marcusuk63

marcusuk63

CTB
Mar 24, 2019
1,737
Sorry for your experience , you should know it`s illegal to be in charge of your own life ! what pisses me off is when the police constantly say "we are concerned for you " when we all know they dont give a f***" they even text me at 12:30am saying they where worried for my well being and would i call them back ! I text them back saying , "I``m fine and in bed so no i wont be ringing you at this time in a morning". i was expecting a knock on the door but never heard anything back . They are just ticking boxes so they can say,"we offered all the support we could " at the inquest .
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
Sorry for your experience , you should know it`s illegal to be in charge of your own life ! what pisses me off is when the police constantly say "we are concerned for you " when we all know they dont give a f***" they even text me at 12:30am saying they where worried for my well being and would i call them back ! I text them back saying , "I``m fine and in bed so no i wont be ringing you at this time in a morning". i was expecting a knock on the door but never heard anything back . They are just ticking boxes so they can say,"we offered all the support we could " at the inquest .


i know it’s illegal getting N is also illegal but nothing happened to me and i havnt been in contact with the police personally, i only need my tablets reviewed and a check up in a couple weeks but thats it im sorry your experience was like that :mmm:
 
C

ceelo

-
May 18, 2020
298
i think police have sympathy in these cases because lets face it theres only one reason to get hold of N
 
  • Like
Reactions: Huntfish34
Incorrigible77777

Incorrigible77777

I was born human and I'm sorry for that. ——太宰 治
Jul 9, 2020
229
This is great, it proves theres no pain at all and you just go to sleep. Musta been something wrong with it, no one survives 25g of N, dignitas use 15g. At least with A its in sealed VET bottles so you know its legit.
I’m going to do the A, but after seeing this thread I begin to feel concerned... I ordered two bottles of N from A. My height/weight is 180cm/85kg. Not sure it could work.
Hi rikamonie. Happy to see you again! You're really brave. :-)
 
D

Deleted member 14386

I am not advising anything
Jan 28, 2020
784
i think police have sympathy in these cases because lets face it theres only one reason to get hold of N
Ahahah! Police in the UK? Sympathy?
I am dependent on benzos, if I don't take my dose I have a seizure. It will not stop them from taking all of these meds, not even leaving me enough to get through the night. They do their job and leave. Stop the nuisance (me), take him to jail, fill out the paperwork and go home.
Then I'm freaking out in a cell, screaming for help as I think bugs are under my skin biting me, I get beaten with a club until I stop.
Then I'm smashing my head on the sink/toilet, get sectioned and have to spend days trying to convince them I'm not crazy, but withdrawing from benzos. Family members are no help. Dr's are of no help. Police confiscate everything as well as blacklisting my address so all mail (which I told them I got my benzos from, stupidly) now goes through increased scrutiny. I had to move house to get a not blacklisted address.

No, they do not. They believe you are crazy and of harm to yourself and/or others, that's all it takes for you to be stripped of all human rights.
 
Last edited:
OnlyTheWind

OnlyTheWind

Serena / Meatball head
Aug 29, 2020
950
Sorry that you had to go through all that when it should have been so sure. I hope everything returns to normal for you without permanent damage.
 
  • Love
Reactions: rikamonie
ropebunny

ropebunny

*suicidal bunny noises*
Jul 26, 2020
196
Total loss for words, really. You endured hell over the past month. I'm happy you're in a more content place in your mind as of now. Hope it keeps up.
 
