rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
This is a long story but in conclusion i failed my N ctb attempt here i will tell you what happened and how i am now and the symptoms of N od

i weighed around 42kg and my height 5’4


i think on the 14th of august i took 25g of N from C in 60ml of water i followed the stat dose information about that is on my post about taking N if you want more details

so i took the N although i spilt like a tea spoon amount dont think that should affect it though because of my weight anyway then i passed out there was no pain at all i didnt even realise i had passed out. my mum came home about 5 hours later so it was enough time for me she called the ambulance and they told her to pump my chest to get air in

a week later i woke up in hospital

my family has told me i didnt breathe for 5 days, i was on life support, i was dead basically for 3 days and they put me in an induced coma even though i was also in my own coma

they put me on this machine thing that took my blood out and around 4 wheels that apparently “cleaned” my blood and sent it back into my body

i had a feeding tube and oxygen aswell as a catheter, cannulas everywhere in my hands and arms

and when the doctors were ready to pronounce me dead my eye slightly dilated and they checked my brain scan and the doctor had to get 5 other doctors to come and check what he was seeing because he couldn’t believe his eyes, he expected the scan to be all straight lines which wouldve meant my brain was dead but all the lines were all jagged up and down which meant i have absolutely no brain damage at all

when i woke up i lost my memory of about 1-2 weeks so i thought i was still on holiday and i didnt even remember that i took N i thought an accident happened or something so when the psychiatrists were asking me about it i denied everything i even told my mum i didnt do that because i seriously couldnt remember it i also couldnt talk for a day or 2 and after that i could barely speak and i stuttered but now my voice is back to normal

my eyes were completely bloodshot red, no white of my eyes was showing it was just blood red all over

not only that but i had the worst hallucinations because of the od, i would see things floating around and id hallucinate people, sound and touch

so i hallucinated my dentist i legit thought my dentist was in the hospital and i waved at him, then when they pulled the curtain back i saw the beach, and i hallucinated people calling my name and also when i closed my eyes and opened them i was in another room like by myself it was really scary and i couldnt get back to where i was before it took ages so maybe it was a dream or hallucinating i dont know


i kept trying to pull things out because i was so out of it i didnt realise i had a needle in my neck and i kept trying to pull it off because i thought it was a sticker

anyway i got my catheter removed and was taken to a different ward, before i was in ITU the intensive care unit

here i had my own room and a 1 to 1 nurse then the hallucinations got worse i think because i was more aware so i hallucinated 3 people, at first it was just one guy, not to mention this ward is just full of old people plus its the womens side but because of how real the hallucinations are i didnt even accept that it wasnt real, so he was making fun of me and calling me a b*tch and all of that, i couldn’t see only hear him and that continued, and then there was this girl who threatened to stab me every night, it was so scary because i would tell the nurse and she would tell me it was a hallucination and ofcourse i was still hallucinating so i didnt feel safe, one night i even hallucinated that someone got shot like 1000 times and was still alive, we dont even have guns in england but i believed it.

anyway so that was the hallucinations i got them to let my grandad stay overnight so i felt safer but they still continued until i was put on an antipsychotic which made them go away immediately

my eyes are almost back to normal now too

i was put on a diet of like yogurt, ice cream, jelly and anything soft for like 5 days then i could eat anything

they gave me blood clot injection in the tummy and took bloods from me alot

i needed help getting up and walking and help getting to the bathroom and undressing

i think it took just over a week for me to be able to get up and go to toilet without help and to walk confidently by myself and i got back home after around 2 weeks, everyone said it is a miracle

so thats my story i probably missed alot out so if you have any questions feel free to ask, but also after a couple days ill be leaving here because im just getting back on track with my life i mean i failed N theres nothing else i can do and i never want to be in hospital ever again being stabbed by needles isnt fun at all

also this is in no way a post to make people stop taking N or to discourage anyone i only made this post because it is so rare to hear someones N experience because usually it works so i wanted to tell people what its like to fail, but its a total miracle and probably wouldnt happen to anyone else but me because im unlucky like that or lucky if you want to see it that way



something i forgot to add the police took my phone to investigate it i only got it back when i got home however i was allowed my ipad in hospital they also took all my piercings out and took the jewellery and my note. 12 piercings i had i only have 3 now the rest closed up
 
Last edited:
theguineapigking

theguineapigking

Useless piece of trash
Dec 5, 2019
593
Hello. I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve been through. I am shocked that you survived. That seems to be really rare with N.

