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WornOutLife

WornOutLife

マット
Joined
Mar 22, 2020
Messages
7,335
I thought I was gonna ctb either last year or this one but, it seems I'll be around for some more years!
(I'm deffo getting the hell outta this planet before my 40s. I'm 33 now)
 
Largeletters

Largeletters

Cursed
Joined
Jan 21, 2020
Messages
417
This is an interesting question, I'd say at most, two, but I'm really not sure as I never thought of this question specifically. I don't want to live for more than that, but I thought I'd be dead for a long time by now, so who knows.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Living dead girl
Joined
Sep 24, 2020
Messages
2,090
It all just depends on what happens in my life, if things get worse I will try to leave sooner. I should have left years ago honestly. Whatever happens I will never reach old age, and that is a fact.
 
W

WaitingForTheBusInTh

Student
Joined
Nov 18, 2020
Messages
153
I'd like to be able to wait the 2 years for the laws for MAiD in Canada to change so I can have a peaceful death. But every say, all I can think about is 'should I hang myself when I get home?'. And all I think about at home is if I were to hang myself then, would there be enough time? I want a peaceful death but I dont know if I can hold out.
Sometimes at night I go on a drive with my noose in my backpack, to see if I could bring myself to do it. Evidentally that hasn't worked out
 
nolongerhuman

nolongerhuman

Arcanist
Joined
Feb 9, 2021
Messages
456
I don't know. I wake up every morning thinking "should I?" and then deciding against it for various reasons. If Graduate school is anything like my last year of undergrad though I don't expect it to be very long. Can't do that again and am much too stubborn to change careers.
 
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UseItOrLoseIt

UseItOrLoseIt

Fugazi
Joined
Dec 4, 2020
Messages
1,561
hotelbeneathground said:
Stop scaring people with reality, most of them can't handle it :ohhhh:
I don't think people in here get so easily scared. But yeah, I guess it is scary when you realize you can handle pretty much everything.
 
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hotelbeneathground

hotelbeneathground

zzz
Joined
Apr 13, 2021
Messages
2,177
UseItOrLoseIt said:

On a completely unrelated note, the other day I learned that 3 of my favorite porn stars died by suicide. It didn't happen recently, but it still made me sad. One of them was a pharmacist in Hungary before he made it in Pornywood, so he successfully OD-ed on a cocktail of meds. He was 45. I think I'm in love with him now & fantasizing about doing nasty stuff to him feels weird
 
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Thisgirlwantstosleep

Thisgirlwantstosleep

Don't say sh*t unless you mean it
Joined
Mar 11, 2019
Messages
113
I'm trying to hold on but my present is unbearable and my future is incredibly bleak.

I'm going to buy the SN, meto and propranolol regardless when I get my money tomorrow but honestly I could go at any moment. I have literally nothing to be happy about or stay for.
 
ImsooDone1N

ImsooDone1N

Specialist
Joined
Nov 22, 2018
Messages
329
I don’t even know why I’m still here. I don’t know what will happen, & it’s terrifying. I’m stuck in a awful limbo. But things are quickly getting much worse, I’ve never before felt like I had so little (almost nothing) to live for. I can only hope this suffering ends soon.
 
UseItOrLoseIt

UseItOrLoseIt

Fugazi
Joined
Dec 4, 2020
Messages
1,561
hotelbeneathground said:
On a completely unrelated note, the other day I learned that 3 of my favorite porn stars died by suicide. It didn't happen recently, but it still made me sad. One of them was a pharmacist in Hungary before he made it in Pornywood, so he successfully OD-ed on a cocktail of meds. He was 45.
No matter how awesome it seems I think porn is very tough, for some people. Playing with your intimacy can play tricks on you. And is not a healthy way of dealing with hidden agendas or mental illness. I watched some interviews with pornstars. Some of them look dead inside. No doubt this is the wrong line of work for them.
hotelbeneathground said:
I think I'm in love with him now & fantasizing about doing nasty stuff to him feels weird
Think of it as paying respect to the guy. His legacy lives on.
 
hotelbeneathground

hotelbeneathground

zzz
Joined
Apr 13, 2021
Messages
2,177
UseItOrLoseIt said:
No matter how awesome it seems I think porn is very tough, for some people. Playing with your intimacy can play tricks on you. And is not a healthy way of dealing with hidden agendas or mental illness. I watched some interviews with pornstars. Some of them look dead inside.
It's hardly a secret that many porn performers are damaged people... Thankfully, I'm not into scenarios where the younger &/or physically weaker guys get used. It's easier to fool oneself that athletic men who act traditionally masculine don't have feelings & suffer
 

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