• Welcome to SanctionedSuicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness and suicide. Please read our rules and our Principles.
    If you are in need of immediate support, please call the Samaritans hotline at (877) 870-4673, or check our recovery resources.

  • If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
SadGirl

SadGirl

Experienced
Joined
Mar 24, 2019
Messages
273
It will be a year since my fiancée and I broke up. after about 4.5 months, I got over the break, but then we started talking again, and it seems that everything came back to the surface. She's enjoying another one, I text her and she doesn't reply, or replies coldly. Now I have a huge emptiness in my heart, an immense pain, and again I will have to overcome it. Though I wish we could work out. I'm dreaming about her every day, and waking up extremely bad from anxiety. Just an outburst, it's been a while since I came here.
 
stalewater

stalewater

Student
Joined
Jul 11, 2021
Messages
168
Have you asked yourself if you still love her or if you love a person who doesn't exist anymore? Things change, people change, everything changes... it's painful to accept, but it's the reality...
 
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
1,139
Man I'm in te same situation, and i even go out and meet other cool good looking girls, or even woman let's say, but it's not the same.

Having sex with a new partner isn't helping much, not destroying me either, but Damm... We fukced up, they left,

Hope you fix your thing ...
dandan said:
Man I'm in te same situation, and i even go out and meet other cool good looking girls, or even woman let's say, but it's not the same.

Having sex with a new partner isn't helping much, not destroying me either, but Damm... We fukced up, they left,

Hope you fix your thing ...
I really don't have any advice or other thing to say, except it does sucks but life must go on even with the pain and such
 
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
1,139
dandan said:
Man I'm in te same situation, and i even go out and meet other cool good looking girls, or even woman let's say, but it's not the same.

Having sex with a new partner isn't helping much, not destroying me either, but Damm... We fukced up, they left,

Hope you fix your thing ...

I really don't have any advice or other thing to say, except it does sucks but life must go on even with the pain and such
Well it doesn't has to go on, there's catching the bus, and that's why we are here, but if not catching the bus , then deal with it?
 
Q

Quiet Desperation

Lonely wanderer
Joined
Dec 7, 2020
Messages
56
I understand how you feel very well, I'm in a similar situation. I'm sorry you're hurting.
 
  • Love
Reactions: SadGirl
Flippy

Flippy

Listening to the Air Conditioner Hum
Joined
Jan 5, 2020
Messages
692
There's only one way I know that will likely help, at least in my experience. Its easier said then done but one of those things that gets easier with practice. And its this: become absolutely, selfishly in love with the things you enjoy, the things that bring you fulfilment. Make them your top priority.

After a while, if anyone or anything gets in between you and what you love doing, they will feel like an unwelcome intrusion. This will keep your mind busy and the thoughts of your ex will fade. The ironic thing is, when you seem so aloof and independent, doing your thing as you please, people start to want your attention more.

When you figure out how to be ok with being on your own it becomes a "sellers market". Seriously, I never got so much attention from the people, when I honestly stopped caring about impressing them or "needing" them and focused on myself and my priorities. The thing is, I was too busy to care.

I'm not suggesting you become a misanthrope, just that there is plenty of upside to being single, at least for a while, with the right mindset. The difficulty unfortunately is getting into that mindset when you miss someone badly. So the best way is to maybe say to yourself that you are going to "learn that thing you always wanted to do". Set aside a time and commit to doing that for a short time at first and gradually increase it.

It took me way too long to figure that out, and maybe this is all super obvious stuff to some people. But it certainly worked for me. So I guess that's my advice, I hope it might be useful :-)
 
  • Love
Reactions: SadGirl
SadGirl

SadGirl

Experienced
Joined
Mar 24, 2019
Messages
273
Flippy said:
There's only one way I know that will likely help, at least in my experience. Its easier said then done but one of those things that gets easier with practice. And its this: become absolutely, selfishly in love with the things you enjoy, the things that bring you fulfilment. Make them your top priority.

After a while, if anyone or anything gets in between you and what you love doing, they will feel like an unwelcome intrusion. This will keep your mind busy and the thoughts of your ex will fade. The ironic thing is, when you seem so aloof and independent, doing your thing as you please, people start to want your attention more.

When you figure out how to be ok with being on your own it becomes a "sellers market". Seriously, I never got so much attention from the people, when I honestly stopped caring about impressing them or "needing" them and focused on myself and my priorities. The thing is, I was too busy to care.

I'm not suggesting you become a misanthrope, just that there is plenty of upside to being single, at least for a while, with the right mindset. The difficulty unfortunately is getting into that mindset when you miss someone badly. So the best way is to maybe say to yourself that you are going to "learn that thing you always wanted to do". Set aside a time and commit to doing that for a short time at first and gradually increase it.

It took me way too long to figure that out, and maybe this is all super obvious stuff to some people. But it certainly worked for me. So I guess that's my advice, I hope it might be useful :-)
Man, that helped me a lot and it still helps me, I think the same way, kind of creating an emotional barrier and just thinking about yourself! I mean, having more self-love and etc...thanks really.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Flippy and dandan
Flippy

Flippy

Listening to the Air Conditioner Hum
Joined
Jan 5, 2020
Messages
692
SadGirl said:
Man, that helped me a lot and it still helps me, I think the same way, kind of creating an emotional barrier and just thinking about yourself! I mean, having more self-love and etc...thanks really.
If it is something that helps you should definitely turn up the dial on it if you can! :-) It doest have to be a total emotional barrier and you don't totally have to think about yourself exclusively.

In my case (I was much more "well" than I am today) I was building up my skills and hobbies, reading, collecting records, working on my car and having cuddles with my cat. I thought, "I don't have the room for a relationship right now. It would get in the way of all the fun stuff I'm doing."

I guess, once you know, if you do get into a new relationship again, the worst case scenario is that, if it ends, you can just go back to doing the things you love again, only more so. :-)
 

Similar threads