How do you feel about life now? You said that you plan to leave this forum, to get your life back on track. Are you sort of happy that the method failed(setting aside the horrible hospital experience)? Or do you only fear that you’ll end up back in there, should you try anything else?

Well, I really hope that everything goes as well as possible for you. Hopefully you’ll find meaning and happiness in life, and never have to go through this sort of traumatic experience again.

Thank you for posting and letting us know what’s up.

Best wishes.
 
Last edited:
lobster salad

lobster salad

overcooked :(
Aug 27, 2020
249
This is a long story but in conclusion i failed my N ctb attempt here i will tell you what happened and how i am now and the symptoms of N od

i weighed around 42kg and my height 5’4


i think on the 14th of august i took 25g of N from C in 60ml of water i followed the stat dose information about that is on my post about taking N if you want more details

so i took the N although i spilt like a tea spoon amount dont think that should affect it though because of my weight anyway then i passed out there was no pain at all i didnt even realise i had passed out. my mum came home about 5 hours later so it was enough time for me she called the ambulance and they told her to pump my chest to get air in

a week later i woke up in hospital

my family has told me i didnt breathe for 5 days, i was on life support, i was dead basically for 3 days and they put me in an induced coma even though i was also in my own coma

they put me on this machine thing that took my blood out and around 4 wheels that apparently “cleaned” my blood and sent it back into my body

i had a feeding tube and oxygen aswell as a catheter, cannulas everywhere in my hands and arms

and when the doctors were ready to pronounce me dead my eye slightly dilated and they checked my brain scan and the doctor had to get 5 other doctors to come and check what he was seeing because he couldn’t believe his eyes, he expected the scan to be all straight lines which wouldve meant my brain was dead but all the lines were all jagged up and down which meant i have absolutely no brain damage at all

when i woke up i lost my memory of about 1-2 weeks so i thought i was still on holiday and i didnt even remember that i took N i thought an accident happened or something so when the psychiatrists were asking me about it i denied everything i even told my mum i didnt do that because i seriously couldnt remember it i also couldnt talk for a day or 2 and after that i could barely speak and i stuttered but now my voice is back to normal

my eyes were completely bloodshot red, no white of my eyes was showing it was just blood red all over

not only that but i had the worst hallucinations because of the od, i would see things floating around and id hallucinate people, sound and touch

so i hallucinated my dentist i legit thought my dentist was in the hospital and i waved at him, then when they pulled the curtain back i saw the beach, and i hallucinated people calling my name and also when i closed my eyes and opened them i was in another room like by myself it was really scary and i couldnt get back to where i was before it took ages so maybe it was a dream or hallucinating i dont know


i kept trying to pull things out because i was so out of it i didnt realise i had a needle in my neck and i kept trying to pull it off because i thought it was a sticker

anyway i got my catheter removed and was taken to a different ward, before i was in ITU the intensive care unit

here i had my own room and a 1 to 1 nurse then the hallucinations got worse i think because i was more aware so i hallucinated 3 people, at first it was just one guy, not to mention this ward is just full of old people plus its the womens side but because of how real the hallucinations are i didnt even accept that it wasnt real, so he was making fun of me and calling me a b*tch and all of that, i couldn’t see only hear him and that continued, and then there was this girl who threatened to stab me every night, it was so scary because i would tell the nurse and she would tell me it was a hallucination and ofcourse i was still hallucinating so i didnt feel safe, one night i even hallucinated that someone got shot like 1000 times and was still alive, we dont even have guns in england but i believed it.

anyway so that was the hallucinations i got them to let my grandad stay overnight so i felt safer but they still continued until i was put on an antipsychotic which made them go away immediately

my eyes are almost back to normal now too

i was put on a diet of like yogurt, ice cream, jelly and anything soft for like 5 days then i could eat anything

they gave me blood clot injection in the tummy and took bloods from me alot

i needed help getting up and walking and help getting to the bathroom and undressing

i think it took just over a week for me to be able to get up and go to toilet without help and to walk confidently by myself and i got back home after around 2 weeks, everyone said it is a miracle

so thats my story i probably missed alot out so if you have any questions feel free to ask, but also after a couple days ill be leaving here because im just getting back on track with my life i mean i failed N theres nothing else i can do and i never want to be in hospital ever again being stabbed by needles isnt fun at all

also this is in no way a post to make people stop taking N or to discourage anyone i only made this post because it is so rare to hear someones N experience because usually it works so i wanted to tell people what its like to fail, but its a total miracle and probably wouldnt happen to anyone else but me because im unlucky like that or lucky if you want to see it that way


