rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
I hope you feel better and recover strong.

I didn't think it was possible to not breathe for 5 hours and not die.

im not sure whether or not i breathed within that time or not as i was passed out from the N but when i was in hospital i wasnt breathing by myself at all for 5 days so im not sure must of got some oxygen in that time otherwise i think id definitely have brain damage of some sort
 
marcusuk63

marcusuk63

CTB
Mar 24, 2019
1,737
Ahahah! Police in the UK? Sympathy?
I am dependent on benzos, if I don't take my dose I have a seizure. It will not stop them from taking all of these meds, not even leaving me enough to get through the night. They do their job and leave. Stop the nuisance (me), take him to jail, fill out the paperwork and go home.
Then I'm freaking out in a cell, screaming for help as I think bugs are under my skin biting me, I get beaten with a club until I stop.
Then I'm smashing my head on the sink/toilet, get sectioned and have to spend days trying to convince them I'm not crazy, but withdrawing from benzos. Family members are no help. Dr's are of no help. Police confiscate everything as well as blacklisting my address so all mail (which I told them I got my benzos from, stupidly) now goes through increased scrutiny. I had to move house to get a not blacklisted address.

No, they do not. They believe you are crazy and of harm to yourself and/or others, that's all it takes for you to be stripped of all human rights.
But you get a drink of water every 12 hours a good dose of sleep deprivation , the constant noise from the warm air heating , which i was convinced was a hairdryer on full behind the mesh and a lovely all day breakfast consisting of 2 sausages floating around a runny sauce with a threw diced potatoes thrown in .
 

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NoneMoreNegative

NoneMoreNegative

Member
Aug 27, 2020
65
This is a long story but in conclusion i failed my N ctb attempt here i will tell you what happened and how i am now and the symptoms of N od

i weighed around 42kg and my height 5’4


i think on the 14th of august i took 25g of N from C in 60ml of water i followed the stat dose information about that is on my post about taking N if you want more details

so i took the N although i spilt like a tea spoon amount dont think that should affect it though because of my weight anyway then i passed out there was no pain at all i didnt even realise i had passed out. my mum came home about 5 hours later so it was enough time for me she called the ambulance and they told her to pump my chest to get air in

a week later i woke up in hospital

my family has told me i didnt breathe for 5 days, i was on life support, i was dead basically for 3 days and they put me in an induced coma even though i was also in my own coma

they put me on this machine thing that took my blood out and around 4 wheels that apparently “cleaned” my blood and sent it back into my body

i had a feeding tube and oxygen aswell as a catheter, cannulas everywhere in my hands and arms

and when the doctors were ready to pronounce me dead my eye slightly dilated and they checked my brain scan and the doctor had to get 5 other doctors to come and check what he was seeing because he couldn’t believe his eyes, he expected the scan to be all straight lines which wouldve meant my brain was dead but all the lines were all jagged up and down which meant i have absolutely no brain damage at all

when i woke up i lost my memory of about 1-2 weeks so i thought i was still on holiday and i didnt even remember that i took N i thought an accident happened or something so when the psychiatrists were asking me about it i denied everything i even told my mum i didnt do that because i seriously couldnt remember it i also couldnt talk for a day or 2 and after that i could barely speak and i stuttered but now my voice is back to normal

my eyes were completely bloodshot red, no white of my eyes was showing it was just blood red all over

not only that but i had the worst hallucinations because of the od, i would see things floating around and id hallucinate people, sound and touch

so i hallucinated my dentist i legit thought my dentist was in the hospital and i waved at him, then when they pulled the curtain back i saw the beach, and i hallucinated people calling my name and also when i closed my eyes and opened them i was in another room like by myself it was really scary and i couldnt get back to where i was before it took ages so maybe it was a dream or hallucinating i dont know


i kept trying to pull things out because i was so out of it i didnt realise i had a needle in my neck and i kept trying to pull it off because i thought it was a sticker

anyway i got my catheter removed and was taken to a different ward, before i was in ITU the intensive care unit

