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Rex

Rex

Lonely af
May 25, 2018
169
So I ordered N, it arrived no issues but I slipped up and told someone, which happened to turn out to be a good thing, I was asked if I could keep myself safe and I legit said no... so I got sent into a ward, it was a nice place considering, that is why I haven't been on much.

I'm actually going back to the same ward because I lied to the doctor to get out, but I have a follow up and I'll be being honest with them and telling them I want the help, because I do now have hope again that I can turn my life around.

For me, I need to recover from my depression and suicidal thoughts, some meds are helping but I need therapy too. We did some mindfulness in the ward and it legit helped me and I didn't think it would. I also need to recover from my drug addiction, which they can help with too. My home environment isn't the best, but is getting better. So I'm now in recovery to get better, or attempt to.

By no means has my suicidal thoughts stopped, but for the first time in about 5years, I actually feel I can get the help I need now they know I went through the trouble of getting N etc. I'm at home currently but as above, plan to admit myself back to the ward for 2-3weeks or maybe more until things settle at home and I've got a solid plan for recovery.

Yes it might implode some minds on here that there is a recovery tag, and holy shit... a mod or admin in recovery? Doesn't sound right does it, but it's the truth. If you check the introduce yourself sticky in off topic, I do state we're a PRO-CHOICE forum, not anti-life.

Just wanted to post what I've been up to and what I plan to do, I respect everyone's decision because i am pro-choice myself, if you believe help is no longer going to recover you, fair enough... if you think you can still get help, then also fair enough. The key is; I respect peoples choice.

It isn't going to be easy for me, I'm still going to be around and such, mainly after my ward stay and then people who know me well, will know me from discord which I will be on regardless.

Wish me luck friends, I didn't think recovery was possible for me again but hope has come back and I do believe I can seek the proper help now. I'm only in my late 20s. But on the flip side, I know it isn't going to get fixed over a few weeks, but I'm going to try my best and just be honest so I get the right help.

Thanks for listening to my story, I wasn't going to post about my recovery but after a few days, I thought why not, I'm allowed to; that's what the recovery tag is for.
 
DF90

DF90

Experienced
Mar 18, 2018
275
So, so proud of you Rex and happy that we'll get to have you around in our lives even longer. I wish you the best on your journey. It isn't an easy one, but I believe in you.

Hope is a crazy thing. I'll be walking alongside you in the journey to recovery, my friend. :)
 
J

Josh227

Member
Sep 15, 2018
38
Man why the fuck do you feel the need to defend your will to live/better prospects. Dont ever be ashamed. Not one person here truly wants to die, if there was a magic fix that could fix us, all of us will choose it.
 
throwaway123

throwaway123

Hell0
Aug 5, 2018
1,445
Somtimes I wish to be a "normal" person. I don't know what it feels like to be truly "happy" and I don't know what the purpose of continuing to live is but sometimes I desire to just be as ignorant as the rest of the world.


Good luck on your journey!
 
J

Josh227

Member
Sep 15, 2018
38
Somtimes I wish to be a "normal" person. I don't know what it feels like to be truly "happy" and I don't know what the purpose of continuing to live is but sometimes I desire to just be as ignorant as the rest of the world.


Good luck on your journey!

we all were normal once. No one was born like this. Life is beautiful and worth living if you remember far back enough. We are just victims of our own sadistic minds and circumstances.
 
MissLisa

MissLisa

Student
Sep 13, 2018
138
So I ordered N, it arrived no issues but I slipped up and told someone, which happened to turn out to be a good thing, I was asked if I could keep myself safe and I legit said no... so I got sent into a ward, it was a nice place considering, that is why I haven't been on much.

I'm actually going back to the same ward because I lied to the doctor to get out, but I have a follow up and I'll be being honest with them and telling them I want the help, because I do now have hope again that I can turn my life around.

For me, I need to recover from my depression and suicidal thoughts, some meds are helping but I need therapy too. We did some mindfulness in the ward and it legit helped me and I didn't think it would. I also need to recover from my drug addiction, which they can help with too. My home environment isn't the best, but is getting better. So I'm now in recovery to get better, or attempt to.

By no means has my suicidal thoughts stopped, but for the first time in about 5years, I actually feel I can get the help I need now they know I went through the trouble of getting N etc. I'm at home currently but as above, plan to admit myself back to the ward for 2-3weeks or maybe more until things settle at home and I've got a solid plan for recovery.