That’s scary... if I would try that method I would definitely overdose it, I really don’t wanna experience the same thing... sounds scary. Doesn’t it feel bad that your parents or family spent quite some money to get you back?
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
Hello. I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve been through. I am shocked that you survived. That seems to be really rare.

How do you feel about life now? You said you plan to leave this forum to get your life back on track. Are you sort of happy that the method failed(setting aside the horrible hospital visit)? Or do you only fear that you’ll end up back in there?

Well, I really hope that everything goes as well as possible for you. Hopefully you find meaning and happiness in life, and never have to go through this sort of traumatic experience again.

Thank you for posting and letting us know what’s up.

Best wishes.

thank you, i do feel better about life now really but also i fear ending up there again, and hearing about what i put my family through makes me so sad and i never want to do that to them again
 
D

Deleted member 14386

I am not advising anything
Jan 28, 2020
784
This is a rather distressing read, not only because of what happened, but also because I was banking on this as a last resort.
I once went into a coma over 3.6g of phenobarbitol (not pento), plus a lot of xanax, did you experience any loss of nerves? Like numbness in the fingers or toes?
Apologies for the question I am just very interested in what exactly went wrong, I have read c's N is up to 67% pure. idk if that could be a problem for future customers. Maybe this batch was bad?
Again I've no idea. Thank you for the report though, it's very valuable regardless of how distressing.
Hope your doing okay now.
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
That’s scary... if I would try that method I would definitely overdose it, I really don’t wanna experience the same thing... sounds scary. Doesn’t it feel bad that your parents or family spent quite some money to get you back?

NHS all free no money spent at all but i do feel extremely awful about what i put them through, and i did overdose it, just a miracle i dont know why im here because there was no way i shouldve survived it at all
This is a rather distressing read, not only because of what happened, but also because I was banking on this as a last resort.
I once went into a coma over 3.6g of phenobarbitol (not pento), plus a lot of xanax, did you experience any loss of nerves? Like numbness in the fingers or toes?
Apologies for the question I am just very interested in what exactly went wrong, I have read c's N is up to 67% pure. idk if that could be a problem for future customers. Maybe this batch was bad?
Again I've no idea. Thank you for the report though, it's very valuable regardless of how distressing.
Hope your doing okay now.

thank you, i didn’t experience any numbness because of the OD i did have numbness in my wrist but that’s because of all the needles that went in there its swollen and bruised but the feeling is coming back now

im not sure what happened either
 
Last edited:
D

Deleted member 14386

I am not advising anything
Jan 28, 2020
784
that's understandable, I had no memory of what I was like and that wasn't even N
Very odd I must say, not doubting you! Just....man, this shook my whole beliefs on c's N, maybe it's not as pure as previous. Who knows honestly.
edit: I hope your wrist gets better soon!
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
that's understandable, I had no memory of what I was like and that wasn't even N
Very odd I must say, not doubting you! Just....man, this shook my whole beliefs on c's N, maybe it's not as pure as previous. Who knows honestly.
edit: I hope your wrist gets better soon!

yeah mine too, i didnt get it tested so no idea of the purity i just counted on everyone elses tests its very odd, i dont know if its just because im young and healthy so i was able to be saved or if its because of the N we will never know
 
D

Deleted member 14386

I am not advising anything
Jan 28, 2020
784
Im convinced the longer meto regimen was required.
Why? That doesn't make sense.

5 hours without breathing should have done it, unless the n was impure. I had numb toes and fingers for 2 years, it was only a half hour before I was found. This doesn't make any sense unless it wasn't (at least) 40% pure (edit: even then...it's unlikely)

edit: What I can see happening is it was impure, or fake, to the point of making you black out (benzos and barbs do that on a prescribed dose), then being found. When I don't get is how you were still alive after 5 hours.

edit2: I've arrived to the conclusion that the N was either very diluted or not N at all. C's N may not be actual n, stranger things have happened on the darknet. A vendor fleeseing his customers is very common actually, tony78 ran a very long career as a LSD vendor, before ultimately exit-scamming all his customers for thousands of bitcoin. Trust no-one. Get everything tested. Do not finalize early. That's all I can think of. This is too confusing, maybe a tip-jar should be made with a highly regarded member here to send it off for testing? I would volunteer but again, trust no-one. I'm not quite sure what to do.
 
