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ncmxm

ncmxm

Member
Jun 9, 2021
81
I'm so tired of it. There is this voice inside my head that demeans me and calls me names and that never goes away for more than a few days. I'm tired of hearing this voice verbally abuse me for hours a day. My therapist told me to remind myself of my accomplishments when I hear it but it doesn't help. Do you have any other ways to make it go away?

It honestly contributes to my suicidality sometimes, it's been like this for years and I'm tired of listening to how dumb and repulsive and worthless and worse than everyone I am
 
gottago222

gottago222

Student
Dec 21, 2021
154
these thoughts are intrusive and im surprised by what your therapist told you. fighting back with the thoughts doesnt make them go away, it makes them stronger. when you go back and fourth with these thoughts, your brain says, "this self defeating thought is important! lets replay this over and over again!" when you ignore it, your brain says "that thought isnt important... guess i got to throw it in the trash" and you basically rewire your brain by ignoring the thoughts you dont like. do anything you can to distract yourself never fight these thoughts. watch your favourite tv shows, call a friend, clean up..they will melt away. i learn this from my therapist and its been helping me.
 
ncmxm

ncmxm

Member
Jun 9, 2021
81
these thoughts are intrusive and im surprised by what your therapist told you. fighting back with the thoughts doesnt make them go away, it makes them stronger. when you go back and fourth with these thoughts, your brain says, "this self defeating thought is important! lets replay this over and over again!" when you ignore it, your brain says "that thought isnt important... guess i got to throw it in the trash" and you basically rewire your brain by ignoring the thoughts you dont like. do anything you can to distract yourself never fight these thoughts. watch your favourite tv shows, call a friend, clean up..they will melt away. i learn this from my therapist and its been helping me.

Thank you so much gottago222, it sounds like a great idea, I'm going to switch to your approach from now on!
 
T

timf

Wizard
Mar 26, 2020
615
I was once playing cards with some guys and the TV was on in the background. There was a movie playing that had someone sending Morse code. One of the guys had been a chief in the Navy on an aircraft carrier and had been in charge of the radio room. When he heard the Morse code, he cocked his head and listened for a few seconds, only to dismiss it as "garbage". The people who had made the movie just used some gibberish that actually meant nothing in Morse code.

In a similar way when an internal voice puts fort an accusation or other falsehood, it can be dismissed as "garbage".
 
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Onthe29th

Onthe29th

Student
Dec 28, 2021
170
This might be a strange habit but I actually slap myself when that happens; not hard though. Anything that stings a little bit draws my attention away from my thoughts and to the light pain I’m feeling like pinching myself or flinging myself with rubber bands. I know how crazy it sounds but that really works for me.
 
C

Capsicum_Corral

Student
Dec 10, 2021
111
What @gottago222 said. I might add you could just tell it to stfu before moving on to ignore it, but whatever works for you.

Is your therapist helping with other things? Sometimes you might need to try different therapists to find one with the skills you need, AND one compatible enough with you to have sufficient rapport.
 
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sickofbeinghere

sickofbeinghere

sad girl
Oct 27, 2021
47
these thoughts are intrusive and im surprised by what your therapist told you. fighting back with the thoughts doesnt make them go away, it makes them stronger. when you go back and fourth with these thoughts, your brain says, "this self defeating thought is important! lets replay this over and over again!" when you ignore it, your brain says "that thought isnt important... guess i got to throw it in the trash" and you basically rewire your brain by ignoring the thoughts you dont like. do anything you can to distract yourself never fight these thoughts. watch your favourite tv shows, call a friend, clean up..they will melt away. i learn this from my therapist and its been helping me.
thank you your response was really helpful. I struggle with the same thing as OP. glad i saw this thread <3
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
16,321
Wish I could help, but I’ve become so consumed by my inner critic that he’s basically my real self on the outside at this point. I can't forgive him for criticizing me so I took to criticizing him back. It’s gotten so bad that insulting myself has become the norm and the only intrusive thoughts I have these days are the ones to actually recover which I am forbidding for myself because I can’t allow this asshole who’s given me so much verbal abuse to get away with having a happy life.
 
BitterlyAlive_

BitterlyAlive_

-
Dec 8, 2020
2,086
It sounds hokey but I think inner child therapy may help. Those thoughts came from somewhere, do they have a voice? Perhaps it’s because people said those things to you or caused to you often feel that way when you were younger.

Inner child therapy sort of addresses these things, you basically give your inner child the support that you needed. It’s like an inner reconciliation?
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

Falls in love
Nov 25, 2021
388
It sounds hokey but I think inner child therapy may help. Those thoughts came from somewhere, do they have a voice? Perhaps it’s because people said those things to you or caused to you often feel that way when you were younger.

Inner child therapy sort of addresses these things, you basically give your inner child the support that you needed. It’s like an inner reconciliation?
That's interesting because I'm a little bit regressed, a little bit of childhood regression. I don't really suffer as badly with the inner critic though although it could just be my saying that, it sounds horrifying in others.
 
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Chaestergram

Chaestergram

Free spirit
Nov 24, 2021
82
I just think the opposite of it, if any negative/critic thoughts comes to mind, I force myself to think “no, I mean [the opposite of it]” and I do that consistently until it goes away
 
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Pluto

Pluto

Faux human
Dec 27, 2020
639
An artist once made a clever little comic based on the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. He says that observing the process without identifying with the mental voice is sufficient to make it disappear.

 
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maakies

maakies

DOOK
Dec 7, 2021
115
I have a hard time with this. Ignoring doesn’t help me personally. I am constantly doing stuff where I ignore it all day. Then, it gets so bad that I verbalize the thought without control, and try to suppress it at the same time and it comes out like complete gibberish. My partner gets mad whenever I do it which is often. Drugs and alcohol help - anything to impair linear thinking. Which is not great but the alternatives are few.
 
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T

TheBestUsernameEver

Member
Dec 26, 2021
81
What worked for me is that whenever I had a negative thought I would catch myself and challenge it.

For instance, if I thought that a shop worker was being rude to me and I thought something bad about them, I would catch myself and consider that they may have had a bad day or whatever.
 
Klee

Klee

Never play cards with a magician.
Apr 19, 2020
136
Laugh at it. My little inner critic is always trying to tell me everything I do isn’t good enough - I laugh at it, haha, jokes on you cos I’m doing great, sort of thing.
 
mixolydian

mixolydian

broken body, broken mind
Aug 2, 2020
426
The only thing that has worked for me in this regard is either 1) practicing a distance or non-attachment to your thoughts (easier said than done and takes a lot of practice), and 2) distraction. Usually 2 wins out.
 
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,377
I make everything else shut up so I can be alone with him
 
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C

cooldude420

Member
Aug 8, 2021
69
meditashun.



link 4 free year. it gud app. halp me mush

me think dis shud be in recovery mega thred