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Lexi92

Member
Aug 14, 2018
7
I am 26 years old and I am trying to change career paths, but I already know that I failed my final exams. I am sick of my family always screaming at me when I fail. I never get any encouragement, just constantly yelled at and put down when I fail at anything in life. I should get my final grades back by either the end of this week or early next week, but I want a way out that works if I don't pass. I know it sounds immature, but I am 100% sure I want to kill myself if I do not pass these courses. I have failed them before and this is the second time that I am taking them, and if I fail I know how I will be treated. I'm just sick of it, it's been like this my entire life and I don't want to put myself through the constant pressure anymore. I've been making myself sick for the past three months over constant stress. I have been cutting for at least 14 years now and tried to stop this year, but all I can think about is harming myself or killing myself because I think I failed yet again. I just don't know what to do, because I always back out because I really am afraid of dying, but I don't want to live like this. Yes, I do live with my family and I can't escape their nagging when they get on my case like this. I also can't afford to move out, especially on my own as I do not have a job and hardly any life skills.
 
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Lexi92

Member
Aug 14, 2018
7
Good question, I forgot to ask that in my post. I guess I was too upset and just forgot to ask how I should go about it.
 
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Lexi92

Member
Aug 14, 2018
7
Thanks for the support. I always thought I'd be worried I'd back out at the last second after hanging. Or I'd just be struggling and realize I actually don't want to die, but I know I can't live like this. My secret fantasy has always been to have someone help me, an "assisted suicide" sort of way, I guess. Someone who will force me to do it even if I wanted to back out, because I've been feeling suicidal for most of my life and I know the urge to kill myself would return again, anyways.
 
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Lexi92

Member
Aug 14, 2018
7
Failing my courses isn't the only thing wrong with my life. Because I know that would sound silly to most. It's just been a snowball of events the past few years, and I've hardly felt any real happiness.
 
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Lexi92

Member
Aug 14, 2018
7
Thank you. And thank you for the support. I know that I'm not special, though. A lot of people are suffering, some people even in the same situation as me, I assume.
 
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Lexi92

Member
Aug 14, 2018
7
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There is a partner thread. There is a chance you can carry out your secret fantasy.

A week is a pretty tight deadline though.
thanks, i’ll look into it. I’m very new here, could I have a link.
 
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