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luten

luten

work, love, and learn
Joined
Feb 25, 2021
Messages
310
How was your day today, and what did you do today?



Spent most of the day at the office. I finally realized that my work will keep me going, that is what I enjoy most. I will have to do it while having chronic pain, there is no other way for me to recover. I feel good at work, it gives my life purpose. When I am alone at my apartment, that is when I feel like I have no purpose, and feel like that I am losing, as the clock ticks away my life. I like being busy, even while in pain.

There is absolutely nothing else that I can do to rescue myself.


wolf
 
BlankUser

BlankUser

Specialist
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
355
I like your posts/threads.
My days are just ups and downs... Yesterday was a good day, I went to the gym, it made me feel good. Today I was planning to go to the gym, but some bad things happened and it made me feel very anxious and awful. I cried, I punched and destroyed things, and I feel really suicidal. I feel devastated. I try, I do try to recover, but it takes so much effort and the reward is so little. I hope tomorrow will be a better day. I think at this stage, life is all about a distraction.
 
luten

luten

work, love, and learn
Joined
Feb 25, 2021
Messages
310
BlankUser said:
I like your posts/threads.
My days are just ups and downs... Yesterday was a good day, I went to the gym, it made me feel good. Today I was planning to go to the gym, but some bad things happened and it made me feel very anxious and awful. I cried, I punched and destroyed things, and I feel really suicidal. I feel devastated. I try, I do try to recover, but it takes so much effort and the reward is so little. I hope tomorrow will be a better day. I think at this stage, life is all about a distraction.

I am sorry that you had bad day.
Going to the gym is excellent for your mental health, you should keep doing it.

I remind myself of the good days everyday, therefore I cannot justify suicide, because I had good days while being a train wreck, and I want to experience that life again, because it was excellent, even with the disabling pain.


We must find not only purpose, but enjoy our purpose in life, we must have a good time, and not wait for circumstances to change before we do so, because it might not happen.
 
GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Average ctb enjoyer
Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
3,628
Fast-forwarding time as usual, took some small steps to brush up on my Spanish and did a little strength training (incline, dl, pull-ups). I learned that apparently fewer sets than I am currently doing are fine, so I'll decrease the amounts of sets.
 
luten

luten

work, love, and learn
Joined
Feb 25, 2021
Messages
310
luten said:
I am sorry that you had bad day.
Going to the gym is excellent for your mental health, you should keep doing it.

I remind myself of the good days everyday, therefore I cannot justify suicide, because I had good days while being a train wreck, and I want to experience that life again, because it was excellent, even with the disabling pain.


We must find not only purpose, but enjoy our purpose in life, we must have a good time, and not wait for circumstances to change before we do so, because it might not happen.
Screenshot 2021-06-07 at 18.25.42.png
 
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Largeletters

Largeletters

Cursed
Joined
Jan 21, 2020
Messages
300
luten said:
There is absolutely nothing else that I can do to rescue myself.
I am very sorry you feel this way... I too feel this way about myself, mentally.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Living dead girl
Joined
Sep 24, 2020
Messages
1,806
I visited the cemetery today, I liked how peaceful it was. I don’t really do much at the moment, I spend most of the time just overthinking everything and just looking forward to sleep. I guess life is just waiting around to die really, thats all there is to it. Everything we do has no purpose apart from passing the time.
 
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restforeternity

restforeternity

Student
Joined
Feb 17, 2019
Messages
119
Today is the same as any work week, running in a hamster wheel, feeling like I'm really going no where despite the mobility nature of my job. Looking forward for my pay cheque, the next bill to pay and mouths to feed in the household. I don't have a lot going on for me other than waiting for my my kids to grow. I'm pretty sure many of you are wondering why on earth would I be doing in a place I'm in.
 
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minamin

minamin

New Member
Joined
Jun 3, 2021
Messages
4
Woke up around 9 which I’m happy about because I’ve been sleeping in so much recently And did work all morning/afternoon, but then a huge storm hit and I just stood in my front doorway and watched it happen. There’s something so super calming about rainfall. So I think today was... (shock) an OK day...?! Wow.
 
