BaconCheeseburger

BaconCheeseburger

Comfort-eating
Aug 4, 2018
693
I feel like an idiot for not having found this forum earlier. I was on r/sanctionedsuicide before it got shut down and never once thought to Google search the same name.

I'm 24. Wanted to die for years now. Don't really know why I'm even trying to introduce myself. I need to be part of this, this kind of the site is the only place where I'll be able to talk about how relieving the thought of death is without turning peoples' stomachs.

I'm living for the convenience of others, because life is never about you. It's about stabbing yourself in the eyes over and over just to make sure that someone has a miserable (but breathing) daughter, sister, internet friend..

If only they'd let me go. There will never be a 'good time' to go. That's why I often wish for accidents. Like a car crash, or getting attacked by a gang or something or getting caught up in a terrorist attack (not too farfetched given the way the world is turning). No accidents yet though, and at the same time I wonder if I'd have the guts to step out into the firing line if an opportunity did arise.

My current way of dealing with the emptiness is to sleep it off, because I still live with my parents and moving out isn't an option [that I have enough energy to organise] yet. I can't cut. I'd love to cut, my arms have been dry for years but I'd just love to get back into it to feel better. Or to feel something remotely triumphant.

Maybe I'll be stuck on this site forever
 
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
Welcome here.

I'm living for the convenience of others, because life is never about you. It's about stabbing yourself in the eyes over and over just to make sure that someone has a miserable (but breathing) daughter, sister, internet friend..

I think the same. "Life is never about you". Only fake promises which are ripped in front of your eyes, like we wouldn't be the owners of our own life. It sucks.