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SpinTop555

SpinTop555

Abject_Disgrace
Joined
Nov 16, 2020
Messages
67
To recover, to get better, I would need constant support, emotional support, therapy, medications, and probably a myriad of other things... All of which seem to cost money. And everything is a vicious cycle. I need money for help. I need a job for money. I can't get a job as I'm so depressed and self conscious. I have more than a couple of issues I need to address. And it's all so overwhelming. And I can't get the help I need, to recover, due to not being able to afford it. It's all a nightmare. This life is a nightmare. A revolving door of nightmares, one after the other. So what do I do? And I have a daughter whom I want to get better for, but my heart and my mind and body make it impossible! I'm hopeless. I don't think I will make it to the end of the year at this rate.
 
T

timf

Arcanist
Joined
Mar 26, 2020
Messages
426
Almost anyone's life, when taken in total, can seem overwhelming. I have heard an old saying, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time".

You may not appreciate the strength you do have. The fact that you have gotten this far shows some achievement that you probably have not given yourself full credit for.

If a job is too much, you might look at something part time or volunteer as a way to build up confidence.
 
SpinTop555

SpinTop555

Abject_Disgrace
Joined
Nov 16, 2020
Messages
67
timf said:
Almost anyone's life, when taken in total, can seem overwhelming. I have heard an old saying, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time".

You may not appreciate the strength you do have. The fact that you have gotten this far shows some achievement that you probably have not given yourself full credit for.

If a job is too much, you might look at something part time or volunteer as a way to build up confidence.
Yes, it is overwhelming. I am overwhelmed and in despair. I have heard of that saying. Yes it is true, but for me, a lot of my problems go hand in hand, and I am not sure what you mean. I have tried tackling one problem at a time, it doesn't work, bit by bit doesn't work, I don't get anywhere. Always end up back at square one. It's not strength that has seen me this far, it is fear, it is guilt, it is shame, is sheer survival for my daughter's sake. I am tired of this pain. So worn down. A broken record of a broken heart and mind.

And I am not sure that a part time job would help, or even volunteering, it runs deeper than confidence. I don't want to come across certain people in this life. I think that whatever one needs to continue in this, I am lacking. I can't fix the things in me that need to repaired. I just wish there were more support available. Maybe then I wouldn't be on the way to an early grave.

Thankyou for replying, I do appreciate it. I only wish things were so simple.
 
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Huntfish34

Huntfish34

Mage
Joined
Mar 13, 2020
Messages
516
I agree with the elephant and 1 bite at a time...... For sure , but the 1 bite and 1 day at a time has absolutely worn me Down more than Id care to admit. This whole life is such a Vicious, fucked, Idiot cycle we have to deal with.. The revolving doors and such you speak of.. Wow, thats me right there. Just want to be DONE..... Forever..

Im personally just Sick and tired of being sick and tired. I wish you the best in whatever may happen,

Butch
 
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SpinTop555

SpinTop555

Abject_Disgrace
Joined
Nov 16, 2020
Messages
67
Huntfish34 said:
I agree with the elephant and 1 bite at a time...... For sure , but the 1 bite and 1 day at a time has absolutely worn me Down more than Id care to admit. This whole life is such a Vicious, fucked, Idiot cycle we have to deal with.. The revolving doors and such you speak of.. Wow, thats me right there. Just want to be DONE..... Forever..

Im personally just Sick and tired of being sick and tired. I wish you the best in whatever may happen,

Butch
Life is so much more complicated than just one bite at a time. Literally there is always several things happening at once. Bodily functions, thoughts, feelings, actions or lack thereof. And that's before anything else is tackled. I read something not long ago on another thread, about how people just expect you to get better by standing on the sidelines yelling that they care but not actually doing anything to help. The old, you have to save yourself, nobody else can do it for you. Well then, I'm literally damned. Because I absolutely cannot do it, help myself, by myself. So alone. This life is so fucked up. And I feel the same as you, so completely and utterly worn down, by people acting as sounding boards rather than any real help. Just like, hmmmm yes that is so very sad, well that's me done for today, and probably the next few weeks or months, hope you enjoyed my commiserations, off you go, back to your struggles, you can do this. Well I can't. I really can't. I am fucked. This life is unbearable. I am so tired of being in this pain. And the only way to make it stop, is to put an end to it once and for all. My words are inadequate, my brain does not function well anymore. I cannot articulate my thoughts and feelings as I would like. My words are messy and incompetent. Reflecting my inner workings and world. I'm sorry if this is all over the place, which I know it is. I wish you the very best in whatever happens for you as well. Thank you for you reply.
 
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