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W

whywere

Enlightened
Joined
Jun 26, 2020
Messages
1,059
minamin said:
Woke up around 9 which I’m happy about because I’ve been sleeping in so much recently And did work all morning/afternoon, but then a huge storm hit and I just stood in my front doorway and watched it happen. There’s something so super calming about rainfall. So I think today was... (shock) an OK day...?! Wow.
WOW, another new global family member!!! WELCOME to Sanctioned Suicide and our family. It is great having you with everyone here, as all of the folks here are the most loving and caring group one could ever hope to find, now add in lots of empathy, understanding, kindness, and support and a picture perfect group of the finest people on Earth is the grand sum. Again, WELCOME !!!!! Walter ( yep real first name, 65 years young, gray hair and never phony) :heart::hug::happy:
 
listeningpost1379

listeningpost1379

enduring winter
Joined
Apr 20, 2019
Messages
92
panicked and slept :( i have to do something about my situation but im too scared
 
Nachos

Nachos

Have a good day but not too good, I'd be jealous
Joined
Jun 27, 2020
Messages
9
Spent the whole day heavily distracting myself and it's surprisingly been ok! It's the best day i've had in nearly a year. I'm currently learning how to walk normally again after being bedridden by a chronic illness for a few years and i'm making great progress, I was able to walk 4 blocks instead of the usual 2, big stuff.
I wish all my progress was this linear so I could stay motivated, I just can't get out of bed or eat most days because of the depression and physical illnesses. I read that you suffer from chronic pain as well and I truly understand how much more difficult that makes everything, i'm sorry. I wish you more bearable days.
 
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GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Average ctb enjoyer
Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
3,628
Tried my new strategy of only doing two sets per exercise in the gym. Today was pull-ups (neutral grip), bench (occupied so had to use DUMBbells) and row (I use the cable/wire machine-thingy, not bent over barbell). Drank a shake, ate clean. Maybe I'll stop looking like a pussy in two years.
 
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luten

luten

work, love, and learn
Joined
Feb 25, 2021
Messages
310
GenesAndEnvironment said:
Tried my new strategy of only doing two sets per exercise in the gym. Today was pull-ups (neutral grip), bench (occupied so had to use DUMBbells) and row (I use the cable/wire machine-thingy, not bent over barbell). Drank a shake, ate clean. Maybe I'll stop looking like a pussy in two years.

Sounds like you making progress in the right directions.
 
S

Sleepdrifter

Member
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
19
Struggling with drink and drugs atm. Supposed to be studying and looking for work but have been running on empty for too long. I have not slept at all in 48 hours.
 
luten

luten

work, love, and learn
Joined
Feb 25, 2021
Messages
310
Cleaned Apartment before I went out to the mall. Had huge headache, took 50mg tramadol, which did nothing. Turned out to be dehydration, headache vanished when I had 1.4L of green juice. Other than that, worked on my business' website, also got a new office, which is pay per use, they even serve your clients with coffee, tea, and free high speed internet. The office is located on the 1st floor of a luxury hotel. I am working on all of these "projects" while totally crippled, and I dont know how I am going to survive work, but I am doing it anyway.Also looking for a new car, car prices inflated drastically in the last few months. Hope your day was ok.
 
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Schöngeist

Schöngeist

Incompetent
Joined
Apr 28, 2021
Messages
435
luten said:
Spent most of the day at the office. I finally realized that my work will keep me going, that is what I enjoy most.
May I ask what your job is?
 
luten

luten

work, love, and learn
Joined
Feb 25, 2021
Messages
310
Schöngeist said:
I envy you. This seems like a pleasant job with good security and pay.

It is not bad. I am self-employed, and thus, I can pick my battles (projects). Sometimes I have to say no, as I cannot work full time, I have physical health problems.
 
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