here i had my own room and a 1 to 1 nurse then the hallucinations got worse i think because i was more aware so i hallucinated 3 people, at first it was just one guy, not to mention this ward is just full of old people plus its the womens side but because of how real the hallucinations are i didnt even accept that it wasnt real, so he was making fun of me and calling me a b*tch and all of that, i couldn’t see only hear him and that continued, and then there was this girl who threatened to stab me every night, it was so scary because i would tell the nurse and she would tell me it was a hallucination and ofcourse i was still hallucinating so i didnt feel safe, one night i even hallucinated that someone got shot like 1000 times and was still alive, we dont even have guns in england but i believed it.

anyway so that was the hallucinations i got them to let my grandad stay overnight so i felt safer but they still continued until i was put on an antipsychotic which made them go away immediately

my eyes are almost back to normal now too

i was put on a diet of like yogurt, ice cream, jelly and anything soft for like 5 days then i could eat anything

they gave me blood clot injection in the tummy and took bloods from me alot

i needed help getting up and walking and help getting to the bathroom and undressing

i think it took just over a week for me to be able to get up and go to toilet without help and to walk confidently by myself and i got back home after around 2 weeks, everyone said it is a miracle

so thats my story i probably missed alot out so if you have any questions feel free to ask, but also after a couple days ill be leaving here because im just getting back on track with my life i mean i failed N theres nothing else i can do and i never want to be in hospital ever again being stabbed by needles isnt fun at all

also this is in no way a post to make people stop taking N or to discourage anyone i only made this post because it is so rare to hear someones N experience because usually it works so i wanted to tell people what its like to fail, but its a total miracle and probably wouldnt happen to anyone else but me because im unlucky like that or lucky if you want to see it that way



something i forgot to add the police took my phone to investigate it i only got it back when i got home however i was allowed my ipad in hospital they also took all my piercings out and took the jewellery and my note. 12 piercings i had i only have 3 now the rest closed up

Had a very similar experience when i tried to CTB with heroin, complete loss of consciousness for 1 day in the hospital even after narcan.
Then i woke up hooked up to a respirator, a catether and cannula needles on my arms.

Anyways, hope you recovery soon!
 
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mpnf

mpnf

Mental anguish..no more please.
Oct 3, 2019
191
The thing is why did you chose the 1pm time frame instead of doing it at 1am? That way you could have had more hours to actually not getting interrupted.
It's just curiosity, don't take it the wrong way.

Also around what month did you get the N? If you don't mind telling.

It's really good luck that you survived without brain or any organ damage.

Good luck and wish you an easy recovery. :wink:
 
Ripple

Ripple

beginner
Jul 24, 2019
6
Thank you very much for sharing your valuable experience with us.
Your story is full of lessons to learn.
 
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TheNorthernSilence

TheNorthernSilence

Arcanist
Nov 13, 2018
433
My theory is that N might have some neuroprotective properties. My other speculation is that you can also take too much N and the process changes somehow and it isn't as efficient as the 'sweet spot' dose.
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
The thing is why did you chose the 1pm time frame instead of doing it at 1am? That way you could have had more hours to actually not getting interrupted.
It's just curiosity, don't take it the wrong way.

Also around what month did you get the N? If you don't mind telling.

It's really good luck that you survived without brain or any organ damage.

Good luck and wish you an easy recovery. :wink:

my mum was home at that time and she doesnt sleep until late and i didnt know if at death i wouldve made any noises and such but thank you
 
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C

ceelo

-
May 18, 2020
298
Just out of curiosity, how hard would it be to fabricate a Vet label and put some junk product in a sealed bottle? Just a label isn’t enough peace of mind for me
you obviously have no idea what a vet bottle is like, the lids are factory fitted and sealed and cant be taken off without breaking them., the entrance is syringe.
it was N because i was tested and thats what showed up in me they tested for everything every drug i have rhe paperwork for it
Is there a single other case ever of someone surviving N, i dont think so. Never happened at dignitas, never happened on death row, the only way this is possible is shit batch far less potent than should be, in testing terms of course this will still present as pentobarbital in blood but theres no way it was good stuff it just isnt possible. In the paperwork did they present how much was present in bloodstream? we may be able to calculate based off of it.
 
