Apaturesuicience

Apaturesuicience

Member
Jun 29, 2021
11
After talking with professionals, they have come to the conclusion that I wouldn't want to kill myself if my life had a purpose/meaning. There is nothing except anxiety getting me out of bed in the morning, so all I can think of is killing myself. There are many things I enjoy in life, but none of them make me want to stay alive. The theory is that if I had something I truly desired or felt was my life goal, I would push through the bad times (and good times) without wanting to kill myself.

My question is this: How do I find a purpose? Nobody, not even the previously mentioned professionals, have given me any actionable advice. The only things I have heard are "try helping other" or "your purpose is to find a purpose." Neither of those things are helpful. I've tried things like volunteering or pursuing things I enjoy, but none of those things have ever made me feel a desire to stay alive. I have taken on small, impactful responsibilities thinking that would make things better, but it has only made things worse. So what do I do? Is there something I can do to try and find this meaning? Or is my problem something else?
 
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x_riverrock11

Visionary
Jan 24, 2021
2,077
How bad is your anxiety? Is there anything they can do to calm you down a bit? It's hard to find a purpose when your mood is that bad.

To answer your question though, I don't have a purpose, and I really don't think most people do. If asked, they might provide an answer, probably "family" or "to make the world a better place", but is that really what gets them through their day-to-day?

I personally don't think life has a purpose, even the best ones we record in the history books. The most we can have is for someone to rely upon us, even if it is only to enjoy our presence. A pet can fill this spot to an extent if a good person can't be found.
 
Apaturesuicience

Apaturesuicience

Member
Jun 29, 2021
11
How bad is your anxiety? Is there anything they can do to calm you down a bit? It's hard to find a purpose when your mood is that bad.

My anxiety isn't very bad at all. The point is more that I don't get out of bed until I have to. There is nothing that makes me feel like I should continue through tough times.
 
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Dead Ghost

Dead Ghost

Mestre del Temps
May 6, 2022
572
I'm not feeling well, but it's very easy for me to find proposals. All I have to do is walk down streets I haven't been to to force myself to look around and gossip (well, I'm very curious) and start receiving influences from everything that happens around me: a patisserie, a drawing shop, a music academy, a mother who scolds her son for being naughty.
All of a sudden mine starts to kick in, being curious, remembering things I wanted to do or being interested in new things you'd like to try... I start to ask myself things and think of others. I start getting motivation by watching movies, listening to songs...

.. everything gets mixed up until one day I wake up and have the desire to do something or a few specific things and I search the net. Whether learning to play a musical instrument or signing up as a user of a design website to buy their software...

But I don't walk much anymore and when I do I look at the ground so I don't trip, this pandemic has really affected me. But it was very easy for me to find proposals, I just had to feed my mind with all kinds of things so that she would be eager to do more for herself.

//

Jo no em trobo bé, però m'és molt fàcil trobar propósits. L'únic que he de fer es caminar per carrers on no he estat per obligar-me a mirar al meu voltant i xafardejar (doncs sóc molt curiós) i començar a rebre influències de tot el que passa al meu voltant: una pastissería, una botiga de dibuix, una académia de música, una mare que esbronca el seu fill per fer l'entremaliat.
De cop i volta el meu cap comença a arrencar, sent curiositat, recorda coses que volía fer o sent interés per noves que voldries provar... començo a preguntar-me coses i ha plantejar-me d'altres. Començo a treure motivacions al veure películes, escoltar cançons..

.. tot es va barrejant fins que un bon día em llevo i tinc el desig de fer alguna o algunes coses concretes i faig cerca a la xarxa. Sigui aprendre a tocar un instrument musical o donar-me d'alta com a usuari d'una web de disseny per comprar el seu software...

Però ja no camino gaire i quan ho faig vaig mirant el terra per no ensopegar, aquesta pandémia m'ha deixat molt tocat. Però m'era molt fàcil trobar propósits, només havía de donar de menjar a la meva ment amb tot de coses perquè tingués ansia de fer més per ella mateixa.
 
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hamvil

hamvil

Mage
Aug 29, 2022
500
I lost all my purpose in life since quite some time. I wonder how so many people can live drone lives and be happy with it. I just feel my life purposeless and empty.
 
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NegateDemise

Member
Sep 27, 2022
6
You most likely already know your purpose on some level, and just have yet to fully realize it or be intuned with it. I'd suggest taking this test in order to help give yourself a good idea of what your base personality is like: https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test

Although, if I'm being honest, I feel this notion that one must have a higher purpose in life to be prized too highly. The stars, the planets, the flora and fauna, and almost every single living thing on this planet, save for humans, exist without constantly mulling over how they contribute in the grand scheme of things. There is a certain beauty in being just another breathing element in the space around you.