Yes it might implode some minds on here that there is a recovery tag, and holy shit... a mod or admin in recovery? Doesn't sound right does it, but it's the truth. If you check the introduce yourself sticky in off topic, I do state we're a PRO-CHOICE forum, not anti-life.

Just wanted to post what I've been up to and what I plan to do, I respect everyone's decision because i am pro-choice myself, if you believe help is no longer going to recover you, fair enough... if you think you can still get help, then also fair enough. The key is; I respect peoples choice.

It isn't going to be easy for me, I'm still going to be around and such, mainly after my ward stay and then people who know me well, will know me from discord which I will be on regardless.

Wish me luck friends, I didn't think recovery was possible for me again but hope has come back and I do believe I can seek the proper help now. I'm only in my late 20s. But on the flip side, I know it isn't going to get fixed over a few weeks, but I'm going to try my best and just be honest so I get the right help.

Thanks for listening to my story, I wasn't going to post about my recovery but after a few days, I thought why not, I'm allowed to; that's what the recovery tag is for.
That's fantastic! Good luck going forward
 
RM5998

RM5998

Sack of Meat
Sep 3, 2018
2,206
So I ordered N, it arrived no issues but I slipped up and told someone, which happened to turn out to be a good thing, I was asked if I could keep myself safe and I legit said no... so I got sent into a ward, it was a nice place considering, that is why I haven't been on much.

I'm actually going back to the same ward because I lied to the doctor to get out, but I have a follow up and I'll be being honest with them and telling them I want the help, because I do now have hope again that I can turn my life around.

For me, I need to recover from my depression and suicidal thoughts, some meds are helping but I need therapy too. We did some mindfulness in the ward and it legit helped me and I didn't think it would. I also need to recover from my drug addiction, which they can help with too. My home environment isn't the best, but is getting better. So I'm now in recovery to get better, or attempt to.

By no means has my suicidal thoughts stopped, but for the first time in about 5years, I actually feel I can get the help I need now they know I went through the trouble of getting N etc. I'm at home currently but as above, plan to admit myself back to the ward for 2-3weeks or maybe more until things settle at home and I've got a solid plan for recovery.

Yes it might implode some minds on here that there is a recovery tag, and holy shit... a mod or admin in recovery? Doesn't sound right does it, but it's the truth. If you check the introduce yourself sticky in off topic, I do state we're a PRO-CHOICE forum, not anti-life.

Just wanted to post what I've been up to and what I plan to do, I respect everyone's decision because i am pro-choice myself, if you believe help is no longer going to recover you, fair enough... if you think you can still get help, then also fair enough. The key is; I respect peoples choice.

It isn't going to be easy for me, I'm still going to be around and such, mainly after my ward stay and then people who know me well, will know me from discord which I will be on regardless.

Wish me luck friends, I didn't think recovery was possible for me again but hope has come back and I do believe I can seek the proper help now. I'm only in my late 20s. But on the flip side, I know it isn't going to get fixed over a few weeks, but I'm going to try my best and just be honest so I get the right help.

Thanks for listening to my story, I wasn't going to post about my recovery but after a few days, I thought why not, I'm allowed to; that's what the recovery tag is for.

Good luck on your journey Rex, I hope it goes as you want it to.
 
thetwilightzone

thetwilightzone

-
Jul 14, 2018
307
we all were normal once. No one was born like this. Life is beautiful and worth living if you remember far back enough. We are just victims of our own sadistic minds and circumstances.

What about life for people serving life sentences for crimes they didn't commit? Is their life beautiful?

Seems an awful lot like a pro-life post.

I'm not doubting that people can have a skewed view of reality because of their minds but for some...there is no hope.
 
DF90

DF90

Experienced
Mar 18, 2018
275
What about life for people serving life sentences for crimes they didn't commit? Is their life beautiful?

Seems an awful lot like a pro-life post.

I'm not doubting that people can have a skewed view of reality because of their minds but for some...there is no hope.

