• Welcome to SanctionedSuicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness and suicide. Please read our rules and our Principles.
    If you are in need of immediate support, please call the Samaritans hotline at (877) 870-4673, or check our recovery resources.

W

WFJ74

Student
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
118
One attempt at 19. Was "saved" so it was a failure. I'm 46 now and have SN ready so I suppose I've been suicidal on and off for all those years in between. Been planning for a few months now, have all my stuff in order so I can go pretty much whenever I'm ready.
 
greyback330

greyback330

Student
Joined
Oct 20, 2020
Messages
131
3 years
three times (2 carbon monoxide, 1 partial suspension)
now i got my SN and i feel comfortable.
 
Neowise

Neowise

We fly and fly but never reach our destination.
Joined
Oct 7, 2020
Messages
238
The first time I talked about killing myself was when I was 8 or 9. I probably didn't fully realize what I was saying but the thoughts were there. Now I am 25, but interestingly I have never made any attempts.
I'm a person that can't truly hate. Even though I hate my life I don't hate it enough to ctb, no matter what happens.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: SmellyRat
sweater

sweater

tired of it all
Joined
Dec 23, 2020
Messages
28
I have been wanting to kill myself since I was probably about 13. I am 30 now. I have made 2 solid attempts in my life (blood loss) and came very close to using a gun for my latest attempt. I was hospitalized for a bit and was forced to do an outpatient program for a month afterward. That was December 2019.
Every day I wish I had gone through with it and succeeded, but I was too afraid of a failure that would leave me alive but brain dead.
I haven’t made an attempt since but the thoughts never leave me.
I’m in the process of obtaining SN with no set date that I plan on making an attempt. But I’d really love to ctb relatively soon.
 
Noriv159

Noriv159

Sigh.
Joined
Oct 22, 2020
Messages
76
I've been suicidal for as long as I can remember. But I only began to want to enact that desire six years ago when things became too heavy in my life. Ever since then it's just been a chain of disasters further enforcing the desire to take my life. I've had several attempts but failed being very impulsive and having unrealistic measures. But I've learned from them and looking back I do feel kinda silly.
 
Last edited:
UiopQwerty

UiopQwerty

Mage
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
553
A little more than 2 years- From the end of december 2018 until today. :I
ewewewe.jpg
 
Eatyourveggies12

Eatyourveggies12

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
9
2 years since my suicide ideation started.

Attempted once about a year ago with my antidepressants and alcohol as a cry for help,to my surprise family did nothing but guilt trip me. That was the day I realized how alone i am.
Next attempt will be with partial,i will not fail that.
 
N

noname223

Elementalist
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
821
9 years. And I am so full of it. I am so obsessed by killing myself especially the last 3 years. My goal is if I try to ctb I hope to succeed. I tried partial but not really seriously and I was standing at a balcony in the seventh floor. Both were not really seriously. Partial hurt a lot I did it probably wrong. I imagined it to be more peaceful. And the seventh floor is not high enough. I am glad I did not go for these methods because the lack of information.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Pookie
E

Emilia1012

Student
Joined
Apr 10, 2021
Messages
101
For me its been only 3 months actually
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Pookie
Shadowgeist

Shadowgeist

Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2021
Messages
38
I have only been suicidal for the last couple of months. Tried to kill myself 4 weeks ago by stabbing myself multiple times in the abdomen with a large kitchen knife. Not a great idea. Now I have SN and the means to do it the right way. Hopefully peace will come soon
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Sans and Pookie
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Living dead girl
Joined
Sep 24, 2020
Messages
2,032
I don’t know how many years exactly, when I was a young teenager I started to have some thoughts about ctb. It has gotten worse as I have gotten older. I’m not sure I’ve ever really wanted to be alive honestly. I have never had a proper attempt, I did wrap a cord around my neck one time but I didn’t really know what I was doing. I guess ctb is hard.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Pookie
singsreignrebuilder

singsreignrebuilder

Member
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
12
Probably over 5 years now, looks so little written out but feels like forever. No attempts as I wouldn't have survived them.
 
Scribble Fan

Scribble Fan

I'm out!
Joined
May 30, 2019
Messages
671
7 years. I've messed around with partial suspension a lot but I've never been able to find the sweet spot. Gave up on that. Now I'm just waiting to buy SN.
 
  • Like
Reactions: singsreignrebuilder
EraseRewind

EraseRewind

Student
Joined
May 13, 2020
Messages
150
40+ years, 3 attempts, first attempt when I was 18, then drank for many years and could keep it at bay last attempt when I was 45. I’ve managed to keep it together but I now have a couple of methods in the cupboard just in case.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Scribble Fan
Wrennie

Wrennie

〘 Latent Corpse 〙
Joined
Dec 18, 2019
Messages
916
I was passively suicidal at 10 years old, moderately suicidal throughout my teens, and finally became actively suicidal at 23.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Scribble Fan
Squalo

Squalo

A Fatal Mistake
Joined
Jan 14, 2021
Messages
84
I have wanted to die since I was 13, but I only started attempting suicide at 20; I tried 6 times by hanging, very rarely because I am very slow to plan.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Scribble Fan
DetachedDreamer97

DetachedDreamer97

Enlightened
Joined
Mar 17, 2018
Messages
1,048
Pretty sure that makes 5 years. As for attempts, none. I’m dead set on perfecting a method.
 
Eire1992

Eire1992

Conducting an experiment on how it feels to die
Joined
Jun 7, 2021
Messages
27
It's something that I've been dealing with for nearly 15 or so years now. I was around 15 years old when the thoughts started. I had been self harming for quite some time already at that point. The first attempt I made was, in all honesty, never going to work. I took an OD of some prescription stuff I had and tried to slash both my wrists. I had no idea how ineffective that method was. Especially since I started on my left and sort of fucked up the tendon (mostly normal usage now), so I couldn't hold the blade to do the right one. But ye, it was never going to work anyway, I had no idea where the artery was, so all I really accomplished was giving myself some scars. The second time what failed me was that it wasn't planned. It's odd, I was standing in a nightclub with a few friends listening to a band and I just put down my drink and walked out without saying a word. Went to the river and climbed over the railing. Unfortunately, it was a Saturday night and the river where I live is a "popular" spot, so it's patrolled on Friday and Saturday nights. I was seen and before I knew it I was being hauled back in over the railing by police who rather "insisted" that I take a little trip to the ER/A&E. As a method, it would have worked, but I was an idiot about how I went about it.

Currently, I have plans in the works, I have everything I need except SN. Funnily enough the anti-emetic etc.. was easier to get where I live than the bloody SN is proving to be.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Largeletters
Bullit

Bullit

Experienced
Joined
May 6, 2021
Messages
257
Two years and four months!! Its been pure shit. I don't know how long I can do this.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Largeletters
Largeletters

Largeletters

Cursed
Joined
Jan 21, 2020
Messages
395
8 years. Countless attempts, at least twenty, the methods being attempted overdoses, hangings, cuttings, and high heights (never jumped- stood at the ledge and couldn't do it).
 
  • Love
Reactions: Bullit