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U

unoriginal

Member
Apr 28, 2018
24
The advice I often see on how to make friends in adulthood is to find a hobby or get into some sort of organized activity, join the community associated with it and participate. But what if one doesn't have any hobbies or passions? And I don't even mean something highly specific and uncommon, like making yakut felt amulets or some other bullshit. I don't even particularly like games or books or movies. On what foundations do ordinary people build their friendships?

I'm not a completely benighted ignoramus, I read philosophy and pop-science now and then and casually interested in stuff, just not even remotely enough to socialize among experts or fans.

I can't even find what to talk about in anonymous chats, like omegle.
 
fuckthis

fuckthis

I've made up my mind.
Sep 23, 2018
264
I can relate. I used to ask for advice all the time on the internet, more so I would vent quite often about being lonely. Aparrently all I had to do was "join a club" or "find people that have the same interests". I appreciate the help, but I physically struggle to even aproach anyone. I am in the same boast as you in the sense that I no longer have many interests, and the few ones I have are not common. People make it out that there are clubs everywhere and it's as easy as just joining one and talking to people. But I live in a small town where there's fuck all to do, and I get so anxious that I can't even leave the house just thinking about it.

Also, Omegle is not worth your time. I used to spend hours on sites like that and it's very rare to find someone willing to have a conversation with you. Most of the time you'll find naked men with their cocks out, or people that just skip you. I did find some people on there though. It was years and years ago, makes me think what they're all doing now.

I'm sorry I haven't given you much advice, but I'm guessing there isn't really any secret to it. I used to vent about it all the time and I got the same replies constantly. So maybe that's the only way to make friends, have common interests and be able to speak to people. I think generally people don't like being around boring people, or me at least. I am definitely too mundane and depressed to be around others. I think I just make situations worse and make others feel down too. I mean we all have at least one thing in common here, that's why we get along after all.
 
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U

unoriginal

Member
Apr 28, 2018
24
People make it out that there are clubs everywhere and it's as easy as just joining one and talking to people. But I live in a small town where there's fuck all to do, and I get so anxious that I can't even leave the house just thinking about it.
Same here. But I can't even find an online community/social group to be an active part of.

you'll find naked men with their cocks out

Ha, I couldn't get even that, even though I asked. It seems like I was chatting with equally boring unimaginative people, constantly asking me "so, what do u wanna chat about?" I, too, actually remember having some interesting interactions there when back I was a teenager. Talking to someone on the other end of the world seemed novel and thrilling on its own. Now it's just words on the screen.

So maybe that's the only way to make friends, have common interests and be able to speak to people.
The thing is, in my experience, most people irl have pretty limited interests, if at all. Growing up, going to school, uni, socializing with relatives I always felt like I was the one who was uncommonly enthusiastic about specific stuff. Everyone else seemed like they were just coasting along and doing pretty low-effort things to mantain friendships. Maybe that's just how deep friendships go for most people: going out for drinks, gossiping, exchanging friedly banter. And for a few passionates ones there're indeed interest clubs and groups. We seem to be neither socially agreeble/fun-to-be-around enough to have casual friendships nor focused/fannish enough for associations based on shared interests.