  • Love
Reactions: rikamonie
krsu

krsu

999
Jun 10, 2020
210
welcome back cutie, we missed you ♥️ thank you for this post too :3

I hope you don't ever have to experience this again ;w;
 
  • Love
Reactions: rikamonie
BipolarGuy

BipolarGuy

-
Aug 6, 2020
1,456
This is a long story but in conclusion i failed my N ctb attempt here i will tell you what happened and how i am now and the symptoms of N od

i weighed around 42kg and my height 5’4


i think on the 14th of august i took 25g of N from C in 60ml of water i followed the stat dose information about that is on my post about taking N if you want more details

so i took the N although i spilt like a tea spoon amount dont think that should affect it though because of my weight anyway then i passed out there was no pain at all i didnt even realise i had passed out. my mum came home about 5 hours later so it was enough time for me she called the ambulance and they told her to pump my chest to get air in

a week later i woke up in hospital

my family has told me i didnt breathe for 5 days, i was on life support, i was dead basically for 3 days and they put me in an induced coma even though i was also in my own coma

they put me on this machine thing that took my blood out and around 4 wheels that apparently “cleaned” my blood and sent it back into my body

i had a feeding tube and oxygen aswell as a catheter, cannulas everywhere in my hands and arms

and when the doctors were ready to pronounce me dead my eye slightly dilated and they checked my brain scan and the doctor had to get 5 other doctors to come and check what he was seeing because he couldn’t believe his eyes, he expected the scan to be all straight lines which wouldve meant my brain was dead but all the lines were all jagged up and down which meant i have absolutely no brain damage at all

when i woke up i lost my memory of about 1-2 weeks so i thought i was still on holiday and i didnt even remember that i took N i thought an accident happened or something so when the psychiatrists were asking me about it i denied everything i even told my mum i didnt do that because i seriously couldnt remember it i also couldnt talk for a day or 2 and after that i could barely speak and i stuttered but now my voice is back to normal

my eyes were completely bloodshot red, no white of my eyes was showing it was just blood red all over

not only that but i had the worst hallucinations because of the od, i would see things floating around and id hallucinate people, sound and touch

so i hallucinated my dentist i legit thought my dentist was in the hospital and i waved at him, then when they pulled the curtain back i saw the beach, and i hallucinated people calling my name and also when i closed my eyes and opened them i was in another room like by myself it was really scary and i couldnt get back to where i was before it took ages so maybe it was a dream or hallucinating i dont know


i kept trying to pull things out because i was so out of it i didnt realise i had a needle in my neck and i kept trying to pull it off because i thought it was a sticker

anyway i got my catheter removed and was taken to a different ward, before i was in ITU the intensive care unit

here i had my own room and a 1 to 1 nurse then the hallucinations got worse i think because i was more aware so i hallucinated 3 people, at first it was just one guy, not to mention this ward is just full of old people plus its the womens side but because of how real the hallucinations are i didnt even accept that it wasnt real, so he was making fun of me and calling me a b*tch and all of that, i couldn’t see only hear him and that continued, and then there was this girl who threatened to stab me every night, it was so scary because i would tell the nurse and she would tell me it was a hallucination and ofcourse i was still hallucinating so i didnt feel safe, one night i even hallucinated that someone got shot like 1000 times and was still alive, we dont even have guns in england but i believed it.

anyway so that was the hallucinations i got them to let my grandad stay overnight so i felt safer but they still continued until i was put on an antipsychotic which made them go away immediately

my eyes are almost back to normal now too

i was put on a diet of like yogurt, ice cream, jelly and anything soft for like 5 days then i could eat anything

they gave me blood clot injection in the tummy and took bloods from me alot

i needed help getting up and walking and help getting to the bathroom and undressing

i think it took just over a week for me to be able to get up and go to toilet without help and to walk confidently by myself and i got back home after around 2 weeks, everyone said it is a miracle

so thats my story i probably missed alot out so if you have any questions feel free to ask, but also after a couple days ill be leaving here because im just getting back on track with my life i mean i failed N theres nothing else i can do and i never want to be in hospital ever again being stabbed by needles isnt fun at all

also this is in no way a post to make people stop taking N or to discourage anyone i only made this post because it is so rare to hear someones N experience because usually it works so i wanted to tell people what its like to fail, but its a total miracle and probably wouldnt happen to anyone else but me because im unlucky like that or lucky if you want to see it that way



something i forgot to add the police took my phone to investigate it i only got it back when i got home however i was allowed my ipad in hospital they also took all my piercings out and took the jewellery and my note. 12 piercings i had i only have 3 now the rest closed up

