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Anarchy

Anarchy

Invisible anarchist
Jul 9, 2018
384
I'm not allowed to have a lock on my door. When I ask why, the answer's "just because" or "you can't".

Today, I woke up to find my sister in my room looking through my stuff. She woke me up. And she was in without my permission. I am still really angry about it.
My mum made out I'm overreacting. But it's my space. It's supposed to be a space where I get privacy, but instead my family completely disrespect that and think it's okay to walk in without asking or anything.
I find it extremely difficult to get to sleep. I should be asleep now.
Then my mum walked in later; she knocks sometimes but doesn't wait for any response, just walks in. She came in to ask if I wanted a drink. And to ask if I want to go out.
I barely ever go out, and never in the mornign, yet she still barged in to ask me that. And a drink? As if I want a drink in the morning when I should be asleep.
Even if I weren't asleep, it's still incredibly disrespectful. From my perspective, it's like a neighbour who has spare keys to your house just walking in because they want to tell you something.
They always say it's not a big deal - well I don't care that they are indifferent of how I feel about them walking in my room; I'm bothered by it.
I don't even have a private space of my own. They walk in as if it's just another room. I need to move out.
 
M

mwu14

Member
Apr 21, 2018
53
Is it at all possible to start saving up so you can move out when you turn 18? They're not going to change and this kind of dynamic only gets worse.
 
Anarchy

Anarchy

Invisible anarchist
Jul 9, 2018
384
No, not possible, unfortunately. I've wanted to move out for years but there's just no way for me to get the money. I couldn't get a job because I'm clueless about it and I'm too amxious to do most jobs. I can't even speak most of the time. Besides, getting a job would probably be umbearable.
The only job I'd want to do at this stage is proofread other people's work, but I don't think there are many jobs like that.
If I live to 18 (which I don't plan to, but then I'm not sure how likely my suicide is), I plan to stop living there even though that will make me homeless.
 
BaconCheeseburger

BaconCheeseburger

Comfort-eating
Aug 4, 2018
689
This might sound a bit extreme, but I've got a hand-luggage sized suitcase in my room with a padlock on. Anything I don't want being found goes in there. It's such a shit fix, but when you're stuck for options it protects some stuff/gives you a chance to put one finger up at people who come in.
 
Anarchy

Anarchy

Invisible anarchist
Jul 9, 2018
384
Doesn't sound extreme at all; after all, everyone's entitled to privacy, especially in their own room.
Thankfully, I don't have anything that will make people suspicious if they went rooting through my stuff, but it would be nice to have a secure place to put my stuff.
My mum tends to put stuff away rather than look through my stuff, fortunately.
 
BaconCheeseburger

BaconCheeseburger

Comfort-eating
Aug 4, 2018
689
My mum 'puts away' and looks, I imagine. Would never get an admission from her that she does, but I know she has in the past and old habits die hard.

You wouldn't think I'm a bloody adult XD
 
GodKnows

GodKnows

What lies ahead
Jun 28, 2018
119
I'm 25 and I don't even have bedroom door. When I was in Poland I had my own room with a lock, although I had the best flatmates in the world who trusted me so much they didn't even lock their door when they were away. And then I broke my dick and ran back into this hell. I don't deserve to live anymore.
 
Anarchy

Anarchy

Invisible anarchist
Jul 9, 2018
384
My mum 'puts away' and looks, I imagine. Would never get an admission from her that she does, but I know she has in the past and old habits die hard.

You wouldn't think I'm a bloody adult XD
I'd hate to have my mum looking through my stuff - it must be really frustrating. Does she know about your being suicidal?
 
Anarchy

Anarchy

Invisible anarchist
Jul 9, 2018
384
I'm 25 and I don't even have bedroom door. When I was in Poland I had my own room with a lock, although I had the best flatmates in the world who trusted me so much they didn't even lock their door when they were away. And then I broke my dick and ran back into this hell. I don't deserve to live anymore.
I can't even imagine how annoying it must be to not have a door. How come you don't have one?
 
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GodKnows

GodKnows

What lies ahead
Jun 28, 2018
119
My dad removed them long ago. I basically have zero privacy in the apartment. My mom keeps my meds away so I don't abuse Xanax. I feel like I'm 10. But the fault is my own for returning here. Luckily I'll be dead by the end of the year.
 
BaconCheeseburger

BaconCheeseburger

Comfort-eating
Aug 4, 2018
689
I'd hate to have my mum looking through my stuff - it must be really frustrating. Does she know about your being suicidal?

Not as of recently. She knows a friend of mine died by suicide recently, and that I'm down as a result of that, but she doesn't need to know anything else. I used to tell people all the time when I was younger because I needed to feel like someone was listening, but with sites like this I can keep the finer details to myself (and you guys..)
 
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Anarchy

Anarchy

Invisible anarchist
Jul 9, 2018
384
Not as of recently. She knows a friend of mine died by suicide recently, and that I'm down as a result of that, but she doesn't need to know anything else. I used to tell people all the time when I was younger because I needed to feel like someone was listening, but with sites like this I can keep the finer details to myself (and you guys..)
It's so much harder when parents know. My parents barely leave me alone; they know but I'm not sure if they think I'm at immediate risk. I also told people because J wanted people to listen, but I'm glad that the effects of that are starting to wear off. I will probably feel triumphant when I finally end it, knowing that I mislead people to think that I'm not acutely suicidal.
 
GodKnows

GodKnows

What lies ahead
Jun 28, 2018
119
How old are you? I'm 24 and still feel like I'm living under my parents' rule.
I'm 25. I was finally free when I went to Erasmus, but mentally I was still under my parents rule. I had to inform them about what I eat, where I go, who am I hanging out with. I felt guilty after I got addicted to prostitutes and broke my dick. I had panic attacks and during one panic attack I booked a ride home and ran away. I felt relief, but became aware of how big the mistake it was after a few hours. I still regret that decision.
 
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GodKnows

GodKnows

What lies ahead
Jun 28, 2018
119
It's so much harder when parents know. My parents barely leave me alone; they know but I'm not sure if they think I'm at immediate risk. I also told people because J wanted people to listen, but I'm glad that the effects of that are starting to wear off. I will probably feel triumphant when I finally end it, knowing that I mislead people to think that I'm not acutely suicidal.
I was discharged from the mental hospital as non-suicidal, but not that anyone really cares. Life is cheap in this hellhole.
 
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GodKnows

GodKnows

What lies ahead
Jun 28, 2018
119
How long were you in for?
I was there for 7 days. They did some tests and talked to me. I talked to them about my penis injury and urethral swab, although I didn't mention escorts. I told them they were girls from Tinder. They don't need to know everything.
 
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GodKnows

GodKnows

What lies ahead
Jun 28, 2018
119
I saw from one of your previous posts. Sometimes with situations like that there is no right or wrong way to resolve it :(
Loneliness, homesickness and hypochondria kicked in and took control over me. The situation was not as bad as I thought, but I wasn't mentally strong to handle the situation. :C
 
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