Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
I would like to know if anyone else feels a weakness / floating feeling since their decision ctb.it feels,in some ways like a stillness of mind but my thoughts are racing at the same time.I have felt my grip on life is slipping and I really do feel life is coming to an end and there is nothing I can or want to do about it.it is a sureal feeling like no other.I have reached the acceptance stage of my death in the quest for achieving the acceptance stage of hubby death which is like chasing gold at the end of the rainbow in the way I will never get there.
 
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goggleboxers

-
May 24, 2018
145
Do you want to die so you can be with your husband ? Tell us more about him if you don’t mind sharing
 
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
My husband was nicknamed tIgger.his personally could stretch the world over.he was happy,funny,loving and caring just to name a few.he was was true soul mate who I love and miss so so much.
I want my pain to end.
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
No.he had a massive stroke.he collapsed at home on a sat morning and died monday morning.he was a fit guy.
 
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Ssname

Experienced
Jun 30, 2018
268
I'm sorry you lost him. I don't have anything useful to say sorry.
 
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
It's OK. I love talking to people on here but now realise there are no words left to say or hear from professionals.THE only way I will not ctb is by being locked up.
 
G

goggleboxers

-
May 24, 2018
145
What happened during your recent hospital spell I thought if they caught you looking to potential harm yourself they would lock you up in an institution?
 
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
I was discharged from my hospital visit because I managed to play down my feelings but I don't think there was a bed anyway.! A few people were surprised and wanted me admitted but now social services have got on my back and are checking that I make it to my mums this weekend there is reduced opportunities.