I don't read it as a pro life post. He stated "if you look far back enough" I read that as we haven't all been miserable our entire lives. At one point we enjoyed life, even if we were young. I know everyone interprets things differently though
 
MEoDP

MEoDP

Specialist
Sep 2, 2018
347
I myself may have stumbled across something good and may motivate me to try and succeed at life. A blogger I trust has released a video course that may help me build an online business in the future(if this was by a random person,I'd call snakeoil,but I have good reason to trust this particular blogger)so I don't have to work at a crushing 9-5 job for the rest of my life. (This isn't a get-rich quick scheme however,I'm aware I'll have to put in the work,I just don't know how and this video course should give me the necessary guidelines so I have a chance of achieving the dream)

The course is too expensive for a mere college student like me,but I've asked my mom if she could buy it on the release date for the both of us. (No,I've not told her I'm suicidal,that wouldn't help anything)
She seems genuinely interested,though I'll have to do the convincing in person. I sincerely see this as my one hope for recovery. If I cannot attain this and I'm forced to live a typical 9-5 life working a job I either hate or dislike,I'd rather do myself in.

Anyway,its good to hear your story @Rex ,I wish you luck. I do hope however that you don't turn into one of those pro-life morons should you succeed with recovery. Even if I successfully achieve a happy life,I will know for a fact that its not achievable for everyone.

CORRECTION: *is releasing*,not released. The blogger hasn't released his video course yet,just made the announcement that it'll be out around October.
 
Last edited:
MissLisa

MissLisa

Student
Sep 13, 2018
138
I myself may have stumbled across something good and may motivate me to try and succeed at life. A blogger I trust has released a video course that may help me build an online business in the future(if this was by a random person,I'd call snakeoil,but I have good reason to trust this particular blogger)so I don't have to work at a crushing 9-5 job for the rest of my life. (This isn't a get-rich quick scheme however,I'm aware I'll have to put in the work,I just don't know how and this video course should give me the necessary guidelines so I have a chance of achieving the dream)

The course is too expensive for a mere college student like me,but I've asked my mom if she could buy it on the release date for the both of us. (No,I've not told her I'm suicidal,that wouldn't help anything)
She seems genuinely interested,though I'll have to do the convincing in person. I sincerely see this as my one hope for recovery. If I cannot attain this and I'm forced to live a typical 9-5 life working a job I either hate or dislike,I'd rather do myself in.

Anyway,its good to hear your story @Rex ,I wish you luck. I do hope however that you don't turn into one of those pro-life morons should you succeed with recovery. Even if I successfully achieve a happy life,I will know for a fact that its not achievable for everyone.
Good luck
 
J

Josh227

Member
Sep 15, 2018
38
What about life for people serving life sentences for crimes they didn't commit? Is their life beautiful?

Seems an awful lot like a pro-life post.

I'm not doubting that people can have a skewed view of reality because of their minds but for some...there is no hope.

That has nothing to do with anything. Youre just twisting stuff.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Deafsn0w
J

Josh227

Member
Sep 15, 2018
38
How? Elaborate please

I'm trying to say that for some, life just sucks balls no matter how much they try and change their perspective.

yes thats why were here. I just miss being normal, and I related to his post. I remember being happy, but now I have a life sentence(depression, anxiety, chronic illness). You are agreeing with me. Dont be too defensive.
 
H

hunter_lewis

Specialist
Sep 17, 2018
335
So I ordered N, it arrived no issues but I slipped up and told someone, which happened to turn out to be a good thing, I was asked if I could keep myself safe and I legit said no... so I got sent into a ward, it was a nice place considering, that is why I haven't been on much.

I'm actually going back to the same ward because I lied to the doctor to get out, but I have a follow up and I'll be being honest with them and telling them I want the help, because I do now have hope again that I can turn my life around.

For me, I need to recover from my depression and suicidal thoughts, some meds are helping but I need therapy too. We did some mindfulness in the ward and it legit helped me and I didn't think it would. I also need to recover from my drug addiction, which they can help with too. My home environment isn't the best, but is getting better. So I'm now in recovery to get better, or attempt to.

By no means has my suicidal thoughts stopped, but for the first time in about 5years, I actually feel I can get the help I need now they know I went through the trouble of getting N etc. I'm at home currently but as above, plan to admit myself back to the ward for 2-3weeks or maybe more until things settle at home and I've got a solid plan for recovery.