So why did it actually not work?
 
krsu

krsu

999
Jun 10, 2020
210
missed u too :heart:


i have no idea no one really knows even the doctors

I've heard that it could be the dosage, there's been a lot of misconceptions about how large of a dose of n will actually kill someone and the details arent completely out there right now
 
  • Like
Reactions: Huntfish34
Emily_Numb

Emily_Numb

Wizard
Jan 14, 2020
657
There’s no way on earth this was pure enough to work and possibly not even N because you’d be dead if it was. I still can’t get my head around you taking it and not having medical intervention for 5 hours until your Mum got home and found you. That for me says it definitely wasn’t N.

This entire post should serve as a warning to anyone buying and drugs off the internet. You MUST get them tested. There are plenty of free services in the UK to send a small amount of the drugs to for laboratory testing. WEDINOS is a good service. Just google it.
 
krsu

krsu

999
Jun 10, 2020
210
There’s no way on earth this was pure enough to work and possibly not even N because you’d be dead if it was. I still can’t get my head around you taking it and not having medical intervention for 5 hours until your Mum got home and found you. That for me says it definitely wasn’t N.

This entire post should serve as a warning to anyone buying and drugs off the internet. You MUST get them tested. There are plenty of free services in the UK to send a small amount of the drugs to for laboratory testing. WEDINOS is a good service. Just google it.
it definitely was N and the doctors knew that, it might not have been the most potent but, There's been lots of instances of N not working on people because the dosages are so differentiating per person
 
D

Deleted member 14386

I am not advising anything
Jan 28, 2020
784
it definitely was N and the doctors knew that, it might not have been the most potent but, There's been lots of instances of N not working on people because the dosages are so differentiating per person
If you don't mind me asking just one more question. How did the Dr's know? It would have required a gas chromatography-mass spectrometry (GCMS) on the blood (to find out the amounts in the blood and therefore the potency, right?), this is rarely carried out unless in an autopsy I think. Just pure speculation but I'm wondering if not for GCMS then how did they know? It's very expensive.
 
bov

bov

Specialist
Aug 26, 2020
375
This is great, it proves theres no pain at all and you just go to sleep. Musta been something wrong with it, no one survives 25g of N, dignitas use 15g. At least with A its in sealed VET bottles so you know its legit.
Just out of curiosity, how hard would it be to fabricate a Vet label and put some junk product in a sealed bottle? Just a label isn’t enough peace of mind for me
 
a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,832
I'm sorry for what happened to you.

All in all, this is very reassuring because it shows that surviving N can be relatively harmless. You passed out within a short time and had you not been found, you would have died.

I hope you get back to 100% soon.
 
  • Love
Reactions: rikamonie and krsu
krsu

krsu

999
Jun 10, 2020
210
If you don't mind me asking just one more question. How did the Dr's know? It would have required a gas chromatography-mass spectrometry (GCMS) on the blood (to find out the amounts in the blood and therefore the potency, right?), this is rarely carried out unless in an autopsy I think. Just pure speculation but I'm wondering if not for GCMS then how did they know? It's very expensive.
I'll have to leave that to @rikamonie to answer but from what I remember hearing I think they found the Bottle/container of N
I'm sorry for what happened to you.

All in all, this is very reassuring because it shows that surviving N can be relatively harmless. You passed out within a short time and had you not been found, you would have died.

I hope you get back to 100% soon.
Yeah I agree I honestly don't think she would have woken up if not been found
 
  • Love
Reactions: rikamonie
a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,832
To those saying it must not have been pure; that might well be true. C could have started to lower the concentration. Get your N tested.

That said, there are a small percentage of cases where it takes longer than five hours for death to occur, so we can not know what the reason for her surviving for such a long time was.
Why? That doesn't make sense.

