ImNotBatman

ImNotBatman

Student
May 9, 2018
144
Bloodloss due to slit wrists, says google/wiki.
 
I

I will go soon

Member
Apr 9, 2018
62
Slit himself with shards from a broken bottle I believe. Not entirely sure.
 
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SleepItOff

SleepItOff

Would that I could
May 5, 2018
44
It kind of breaks my heart that this is the way he went; with his wealth, he could easily have afforded a method that would be swift and painless. But I suppose he had his reasons, and it's not for us to try and understand.
 
ImNotBatman

ImNotBatman

Student
May 9, 2018
144
It kind of breaks my heart that this is the way he went; with his wealth, he could easily have afforded a method that would be swift and painless. But I suppose he had his reasons, and it's not for us to try and understand.

Maybe in his mind he wanted to leave as he lived, painfully. Ive had a few friends say that if they had to CTB, theyd fall on a sword, or shoot themselves in the stomach, to relish in the pain.
 
SleepItOff

SleepItOff

Would that I could
May 5, 2018
44
Maybe in his mind he wanted to leave as he lived, painfully. Ive had a few friends say that if they had to CTB, theyd fall on a sword, or shoot themselves in the stomach, to relish in the pain.
I can't personally imagine wanting to go about it like that, but I suppose it would make sense for somebody wanting to make a statement
 
El Topo

El Topo

(---)
Apr 21, 2018
480
Maybe in his mind he wanted to leave as he lived, painfully. Ive had a few friends say that if they had to CTB, theyd fall on a sword, or shoot themselves in the stomach, to relish in the pain.

Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I have a good friend who has PTSD (he was a Marine in Iraq). He told me that if he commits suicide, he wants to do it in a violent way. I don't understand the appeal, but it's impossible to know a person's interiority.
 
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M

MAIO

Elementalist
Apr 8, 2018
839
Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I have a good friend who has PTSD (he was a Marine in Iraq). He told me that if he commits suicide, he wants to do it in a violent way. I don't understand the appeal, but it's impossible to know a person's interiority.

I get the appeal. Last time you can ever feel anything, might as well be extreme. (Although I think people forget how terrible pain can be)
 
GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

#Thlammed
Jan 26, 2021
4,734
I get the appeal of it, you have and demonstrate complete control and mastery over yourself during the process. Slicing away until you pass out is different from falling on a sword or shooting yourself in the gut, however.
 
muffin222

muffin222

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2020
1,221
I also think maybe he struggled with self-hatred as well, and perhaps he wanted to punish himself by suffering as much as possible in his final moments as a way to "get back" at himself. Self-hatred can warp a person's self-perspective to extreme degrees.

I'm still a little saddened that he died in a fairly gruesome manner, but we'll never be able to know his state of mind at the time or his intentions for choosing to ctb in this way.
 
T

the_final_countdown

Specialist
Dec 29, 2020
340
I can’t imagine dying that way. It seems so painful.

I once passed out after donating blood. I felt like I was going to die. It was psychologically devastating. There was so much regret and sadness then I woke up like 5 minutes later with my shirt wide open and a bunch of nurses and doctors staring at me. Felt like I had just run a marathon.
 
wait.what

wait.what

no really, what?
Aug 14, 2020
159
Some immature part of me is in awe of the brutality of his method. Slashing your wrists with shards from a broken bottle? Jesus Christ. That’s like an animal chewing it’s own foot off to escape a trap. It shows pure, single-minded determination as a repudiation of life. It makes a hell of a statement.

I sort of feel like the Deathklok guys, standing around saying, “That ... is soooooo ... METAL!” Which it is. Dumb to have that reaction to it, but there you are.
 
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notreallynow

notreallynow

Member
Oct 21, 2020
57
I get the appeal of it, you have and demonstrate complete control and mastery over yourself during the process. Slicing away until you pass out is different from falling on a sword or shooting yourself in the gut, however.
It's not really so much control and mastery, it's more like the very opposite, if you are drunk (and being a severe alcoholic he could drink far far more than most people could without passing out) it just comes as an impulse. I started self harming out of nowhere the first time I got drunk. I had like 2 shots and a kitchen knife suddenly looked like the most pretty thing on earth. Your skin feels like absolutely nothing, you have the sense you are painting, or watching a surreal music video, none of it feels real.
I don't know why only some people are like this. It's not all to do with being depressed. My theory is, some people - eg BPD, severe ADHD - who already have a weak emotional 'filter' can easily become overwhelmed by emotion to the point where other things - like self preservation are at least temporarily drowned out. They are already a little naturally 'drunk', have less internal emotional inhibition, so the alcohol has a kind of volatile effect. The intense self loathing which has to be repressed constantly is only a thread away from crashing down, at any point, so when it does, it manifests in a physically violent way.
 
GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

#Thlammed
Jan 26, 2021
4,734
It's not really so much control and mastery, it's more like the very opposite, if you are drunk (and being a severe alcoholic he could drink far far more than most people could without passing out) it just comes as an impulse. I started self harming out of nowhere the first time I got drunk. I had like 2 shots and a kitchen knife suddenly looked like the most pretty thing on earth. Your skin feels like absolutely nothing, you have the sense you are painting, or watching a surreal music video, none of it feels real.
I don't know why only some people are like this. It's not all to do with being depressed. My theory is, some people - eg BPD, severe ADHD - who already have a weak emotional 'filter' can easily become overwhelmed by emotion to the point where other things - like self preservation are at least temporarily drowned out. They are already a little naturally 'drunk', have less internal emotional inhibition, so the alcohol has a kind of volatile effect. The intense self loathing which has to be repressed constantly is only a thread away from crashing down, at any point, so when it does, it manifests in a physically violent way.
I was talking about a sober suicide attempt, not drinking and self harming.
 
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sadgirl2002

sadgirl2002

Fallen Angel
Apr 9, 2019
452
I'm sad that he died in such a painful way but I can understand why he did it. I'm currently listening to his songs, I always loved them... it makes me feel so nostalgic... sad, it reminds me of a better time. I never knew him but I do miss him :(
 
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