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guessilldie

guessilldie

Member
Jun 17, 2018
19
First off all I'm isecure as fuck, and english isn't my first language so just ingore the grammar, thanks.

I'm going to ctb in less than 24 hours, finally found a suspension that can hold my weight. The point of this post however is about family. I'm 22 right now, and since I was 15 i thrown away everything that matters, school, friends etc..So I didn't really planned for the future :D. My family is pretty OK I guess. Maybe not for someone who has mental illness, but they could be a lot worse. So the point is even though they now I'm a loser, they still think I'll have kids, a job and overall a normal life. They remind me of those every week. And I feel bad for them, knowing what is going to happen today. I don't have any loose ends, "only" my family. It breaks my heart, even though they are abusive, whats going to happen to them. God it's sucks. I know this question has been asked a million times, but since I won't leave a note, maybe they find it so they wont blame themselfs..
 
M

millefeui

-
Mar 31, 2018
1,036
Consider leaving a note then. Or a letter. Explaining that the reasons that lead you to the decision of taking your own life are in no way related to them (even if they are), and that there was nothing they could have done to prevent it.
 
Definitelyworried

Definitelyworried

Member
Jun 19, 2018
555
First off all I'm isecure as fuck, and english isn't my first language so just ingore the grammar, thanks.

I'm going to ctb in less than 24 hours, finally found a suspension that can hold my weight. The point of this post however is about family. I'm 22 right now, and since I was 15 i thrown away everything that matters, school, friends etc..So I didn't really planned for the future :D. My family is pretty OK I guess. Maybe not for someone who has mental illness, but they could be a lot worse. So the point is even though they now I'm a loser, they still think I'll have kids, a job and overall a normal life. They remind me of those every week. And I feel bad for them, knowing what is going to happen today. I don't have any loose ends, "only" my family. It breaks my heart, even though they are abusive, whats going to happen to them. God it's sucks. I know this question has been asked a million times, but since I won't leave a note, maybe they find it so they wont blame themselfs..
You can try a getting a job, u have your families support. I could see if you didn't have families support.
It's really up to you but that is my view on it.
 
guessilldie

guessilldie

Member
Jun 17, 2018
19
You can try a getting a job, u have your families support. I could see if you didn't have families support.
It's really up to you but that is my view on it.
I always manage to get a job, i just can't maintain it. I don't really have THAT MUCH problem with the working part of the job rather with the people part of it. I'm simply unable to connect with people on any level, no therapy really worked, and its getting worse year by year. Thanks for your answer though. :)
 
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Definitelyworried

Definitelyworried

Member
Jun 19, 2018
555
I always manage to get a job, i just can't maintain it. I don't really have THAT MUCH problem with the working part of the job rather with the people part of it. I'm simply unable to connect with people on any level, no therapy really worked, and its getting worse year by year. Thanks for your answer though. :)
There are some jobs that don't require much human interaction, like security guards, janitor, welding, locksmith, plumbing.
But that is just another suggestion, that ultimately only you know what the true answer for this is.
I know it sucks to be considering suicide, I wish no one would ever have to consider suicide, but it's usually one of the top 10 most common ways people die.
 
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guessilldie

guessilldie

Member
Jun 17, 2018
19
There are some jobs that don't require much human interaction, like security guards, janitor, welding, locksmith, plumbing.
But that is just another suggestion, that ultimately only you know what the true answer for this is.
I know it sucks to be considering suicide, I wish no one would ever have to consider suicide, but it's usually one of the top 10 most common ways people die.
Its Asperger and depression that I've been diagnosed ,whats eating my brain. Barely can keep up with the easiest tasks. I appriceciate your reply, but I'm gone already. I guess if you are on this page, I wish you the best and/or peace. :) And sorry you are here
 
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