5 hours without breathing should have done it, unless the n was impure. I had numb toes and fingers for 2 years, it was only a half hour before I was found. This doesn't make any sense unless it wasn't (at least) 40% pure (edit: even then...it's unlikely)

edit: What I can see happening is it was impure, or fake, to the point of making you black out (benzos and barbs do that on a prescribed dose), then being found. When I don't get is how you were still alive after 5 hours.

edit2: I've arrived to the conclusion that the N was either very diluted or not N at all. C's N may not be actual n, stranger things have happened on the darknet. A vendor fleeseing his customers is very common actually, tony78 ran a very long career as a LSD vendor, before ultimately exit-scamming all his customers for thousands of bitcoin. Trust no-one. Get everything tested. Do not finalize early. That's all I can think of. This is too confusing, maybe a tip-jar should be made with a highly regarded member here to send it off for testing? I would volunteer but again, trust no-one. I'm not quite sure what to do.
It has been tested by several members, but that was last year. The results were 60-70% purity.
 
Last edited:
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
There’s no way on earth this was pure enough to work and possibly not even N because you’d be dead if it was. I still can’t get my head around you taking it and not having medical intervention for 5 hours until your Mum got home and found you. That for me says it definitely wasn’t N.

This entire post should serve as a warning to anyone buying and drugs off the internet. You MUST get them tested. There are plenty of free services in the UK to send a small amount of the drugs to for laboratory testing. WEDINOS is a good service. Just google it.

it was N because i was tested and thats what showed up in me they tested for everything every drug i have rhe paperwork for it
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
I'm sorry for what happened to you.

All in all, this is very reassuring because it shows that surviving N can be relatively harmless. You passed out within a short time and had you not been found, you would have died.

I hope you get back to 100% soon.

surviving N is definitely not harmless please dont take my experience as normal my case is extremely rare usually you’d be brain dead its a miracle im completely fine
 
D

Deleted member 14386

I am not advising anything
Jan 28, 2020
784
I'm sorry for what happened to you.

All in all, this is very reassuring because it shows that surviving N can be relatively harmless. You passed out within a short time and had you not been found, you would have died.

I hope you get back to 100% soon.
This is very bad info to spread. Barbs (*can) cause loss of oxygen to the brain and nerve systems. It is far from harmless, it's why they were replaced by benzos.
Anyway I don't wish to get into an argument. The main thing is that rikamonie is okay.
 
Last edited:
G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,025
Good to see you again. It sounds like it would have worked if you were not found considering the level medical Intervention needed to keep you alive. It’s good to hear those around you love and care about you. I hope your life can head in a happier direction now.
 
C

cyberlordsumit

Absolution
Aug 12, 2020
202
Oh my thats a harrowing experience of survival...

I do not know how to react to this, sorry. Apologies.

buttttt..

the thing that caught my eye was the String of hallucinations!!!!
I don't know man, were they ghosts??? Why these specific hallucinations???

something seems off. damn
 
  • Love
Reactions: rikamonie
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
Oh my thats a harrowing experience of survival...

I do not know how to react to this, sorry. Apologies.

buttttt..

the thing that caught my eye was the String of hallucinations!!!!
I don't know man, were they ghosts??? Why these specific hallucinations???

something seems off. damn

hallucinations from N withdrawls its like coming off of any drug youll get symptoms so i think from the toxic chemicals still in my system i got weird hallucinations we’ve had other family members who had accidents and had hallucinations one had nice ones though but another had the same as me a woman with a knife threatened to stab her yeah really scary stuff
 
I

ihsdpm

Member
Jun 26, 2020
12
Thank you for coming back sharing your story @rikamonie.

I’ve been following you since back in a June as I was having serious suicidal thoughts due to health issues around that time. Your navigation through the dark web and ultimately obtaining the N was really a tutorial for me. I never ended up getting it though and thought you were gone for good. I’m glad you are getting better and giving life another shot.

N really appealed to me because I liked the idea of having it around since the powdered version supposedly has a shelf life of 20-30 years and I looked at it as an insurance policy in case my health went south again. Now I don’t know if this is a realistic option.