- Aug 16, 2022
If I don't, I've sure gone through a lot of expense — and put my loved ones through worry — just for ctb cosplay
I hear you. I so wish there was a safe, legal way. Like you could fill out some government paperwork and then you're allowed to have a doctor put you down.I think I'll do it 100%. Scared af but there's literally nothing for me here. The only thing I'm unsure about is which method to use, they all seem scary, uncomfortable and gruesome. Wish I could do it with someone
Been my method all summer and I’m glad I didn’t immediately do it because I’ve been conditioning myself to not be afraid of the nausea, anxiety, etc for if or when I drink it.I believe you are correct. It’s not going to be painless. I read the documentary where someone took SN and another watched and reported back what they witnessed. While it didn’t sound horrible it wasn’t as peaceful as some would think. It sounded based on what I read painful for several minutes.
But define painful… I suffer each day everyday. Is what I read any different? At least after some brief pain it’s all over. But no, it’s definitely not the story book fall asleep and never wake up again kinda death. Not at all, but it’s the best we have for now….
I didn't think I ever would until the day that I did it and failed.I feel like I could go either way. I really don't want to be stuck the way I am forever- that is not improving my life but not ctb either. I am just stuck in between. I don't know whether to give recovery another real go. I tried to get better before through medication and it just ruined my life instead and is the reason I am ctb. I'm also tired of the relationship I have with my family- I don't want to deal with the financial disputes and wills and things like that anymore. Unluckily for me, I've never really believed SN is painless and that's my method. Cutting your body off from oxygen does not sound painless to me. I might be wrong about that but I can't shake that belief. Sorry to be such a downer, but I'm feeling v helpless and desperately unhappy. |Not sure what to do. How about you?
'Increasingly desperate' that's my mental state today and most all daysIm getting increasingly desperate as time goes on due to restricted access to SN where i live. That's why i have stuck with jumping and I'm awaiting the right time to ctb where i dont worry about SI.
I've had two overdoses in the past and im only 18...