Last edited:
almost_dead

almost_dead

Arcanist
Aug 7, 2020
465
This is a long story but in conclusion i failed my N ctb attempt here i will tell you what happened and how i am now and the symptoms of N od

i weighed around 42kg and my height 5’4


i think on the 14th of august i took 25g of N from C in 60ml of water i followed the stat dose information about that is on my post about taking N if you want more details

so i took the N although i spilt like a tea spoon amount dont think that should affect it though because of my weight anyway then i passed out there was no pain at all i didnt even realise i had passed out. my mum came home about 5 hours later so it was enough time for me she called the ambulance and they told her to pump my chest to get air in

a week later i woke up in hospital

my family has told me i didnt breathe for 5 days, i was on life support, i was dead basically for 3 days and they put me in an induced coma even though i was also in my own coma

they put me on this machine thing that took my blood out and around 4 wheels that apparently “cleaned” my blood and sent it back into my body

i had a feeding tube and oxygen aswell as a catheter, cannulas everywhere in my hands and arms

and when the doctors were ready to pronounce me dead my eye slightly dilated and they checked my brain scan and the doctor had to get 5 other doctors to come and check what he was seeing because he couldn’t believe his eyes, he expected the scan to be all straight lines which wouldve meant my brain was dead but all the lines were all jagged up and down which meant i have absolutely no brain damage at all

when i woke up i lost my memory of about 1-2 weeks so i thought i was still on holiday and i didnt even remember that i took N i thought an accident happened or something so when the psychiatrists were asking me about it i denied everything i even told my mum i didnt do that because i seriously couldnt remember it i also couldnt talk for a day or 2 and after that i could barely speak and i stuttered but now my voice is back to normal

my eyes were completely bloodshot red, no white of my eyes was showing it was just blood red all over

not only that but i had the worst hallucinations because of the od, i would see things floating around and id hallucinate people, sound and touch

so i hallucinated my dentist i legit thought my dentist was in the hospital and i waved at him, then when they pulled the curtain back i saw the beach, and i hallucinated people calling my name and also when i closed my eyes and opened them i was in another room like by myself it was really scary and i couldnt get back to where i was before it took ages so maybe it was a dream or hallucinating i dont know


i kept trying to pull things out because i was so out of it i didnt realise i had a needle in my neck and i kept trying to pull it off because i thought it was a sticker

anyway i got my catheter removed and was taken to a different ward, before i was in ITU the intensive care unit

here i had my own room and a 1 to 1 nurse then the hallucinations got worse i think because i was more aware so i hallucinated 3 people, at first it was just one guy, not to mention this ward is just full of old people plus its the womens side but because of how real the hallucinations are i didnt even accept that it wasnt real, so he was making fun of me and calling me a b*tch and all of that, i couldn’t see only hear him and that continued, and then there was this girl who threatened to stab me every night, it was so scary because i would tell the nurse and she would tell me it was a hallucination and ofcourse i was still hallucinating so i didnt feel safe, one night i even hallucinated that someone got shot like 1000 times and was still alive, we dont even have guns in england but i believed it.

anyway so that was the hallucinations i got them to let my grandad stay overnight so i felt safer but they still continued until i was put on an antipsychotic which made them go away immediately

my eyes are almost back to normal now too

i was put on a diet of like yogurt, ice cream, jelly and anything soft for like 5 days then i could eat anything

they gave me blood clot injection in the tummy and took bloods from me alot

i needed help getting up and walking and help getting to the bathroom and undressing

i think it took just over a week for me to be able to get up and go to toilet without help and to walk confidently by myself and i got back home after around 2 weeks, everyone said it is a miracle

so thats my story i probably missed alot out so if you have any questions feel free to ask, but also after a couple days ill be leaving here because im just getting back on track with my life i mean i failed N theres nothing else i can do and i never want to be in hospital ever again being stabbed by needles isnt fun at all

also this is in no way a post to make people stop taking N or to discourage anyone i only made this post because it is so rare to hear someones N experience because usually it works so i wanted to tell people what its like to fail, but its a total miracle and probably wouldnt happen to anyone else but me because im unlucky like that or lucky if you want to see it that way



something i forgot to add the police took my phone to investigate it i only got it back when i got home however i was allowed my ipad in hospital they also took all my piercings out and took the jewellery and my note. 12 piercings i had i only have 3 now the rest closed up
how are you feeling now ?
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
how are you feeling now ?

