• Welcome! SanctionedSuicide is a forum for the discussion of mental illness and suicide. Please read our rules and our Principles.
    If you are in need of immediate support, please call the Samaritans hotline at (877) 870-4673, or check our recovery resources.

deflationary

deflationary

Fussy exister. Living in the epilogue
Mar 11, 2020
538
Nothing can be as bad as the beginning of last year for me, but 2022 is making a valiant effort nonetheless. I'm just drifting along aimlessly and it's pretty much always some level of unpleasant to be conscious.
 
paulstrong

paulstrong

Enlightened
May 5, 2020
1,040
Bittersweet. I am sad that things didn't work out well but I am happy that I will be leaving this world soon. I gave life a good shot though. I made it to 38 and not all of it was terrible although I can't sugar coat the pain either. I just want to say, if you still see any kind of hope for a good life, give it a go. You don't all have to end up like me. Good luck!
 
Chaestergram

Chaestergram

Free spirit
Nov 24, 2021
82
Actually good, a bit too slow to my licking as I have project but since I didn’t had any specific expectations I’m content with this beginning of the year.
 
Thequietone

Thequietone

Member
Dec 4, 2021
36
Only one week passed, and for me, it's already shittier than last year. I have felt despair and pain non stop.
At this point it is clear that it's going to be the worst year ever. That can change if I ctb successfully.
The first day of 2022 I signed into EXIT and planned my funeral and suicide.

It was hard for me to go to work again and having to wake up early.

I'm tired and have no motivation. I do a lot of suicide research and tomorrow I will talk with my therapist again but of course I don't tell him that I have active thoughts only passive.

The thing is my life in general is alright but I don't fit in and get overwhelmed of it.
 
xoxo13

xoxo13

Member
Jan 9, 2022
9
it’s felt numbing, days have blurred together. COVID + at the moment but rly mild symptoms (i was p much isolating before the + anyway lol) ~ exhausted from faking like i have resolutions or intentions for the year other than figuring out if/how to ctb & do the best i can to make my loved ones feel loved regardless
 
C

Crocodiledundee

Member
Jan 9, 2022
17
As bad as 2021, kinda wish I had a cat, still smoking a ton of cigarettes, wish things were different and I could go back in time...
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: AverageFanEnjoyer
A

anxious_depressive

tired
Dec 21, 2021
15
Much shittier than I anticipated. I miss my cat so fucking much and it hurts so bad, all I want to do is give her one more forehead kiss. Okay and a hug, too. So alone in this world now, I'm surprised I haven't gone through with it yet.
I understand you.

Our pets become close friends. Their death is very difficult to accept.
The only consolation is that they no longer experience pain and suffering.
 
Last edited:
AverageFanEnjoyer

AverageFanEnjoyer

The Hated One
Sep 26, 2021
1,939
I understand you.

Our pets become close friends. Their death is very difficult to accept.
The only consolation is that they no longer experience pain and suffering.
Pet death is one of the worst things that can happen.

I had a cat that basically grew up with me. Born in the same year. She died in 2017. I was the last person that she saw before dying. I saw her lying dead. I think I cried for one hour and a half after. For one week I couldn't really sleep because I kept having in my mind that image with her lying there dead. It was difficult to recover from it. It's awful, but as you said, they no longer have to experience suffering after.
 
B

Blue_mist

Member
Apr 14, 2021
88
Miserable darker than ever, no one wants to hire me even as janitor because i don't have good references. My case worker is giving up on me and my psychiatrist put me on Trintellix 2 days before new year and I've been doing nothing but throwing up because of this medication.
 
A

anxious_depressive

tired
Dec 21, 2021
15
Pet death is one of the worst things that can happen.

I had a cat that basically grew up with me. Born in the same year. She died in 2017. I was the last person that she saw before dying. I saw her lying dead. I think I cried for one hour and a half after. For one week I couldn't really sleep because I kept having in my mind that image with her lying there dead. It was difficult to recover from it. It's awful, but as you said, they no longer have to experience suffering after.
It's so painful and sad.😔
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: AverageFanEnjoyer
U

Unicornsrnot4dislife

Not meant for this world…….
Nov 12, 2021
50
Another year, same stuff. I feel my depressing sinking in .....
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: AverageFanEnjoyer
X

xrosex

Member
Dec 21, 2021
18
Loada crap, knowing I can ctb in future helps. I want to try and see how things go this year and the next but if by end of 2023 things not improving then I be saying goodbye to ya’ll. i literally speak to no one part from my kids and now on this forum and no family or friends who I have connection with, no one has wished me happy new year ha, fuck em. Still…. hoping this year is better but I know it will potentially be worse for me cos am weak xx
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: AverageFanEnjoyer
Funkytown

Funkytown

I don't know why I run away
May 6, 2021
24
It kicked off with me having my usual end-of-the-year-bouts of depression (maybe even worse) and I don't expect it to change much for the rest of the year. I know my life's gonna change due to circumstances but I have no expectations for the near or far future, I simply wish I could feel calmness for an extended period of time.​
 
Sprite_Geist

Sprite_Geist

NULL
May 27, 2020
1,224
It is virtually the same as any previous year - so far. Many people celebrated Christmas and wished each other a happy new year. But of course no one really practiced what they preached. I am dealing with people who have went back to being horrible after all of their celebrating finished.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: AverageFanEnjoyer
stygal

stygal

.
Oct 29, 2020
1,700
Better than 2021 already...but still a long way to go to feel completely satisfied with my life. Might never reach that point but who knows.

At least I got a goal to work towards nowadays.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: AverageFanEnjoyer
ncmxm

ncmxm

Member
Jun 9, 2021
81
Rn I'm feeling even worse than in 2021 and wishing I'd ctbed when I wanted to in 2021

It'll probably pass but rn I feel like shit and hate the year so far

Fucking hate my mother for not aborting me, if she loved me she would have aborted me
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: AverageFanEnjoyer
Josuyo

Josuyo

No, I do not like life, take it away please
Oct 17, 2021
68
Defo ready to die. Things just feel awful and I wish I ctb when I was happy and before everything's went to hell (per usual)
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: AverageFanEnjoyer