whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,484
I don't regret the time we spent talking but it's going to be tough if it happens. I'm 50% on 'recovery' and just joined the forum on a morbid whim. I've never been firm on killing myself, just as I am not on living.

I just want to get this off my chest.
 
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Angi

Experienced
Jan 4, 2022
263
I am sure this is going to be tough if it happens. You must have a great connection for them to tell you beforehand, though. This part makes me really happy for you!

When I complained about the pain of losing a friend on SS to suicide, I got the advice to grow some boundaries. While this is a difficult thing to do (and I am not sure the tone was meant kindly), I thought it was a very good plan.
 
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Smart No More

Visionary
May 5, 2021
2,476
Yeah, kind of comes with the territory unfortunately. Seen a couple of good people go since joining. Whilst I personally respect the choice and am glad they managed to go unhindered and more importantly, achieve relief from their suffering its always felt with some trepidation and empathetic sorrow. Once you make a connection its hard not to hope (perhaps selfishly) that they'll find a way to stick around.

I'm not sure I agree that avoiding making such connections is a must but on a case by case basis I can see why some would put up that boundary. It seems a bit sad to avoid connection whilst teetering at the precipice though. Isn't that many of us are here to do?.... Find those that can actually understand and feel heard and understood at that point where most people can't for whatever reason.

I was sad to say goodbye but also glad to have been there to do so. Bit of a headspinner in the moment but no regrets.

I think the fact we're not cheering them off goes unnoticed too as it isn't sensational enough to be noted in media. They only pick up on what can be seen their selective appraisals of the forum. The place isn't perfect but it's not the sum of only those accounts they cherry pick for click bait. It's a while other topic I'm know. Just pointing it out for the sake of doing so in a relevant place for any journalists reading the forum.
 
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Angi

Experienced
Jan 4, 2022
263
I'm not sure I agree that avoiding making such connections is a must but on a case by case basis I can see why some would put up that boundary. It seems a bit sad to avoid connection whilst teetering at the precipice.
If you read this suggestion in my post, I worded it poorly. (If you are disagreeing with someone else, I will be making a moot point now.) Connecting to people is among the few things I can still enjoy in this world and I refuse to let it go before I go. I am striving for the grey area between the extremes of loving people like they are not going to leave versus not connecting to people at all. I think there is a lot of space between those two, and I intend to keep my relationships there.

I was sad to say goodbye but also glad to have been there to do so.
I imagine. While I have not been there, I imagine being given the chance to say goodbye sounds tough but worth it.
 
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Smart No More

Visionary
May 5, 2021
2,476
If you read this suggestion in my post, I worded it poorly. (If you are disagreeing with someone else, I will be making a moot point now.) Connecting to people is among the few things I can still enjoy in this world and I refuse to let it go before I go. I am striving for the grey area between the extremes of loving people like they are not going to leave versus not connecting to people at all. I think there is a lot of space between those two, and I intend to keep my relationships there.


I imagine. While I have not been there, I imagine being given the chance to say goodbye sounds tough but worth it.
Yeah. I agree it's a sliding scale. I guess what I was ultimately saying is summed up by the sentiment of your last sentence. I also understand that some people just need to do what they have to for self preservation.

FWIW I wasn't disagreeing from a place of argument. I mean I was technically but not in any heated way. Purely logic and opinion based with no judgement involved. I have a tendency to expect people to assume that goes without saying when it generally doesn't. Probably more so when communicating in this format as text is always open to interpretation. No inflection, tone or body language to provide important subtle clues. 🙂
 
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Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,251
I don't regret the time we spent talking but it's going to be tough if it happens. I'm 50% on 'recovery' and just joined the forum on a morbid whim. I've never been firm on killing myself, just as I am not on living.

I just want to get this off my chest.
My friend too...

But being hit by a car made me realize that anybody can die at any time for any reason. The covid lockdown was an abomination. And not cherishing all our friends like we might lose them soon would be wrong to take them for granted. My first goodbye post traumatized me... I guess I'll wait until they make a farewell thread to freak out...
 
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makethepainstop

Wizard
Sep 16, 2022
656
That is inevitable here, as we are all suffering. Many ctb quickly some ctb later. But I have learned everything about or in life is temporary. Even the earth's sun will one day die. So let's enjoy our times and talks together. Love and peace to you my friend.
 
ColorlessTrees

ColorlessTrees

Stuck
Jan 4, 2022
130
I almost had this happen, but external factors kept becoming obstacles for them. Three times, to be exact. They’re forced to live now for other reasons, but they ditched me later over something stupid. It’s funny how that works.

Although it puts things in perspective and makes it easier to cherish them because you’re certain your time is limited. Discuss the things that interest you most before it’s too late, so you’re not wondering after they’re gone. But it’s got to be rough, especially if you’ve known them a while.

Eventually what you had becomes nice to think about, from time to time, when the edge has worn off. On the bright and perhaps twisted side, at least you've gotten a heads up.
 
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Mixo

Mixo

Surviving
Aug 2, 2020
763
There have been times I've cried over the possibility of losing certain people I've connected with here, certainly more times than I care to admit. It's one of the reasons I don't reach out to many people now, because it's not fun watching someone jump off the proverbial bridge of life into death, so to speak, even if their reasons are understandable. If it makes you feel any better, I'm of the opinion (however speculative it is) that 90%+ of users here will not CTB, or that those who follow through are in the minority. This place doesn't just serve as a bus stop between strangers where interactions are strictly transactional i.e. people come for CTB info and leave. They interact, they socialize, they bond - the sincerity of the interactions notwithstanding - and that understanding alone can delay things for quite a bit longer than you might think.