now im feeling almost back to normal, i feel some gravity like heaviness because im still a bit weak so its hard to walk up and down stairs but walking is basically normal for me now, i feel very tired because of the tablets im on, and the antipsychotic im on makes me hungry so i eat aloott but i needed to put on weight so its ok ill be taken off it in a couple weeks

yeah so im basically back to normal now and i feel better than before i went to hospital like mentally
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
I'm intrigued to know why they didn't put you on a psych ward after your attempt? Did you have to talk them into not doing so? It's great that you're trying to get your life back on track, and I hope that works out for you.

not sure, they told me they didnt want me to go to psych ward and wanted me to be in a nicer place to recover i had alot of talks with psychiatrists and told them i’ll never do it again i basically convinced them that i felt better and had life plans when i get out of there, if i had been like im gonna do it again or seemed depressed theyd probably have put me in there also i said id go back to live with my grandparents who will be there 24/7 so they didnt worry i could do it again when i was back home, i had an appointment with a psychiatrist to check my tablets yesterday and they asked if counciling would help me and i told them no im ok just talking to friends and family i am suprised too that i wasnt put somewhere like that
 
D

Deleted member 14386

I am not advising anything
Jan 28, 2020
784
now im feeling almost back to normal, i feel some gravity like heaviness because im still a bit weak so its hard to walk up and down stairs but walking is basically normal for me now, i feel very tired because of the tablets im on, and the antipsychotic im on makes me hungry so i eat aloott but i needed to put on weight so its ok ill be taken off it in a couple weeks

yeah so im basically back to normal now and i feel better than before i went to hospital like mentally
Hope you don't mind if I ask, did you buy from em, whm or his private site? Also did you finalize (pay the bitcoin/money) before you received it or after? Thanks again for the post, this needs to be followed up before anyone else ends up in a potentially debilitating position.
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
Hope you don't mind if I ask, did you buy from em, whm or his private site? Also did you finalize (pay the bitcoin/money) before you received it or after? Thanks again for the post, this needs to be followed up before anyone else ends up in a potentially debilitating position.

no problem! i bought from his private site i dont remember if i paid right away or not actually my memory of that is a bit fuzzy because it was quite a while ago
 
D

Deleted member 14386

I am not advising anything
Jan 28, 2020
784
no problem it was most likely the transaction was in his hands anyway since it was the direct site, thank you for the report and answering my questions! This is very valuable

edit: Sorry I didn't explain about multisig bitcoin transactions (it was bitcoin right?), theres a thing that if 2 of 3 parties agree to the bitcoin transaction it goes through, it protects vendors from when the market is (inevitably) taken down, only the customer and vendor have to agree to release the transaction. If however this is on a private site there is no reason why the vendor could not possess 2 keys (the site and the vendors)
 
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A

Anonymoussn

Specialist
May 12, 2020
381
If I recall correctly didn't you also get SN a while back? Did you just conclude N would be a better option or did it never arrive or something? Sorry for all the questions. Just curious and you don't have to answer if you don't want to!
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
If I recall correctly didn't you also get SN a while back? Did you just conclude N would be a better option or did it never arrive or something? Sorry for all the questions. Just curious and you don't have to answer if you don't want to!

i thought N would be better but also the SN didnt arrive, it actually arrived a day after i took the N and my mum opened the package and either threw it away or the police took it im not sure
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us and I’m sorry to hear about all the needles and hallucinations - that doesn’t sound very comfortable at all! I wish you all the best moving forward, and I hope that life gets better for you! :heart::hug:

no problem and thank you :heart:
 
Eren

Eren

Si hablas español mándame un MP
Oct 27, 2018
1,076
Thanks for sharing your story,

I'm sorry that you had such a hard experience. it's really scary.

How are you feeling now? Will you have any sequels? (if I can ask)
 
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