Yes it might implode some minds on here that there is a recovery tag, and holy shit... a mod or admin in recovery? Doesn't sound right does it, but it's the truth. If you check the introduce yourself sticky in off topic, I do state we're a PRO-CHOICE forum, not anti-life.

Just wanted to post what I've been up to and what I plan to do, I respect everyone's decision because i am pro-choice myself, if you believe help is no longer going to recover you, fair enough... if you think you can still get help, then also fair enough. The key is; I respect peoples choice.

It isn't going to be easy for me, I'm still going to be around and such, mainly after my ward stay and then people who know me well, will know me from discord which I will be on regardless.

Wish me luck friends, I didn't think recovery was possible for me again but hope has come back and I do believe I can seek the proper help now. I'm only in my late 20s. But on the flip side, I know it isn't going to get fixed over a few weeks, but I'm going to try my best and just be honest so I get the right help.

Thanks for listening to my story, I wasn't going to post about my recovery but after a few days, I thought why not, I'm allowed to; that's what the recovery tag is for.

you sound like such a sweetie.
Good luck and hope you get better!
 
B

Ben

-
Sep 12, 2018
785
So I ordered N, it arrived no issues but I slipped up and told someone, which happened to turn out to be a good thing, I was asked if I could keep myself safe and I legit said no... so I got sent into a ward, it was a nice place considering, that is why I haven't been on much.

I'm actually going back to the same ward because I lied to the doctor to get out, but I have a follow up and I'll be being honest with them and telling them I want the help, because I do now have hope again that I can turn my life around.

For me, I need to recover from my depression and suicidal thoughts, some meds are helping but I need therapy too. We did some mindfulness in the ward and it legit helped me and I didn't think it would. I also need to recover from my drug addiction, which they can help with too. My home environment isn't the best, but is getting better. So I'm now in recovery to get better, or attempt to.

By no means has my suicidal thoughts stopped, but for the first time in about 5years, I actually feel I can get the help I need now they know I went through the trouble of getting N etc. I'm at home currently but as above, plan to admit myself back to the ward for 2-3weeks or maybe more until things settle at home and I've got a solid plan for recovery.

Yes it might implode some minds on here that there is a recovery tag, and holy shit... a mod or admin in recovery? Doesn't sound right does it, but it's the truth. If you check the introduce yourself sticky in off topic, I do state we're a PRO-CHOICE forum, not anti-life.

Just wanted to post what I've been up to and what I plan to do, I respect everyone's decision because i am pro-choice myself, if you believe help is no longer going to recover you, fair enough... if you think you can still get help, then also fair enough. The key is; I respect peoples choice.

It isn't going to be easy for me, I'm still going to be around and such, mainly after my ward stay and then people who know me well, will know me from discord which I will be on regardless.

Wish me luck friends, I didn't think recovery was possible for me again but hope has come back and I do believe I can seek the proper help now. I'm only in my late 20s. But on the flip side, I know it isn't going to get fixed over a few weeks, but I'm going to try my best and just be honest so I get the right help.

Thanks for listening to my story, I wasn't going to post about my recovery but after a few days, I thought why not, I'm allowed to; that's what the recovery tag is for.

Thank you for sharing your story. I feel the same as you. I encourage you to pursue recovery with everything you have in you, if you feel like death isn’t your only option anymore. I’m not going to ever tell a user they don’t have the right to die, but if you feel like you can get better, try!

Death is the ultimate release from the pain and suffering. If there was another option for me, I would pursue it as well.

I would also love to hear about the progression of your mental state, if you happen to make forward steps. Personally, it’s draining to be in mental anguish all the time. Hearing about positivity in somebodies life would be a fresh breath of air, for me anyway. The feeling of hope is nostalgic for me lol.
 
jaemus12

jaemus12

Earth’s Parasite
May 11, 2018
563
Good luck Rex.

I am pro-admin-life. Remember "with great power comes great responsibility"

Like other members said here: a Mod cannot die.

I'm just playing. I'm glad you're recovering :)
 
MortDeVivre

MortDeVivre

"If a battle cannot be won, do not fight it."
May 31, 2018
140
The staff is the organ of the forum, they shouldn't ctb anyway (just my opinion). If the admins die, the community dissipates
Not all staff should CTB, but being a part of it shouldn't prevent them from doing it. There just has to be someone to pick up the torch and recruit new colleagues if all the others kill themselves.