For the longest time, I thought my purpose in life was to discover God and understand the purpose, objective purpose, in life; to build an elaborate system of morals and values that were so thoroughly researched and pondered over that they might as well be gospel. After several episodes of analysis paralysis leaving me in a state of emotional decay, I realized that I'd be better off no longer striving for the impossible and to just embrace my existence as a animal on this planet. I like to travel and go outside. Nothing elaborate, I have no desire to see every country or climb every mountain. Rather, I'm just enjoying what I have around me and all of the natural beauty along with it. And I'm satisfied with just that.
 
Firegirl

Firegirl

Member
Sep 28, 2022
20
You most likely already know your purpose on some level, and just have yet to fully realize it or be intuned with it. I'd suggest taking this test in order to help give yourself a good idea of what your base personality is like: https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test

Although, if I'm being honest, I feel this notion that one must have a higher purpose in life to be prized too highly. The stars, the planets, the flora and fauna, and almost every single living thing on this planet, save for humans, exist without constantly mulling over how they contribute in the grand scheme of things. There is a certain beauty in being just another breathing element in the space around you.

For the longest time, I thought my purpose in life was to discover God and understand the purpose, objective purpose, in life; to build an elaborate system of morals and values that were so thoroughly researched and pondered over that they might as well be gospel. After several episodes of analysis paralysis leaving me in a state of emotional decay, I realized that I'd be better off no longer striving for the impossible and to just embrace my existence as a animal on this planet. I like to travel and go outside. Nothing elaborate, I have no desire to see every country or climb every mountain. Rather, I'm just enjoying what I have around me and all of the natural beauty along with it. And I'm satisfied with just that.
This is profound! Thank you
 
Dead Ghost

Dead Ghost

Mestre del Temps
May 6, 2022
572
You most likely already know your purpose on some level, and just have yet to fully realize it or be intuned with it. I'd suggest taking this test in order to help give yourself a good idea of what your base personality is like: https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test

Although, if I'm being honest, I feel this notion that one must have a higher purpose in life to be prized too highly. The stars, the planets, the flora and fauna, and almost every single living thing on this planet, save for humans, exist without constantly mulling over how they contribute in the grand scheme of things. There is a certain beauty in being just another breathing element in the space around you.

For the longest time, I thought my purpose in life was to discover God and understand the purpose, objective purpose, in life; to build an elaborate system of morals and values that were so thoroughly researched and pondered over that they might as well be gospel. After several episodes of analysis paralysis leaving me in a state of emotional decay, I realized that I'd be better off no longer striving for the impossible and to just embrace my existence as a animal on this planet. I like to travel and go outside. Nothing elaborate, I have no desire to see every country or climb every mountain. Rather, I'm just enjoying what I have around me and all of the natural beauty along with it. And I'm satisfied with just that.
But once the test is done, how is it interpreted correctly?, because in principle it doesn't say anything that I don't already know about myself.
//
Pero un cop fet el test, com s'interpreta bé?, perquè en principi no diu res que jo no sàpiga de mi mateix.

Ennea1 Ennea2
 
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NegateDemise

Member
Sep 27, 2022
6
But once the test is done, how is it interpreted correctly?, because in principle it doesn't say anything that I don't already know about myself.
//
Pero un cop fet el test, com s'interpreta bé?, perquè en principi no diu res que jo no sàpiga de mi mateix.
Type 1 - Pursuing wider social change / fighting for a specific cause (politics, climate change, homelessness, etc.).
Type 5 - Pursuing academic knowledge of a specific subject (philosophy, biology, engineering, etc.).
I meant that it's good at giving a strong hint moreso than outright giving an answer. Unfortunately, no test in the world can really tell you that.
 
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Unhirable

Unhirable

Fxck you
Sep 14, 2022
66
DONT Follow any of these "testS"

Go back up your family tree (if possible) and find out what your ancestors did. Copy what your ancestors (pre 1920s only for various reasons I won't get into) back in the day.

There is no actual "purpose" or singular thing that drives you as a human. That is made up baloney. What it actually is, is the ability to just get up and do the same shit everyday and build an empire from your skill.
 
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chloramine

Experienced
Apr 18, 2022
255
I don’t know. Personally I’m of the belief that purpose is more self assigned than pre-destined. You might have 5 things that fit the category of purpose for you or you might have none. The idea of purpose doesn’t always resonate and that’s okay. Also feeling like you have a purpose won’t magically make suicidal thoughts go away. It can help some people cope and if it helps then great! I’d just be careful about pursuing this (or any singular thing) as the “solution”. There’s a chance it could help and that’s worth trying for, but maybe think of it more as one piece of a puzzle rather than the entire puzzle itself.