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Hans Voralberg

Hans Voralberg

Experienced
Nov 6, 2021
228
Please help after emotionally loosing both parents i start to move front and back, being numb and sleepy af. I have good focus but sleep problems are exhausting me. It came after realisation my mother had sex with my father because she thought he would loved her afterwards and my knowleadge that my dad never want a child. I feel sick. Is there any DIY methods to reduce symptoms i had small signs of orphan sickness in past but i overcome it till now.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: Pluto
Pluto

Pluto

Meowing to go out
Dec 27, 2020
1,814
I know this feeling well. It's a betrayal of trust issue as well. We trust parents like Gods until one day, we realise they are random people off the street.

The answer is to focus on making new connections. I've often found that people without proper family can connect and play a similar role, and it can all happen quite organically. Easier said than done I know, but there is no other way. Unless there's the possibility of some miraculous turnaround in the relationship, investing in parents is like buying shares in Myspace.
 
BEATNGU

BEATNGU

Bone collector
Jun 15, 2022
57
As an orphan myself my best advice is to take into account that what they felt then may not have been what they felt in the end. My mother and father never intended to have me either and at times my father would resent the mistake of the past for what it was; in the past. However nothing is compartmentalized and that includes feelings. We can hate the action of another and still love them as a whole. I will not assume that I know how your parents felt about you as you are. Maybe they never changed their mind or maybe they did love you even if they resented each others actions. Likewise, their choices may be despised by one another but that's not to say they did not love one another and in turn you as well. Ultimately what does matter is that they are gone and you are still here. It is your choice to decide how you feel about them and the feelings you will carry from here on out. Sometimes I resent my parents simply for dying. I have chosen to let go though. I hope that you find the thoughts that make you feel comfortable with your outlook, for better or for worse.