meetapple

meetapple

Specialist
Jun 3, 2021
338
I am trying to recover. I spend all my time ruminating and feeling bad about my interactions with people. It mainly involves how I should deal with my thoughts. Every time I go anywhere I carry an aura of shame formed by all my past lousy experiences with people. I have rude thoughts about other people like “shut up” or “bitch“ or whatever. I keep trying to figure out what I am doing wrong. It is just painful to have the feeling that other people think I am a bad person without being able to do anything about it.

I can’t recover when I am distracted by my problems. I have been told that people can’t read my thoughts and that I shouldn’t feel bad unless I am doing something to actually deprive someone of their rights. Is there anything I can do? I am starting to believe that it is impossible.
 
dreadpirateroberts69

dreadpirateroberts69

Member
Nov 4, 2021
36
Depression is a bitch and can make us think the shittiest things, even about the people we love. I know that's true in my case and I feel guilty for it every day. But in the end it's the way you treat others that makes you who you are, having bad thoughts sometimes doesn't necessarily make you a bad person. Having those thoughts and feelings still hurts though. A lot. I wish there was more that could be done about it too.
 
Pluto

Pluto

Faux human
Dec 27, 2020
399
Social anxiety causes us to falsely perceive that others dislike us, though it sometimes becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Medication and/or therapy may be beneficial as a part of recovery.

Highly negative 'intrusive thoughts' - including much worse ones than those you mention - are considered normal, except where they cause distress.

I can also recommend the work of Eckhart Tolle, as I likely would have been gone long ago without him. (link)
 
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