could do? Doesn't have to be exercise, just one thing you could keep up that benefits, where you can see progression over time and is sustainable during your lowest lows.
I've been trying to make sure I take care of myself ( like showering, brushing hair and teeth, washing my face, doing skincare routine) everyday morning and night because usually I neglect myself when it starts to get bad. But this month I've tried to make Sure I have 30 mins in the morning and have and hour at night to do this stuff. it does make me feel better even if its just small things like putting on lotion that smells good before bed or washing my face.

I have actually thought about taking up running as an outlet to help me destress. I used to be big into volleyball. How have you found running to help with recovery? how long do you usually run for ? and what time in the day?

Thank you so much for the advice :) :heart:
 
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Deadweight

Deadweight

Member
Nov 10, 2021
30
I used to run late at night because I didn't want to be seen, but about 2 months ago I swapped to 6AM, which gets me out of bed early and it's early enough so that there's only a few other early risers up.

I'm at a point where I can jog 5k and now I'm just working on getting my time below 30mins. It's a slow jog but 5k was my goal, now I want to do it well. So in that way it really helps. My life is a trainwreck and I feel shit all the time, but at least I still have something.

Also I go to the same park so I see all the regulars, wave hello, pet their dog, exchange pleasantries and feel like a human for a bit.

But I guess I'm saying I've given up on motivation and you sound like you have routine in place already. Sorry I couldn't be much help. Please PM me if you figure out the answer!
 
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ihatemylife

Member
Jul 14, 2021
87
I've been trying to make sure I take care of myself ( like showering, brushing hair and teeth, washing my face, doing skincare routine) everyday morning and night because usually I neglect myself when it starts to get bad. But this month I've tried to make Sure I have 30 mins in the morning and have and hour at night to do this stuff. it does make me feel better even if its just small things like putting on lotion that smells good before bed or washing my face.

I have actually thought about taking up running as an outlet to help me destress. I used to be big into volleyball. How have you found running to help with recovery? how long do you usually run for ? and what time in the day?

Thank you so much for the advice :) :heart:
I think you definitely should. No longer being able to run due to my chronic illness is what got me to want to ctb. Before that for 25 years it was literally what saved me from depression. It was life altering. It releases endorphins that last all day. If you can do it I think you would be crazy not to give it a try. If you do please run a mile or 2 for me. Mornings are best as the sun rises and streets are quiet. You literally feel like you own the streets. ugh just thinking about it gives me Goosebumps.. I always told people its impossible to be depressed when you run. It immediately made me happy. I used to run 80miles per week lol. If i could run again., I know for 100% fact I would not want to ctb ever. I always said to people I don't know why its not prescribed for a treatment for depression . It literally becomes like a drug. You feel high.
 
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ghost_

ghost_

Member
Nov 10, 2021
62
I used to run late at night because I didn't want to be seen, but about 2 months ago I swapped to 6AM, which gets me out of bed early and it's early enough so that there's only a few other early risers up.

I'm at a point where I can jog 5k and now I'm just working on getting my time below 30mins. It's a slow jog but 5k was my goal, now I want to do it well. So in that way it really helps. My life is a trainwreck and I feel shit all the time, but at least I still have something.

Also I go to the same park so I see all the regulars, wave hello, pet their dog, exchange pleasantries and feel like a human for a bit.

But I guess I'm saying I've given up on motivation and you sound like you have routine in place already. Sorry I couldn't be much help. Please PM me if you figure out the answer!
you have helped me :) :heart: I think I would like to try and take up running! I might go to a local gym to do it tho, as I live in northern Canada and its very icy outside now.
I think you definitely should. No longer being able to run due to my chronic illness is what got me to want to ctb. Before that for 25 years it was literally what saved me from depression. It was life altering. It releases endorphins that last all day. If you can do it I think you would be crazy not to give it a try. If you do please run a mile or 2 for me. Mornings are best as the sun rises and streets are quiet. You literally feel like you own the streets. ugh just thinking about it gives me Goosebumps.. I always told people its impossible to be depressed when you run. It immediately made me happy. I used to run 80miles per week lol
I think ill definitely try running now! both of your stories have helped! When I go out running I'll be thinking of you for sure.:heart: 80miles is so impressive! I hope both of you find peace in recovery
200.gif
 
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ihatemylife

Member
Jul 14, 2021
87
you have helped me :) :heart: I think I would like to try and take up running! I might go to a local gym to do it tho, as I live in northern Canada and its very icy outside now.

I think ill definitely try running now! both of your stories have helped! When I go out running I'll be thinking of you for sure.:heart: 80miles is so impressive! I hope both of you find peace in recovery
200.gif
Yay, I am so.excited for you. I just got a giddy feeling just hearing about it, lol
 
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