- Apr 1, 2021
My ctb date is supposed to be approaching and I want more than anything to stick to it, but lifes circumstances have thrown some curve balls where I probably will have to postpone. I keep having personal things piled on my plate, but at one point, I just have to be enough is enough. I swear, being a people pleaser is as bad as SI sometimes. I just want everyone to leave me alone, quit loving me, quit caring about me, quit demanding things of me so that I can just disappear into the sweet nothingness of death. I hope at some point I can block all of that out of my mind and just ctb like I want too. I wish it was easier to block it out and not care for me. The thing is, there will always be something, and I can't live like that forever when I've been dead inside most of my life. I just want peace y'all.