Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
I told of my suicidal thoughts to my parents recently. They know I have countless problems. They told me that the family would be devastated. My parents mention how family gatherings wouldn’t be the same without me.

I wouldn’t want to spend time with me if I could split myself in 2. I don’t smile. I’m always depressed or on edge. I’m typically complaining about some new problem in my life. If anything, family gatherings should improve ha. I was fun to be around but that was over a decade ago.
 
Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
I feel the same, I assume it must be a drag to try and talk to me/be around me. Hence why I pretty much isolate myself now. No one's gonna truly miss me because I'm never around anyway
I’m never around either and when I am, I’m stoic and not really talking to anyone. My mom is very religious and thinks there’s a purpose for my life. I realize my only purpose is to suffer and that’s not a purpose i want
 
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Threads

Threads

Warlock
Jul 13, 2018
724
I just go out and have a good time.

I put on a mask or persona and go to town with it. I'm very charismatic. It's easy for me to look happy.
 
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Luke

Luke

tired
Apr 11, 2018
293
I feel the same, I assume it must be a drag to try and talk to me/be around me. Hence why I pretty much isolate myself now. No one's gonna truly miss me because I'm never around anyway

I did the exact same thing. The everyday conversations, the boring small talk, the mask I have to put on just drains me even more.

How can people be so shallow and care about stuff thats unimportant and irrelevant for me. What did Stacey say in the office, what was on TV.... seriously..?
 
Luke

Luke

tired
Apr 11, 2018
293
I just go out and have a good time.

I put on a mask or persona and go to town with it. I'm very charismatic. It's easy for me to look happy.

I'm good at pretending too. I think most of us are. It requires tremendous effort though.. it's really convincing as I've been told, for like 15 minutes.. that's about the limit I can keep it on tops.

For exactly why should I waste energy on this..? To hear their pathetic stories? No thanks.
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
I did the exact same thing. The everyday conversations, the boring small talk, the mask I have to put on just drains me even more.

How can people be so shallow and care about stuff thats unimportant and irrelevant for me. What did Stacey say in the office, what was on TV.... seriously..?
Yeah that way of thinking has just gotten worse, I don't even try to pretend to care, just stare blankly as I got nothing else to input in the 'conversation'
 
BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
I’m never around either and when I am, I’m stoic and not really talking to anyone. My mom is very religious and thinks there’s a purpose for my life. I realize my only purpose is to suffer and that’s not a purpose i want
Our only purpose is the one we create for ourselves. If I had the mental capacity to be confident and believe that I have a higher purpose than to do what I do, I would, but I'm fucking ruined and tired, my time is up.
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
People love complicated people lol! They probably enjoy watching us suffer and that’s the main reason they don’t want us to exit prematurely.
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
I just go out and have a good time.

I put on a mask or persona and go to town with it. I'm very charismatic. It's easy for me to look happy.
I use this method to keep up the front that I’m happy to people I care about.
 
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S

Ssname

Experienced
Jun 30, 2018
268
I used to say this as a joke when I was deliberately being annoying or making terrible joked etc. Now I wonder if on a subconscious level I always mean it.
 
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H

HelpPlease

Psych ward
Sep 9, 2018
188
My family doesn’t want me around since I’ve gotten brain damage
 
not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,124
lol, I can't help you, I have long since stopped caring whether or not people enjoy my company. I do not exist for their fucking amusement. I am not a sunny holiday or a delicious dessert, I am not meant to be "enjoyed".

I enjoy isolating myself not only for my own pleasure, but it's also considerate to other people, who would only find my company incomprehensible and annoying anyway. I don't see a problem with it. Everybody wins!
I did the exact same thing. The everyday conversations, the boring small talk, the mask I have to put on just drains me even more.

How can people be so shallow and care about stuff thats unimportant and irrelevant for me. What did Stacey say in the office, what was on TV.... seriously..?
lol I don't mean to armchair-diagnose you guys,but you all sound very autistic, talking about masking-up and bitching about how you hate small talk and small minds.

I love it.
Yeah that way of thinking has just gotten worse, I don't even try to pretend to care, just stare blankly as I got nothing else to input in the 'conversation'
Still waters run deep.
 
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