• Hey Visitor,

    In light of recent events, all community members in the US should reach out to their representative in regards to the Stop Online Suicide Assistance Forums Act that has been introduced in congress. This bill, if passed, could criminalize this community and hold it liable for simply hosting information.

    You should be able to locate and contact your represenative by going to this website. You can also contact Lori Trahan, the one spearheading this bill by calling her office at (202) 225-3411 or by leaving a message on the contact form on her site.

    One of the best ways to combat this is to make your voice heard. We're not political activists, but we made this notice to let you know that you do have a voice and that you do have representives that represent you in congress.
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greatscott8888

Member
Nov 15, 2022
6
I feel like there's no way out for me. I have autism and social anxiety, I can't make friends or talk to people at all. I have no particular desire to pursue any career, no interests or passions, I have no degrees or educational path, and I don't have the motivation or care to improve my life or do anything about it. I get angry easily and I'll get pissed at the drop of a hat, which ruins my mood and makes me lash out in anger. I

'm just lazy and it's much easier to bitch and complain and I don't have the energy or attention span to focus on anything or improve in any field to get good at it. I just literally can't get myself to do anything. I can't even get around to spending whatever money I have left to try and get SN or some other gear to CTB, or even to just hang myself.

I've been waiting since I think June or July for a psychological evaluation but Canadian health services are a fucking joke, and I don't have the money to pay. My lack of motivation and drive is especially awful, I broke my hand after punching a mirror when having a mental breakdown and didn't get a checkup after two weeks because I didn't want to go to the hospital in person (they wouldn't pick up the phone to set up an appointment because again it's all pathetic waste of taxpayer money). With my hand being broken I can't return to work because I can't use it and I have no qualifications or ability to look for another because it requires work and effort, and just a lazy fatass. "Try doing something small, take a few moments to clean your room or go outside or something small". Not gonna happen. Why? Idk, I just won't. "Try meditating". Nope.

I don't know what the hell to do at this point. For some reason I still exist, but I just don't do anything besides sit at home. Idk if it's because being a miserable piece of shit is familiar but to me it doesn't matter anyway. If i can just get the energy to hang myself or research a source for SN or some other method then I won't have to deal with this anymore.

Anyone else feel like this? Like the whole world being so far out of reach but wanting to put any effort into doing anything to get there?
 
-Raven's Night-

-Raven's Night-

wanna join the club 27
Jan 31, 2020
38
Oh my, reading your post makes me feel like seeing myself. I also have autism and feel exactly the same about... easily being angry... etc., seeing no way out rather than ctb... . So sorry you are going through this.
 
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LaVieEnRose

Arcanist
Jul 23, 2022
420
Also autistic and with devastating anxiety. Little wonder why we tend to be disproportionately represented in spaces like this.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: -Raven's Night-
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She dreams of eternal sleep
Sep 24, 2020
16,696
I certainly feel trapped in this existence, there is no reason as to why I still exist apart from the fact that I struggle to ctb and fear ctb potentially failing. It can certainly be awful and tiring feeling trapped in a life that just causes you to suffer, but I wish you the best. At least in my case I have definitely never been meant for this life in every single way.
 
OpheliasFlowers

OpheliasFlowers

Specialist
Apr 2, 2019
335
Same here. I have no energy or motivation to do anything. Not even daily personal hygiene (gross, I know) or eating or getting the medical attention and mental health help I need. Sometime I have very short bursts of motivation and will 'try' for literally maybe a day or two. But I can't sustain caring enough to continue trying, especially if/when any little thing occurs (and they ALWAYS do) that makes my attempts difficult in any way, or if I have to even deal with a scheduler who's rude...that'll end my burst of motivation/trying/hope/whatever right there.

I'm just too tired now to care anymore. Everything about life is too much effort, just too much bad shit and suffering and endless challenges for nothing in return.
 
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Sad_Sack

Experienced
Oct 3, 2022
255
I definitely feel trapped as well. I'm really sorry you are in this situation.