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JoeeWasHere

JoeeWasHere

-
Jun 14, 2020
1,178
It’s good to see that you’re doing okay! Definitely quit here when you get the chance and I wish you the best of luck for the future!
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
you obviously have no idea what a vet bottle is like, the lids are factory fitted and sealed and cant be taken off without breaking them., the entrance is syringe.

Is there a single other case ever of someone surviving N, i dont think so. Never happened at dignitas, never happened on death row, the only way this is possible is shit batch far less potent than should be, in testing terms of course this will still present as pentobarbital in blood but theres no way it was good stuff it just isnt possible. In the paperwork did they present how much was present in bloodstream? we may be able to calculate based off of it.

unsure of that, anyway they all said i shouldve died either way so i dont know what else to tell you i had psychiatrists and doctors down my throat everyday telling me i couldve died and should be dead and i took an extremely dangerous overdose as if i didnt know what i was doing so i dont know man
 
C

ceelo

-
May 18, 2020
298
unsure of that, anyway they all said i shouldve died either way so i dont know what else to tell you i had psychiatrists and doctors down my throat everyday telling me i couldve died and should be dead and i took an extremely dangerous overdose as if i didnt know what i was doing so i dont know man
haha yeah the patronizing fuckers.
Thank you very much for sharing your valuable experience with us.
Your story is full of lessons to learn.
what lessons? test dodgy powder from china? thats the only lesson here. dignitas use 15g and she took 25g.... what does that tell you?
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
haha yeah the patronizing fuckers.

what lessons? test dodgy powder from china? thats the only lesson here. dignitas use 15g and she took 25g.... what does that tell you?

25g was not pure as many people have already mentioned it wouldve only been around 16g or so not 25g

as mentioned i took N from C it is known his N is not 100% pure but it is pure enough especially with my weight
 
C

ceelo

-
May 18, 2020
298
25g was not pure as many people have already mentioned it wouldve only been around 16g or so not 25g

as mentioned i took N from C it is known his N is not 100% pure but it is pure enough especially with my weight
so u think you survived a dose of N higher than dignitas's protocol? either soemthing was mad wrong with that source or you're a child of dr doom.
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
so u think you survived a dose of N higher than dignitas's protocol? either soemthing was mad wrong with that source or you're a child of dr doom.

there has been many sources of the purity of Cs N on this site not just one so its reliable

i dont know what happened i told my story straight what happened and what doctors told me and what was written in reports as i said its a miracle thats all i can say about it i was knocked out in minutes so its not like it was something else otherwise id have been awake for longer but no it worked immediately and stopped me from breathing by myself like an N OD would
 
C

ceelo

-
May 18, 2020
298
Whats the easiest to get anti emetic in uk btw? i have domperidone wil that do the job?
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
Whats the easiest to get anti emetic in uk btw? i have domperidone wil that do the job?

not sure i got meto i dont know the easiest one though i dont have enough experience in those to know i just know meto is the best one
 
R

rt1989526

Paragon
Aug 2, 2020
936
This is the only case I know of—my guess is he survived because the intervention happened so early. Maybe the supply wasn’t good quality but I trust the numbers the doctors reported (which were insanely high).

5 hours is early intervention? I thought the brain dies after 10-15 minutes without oxygen?
 
bov

bov

Specialist
Aug 26, 2020
375
you obviously have no idea what a vet bottle is like, the lids are factory fitted and sealed and cant be taken off without breaking them., the entrance is syringe.

Is there a single other case ever of someone surviving N, i dont think so. Never happened at dignitas, never happened on death row, the only way this is possible is shit batch far less potent than should be, in testing terms of course this will still present as pentobarbital in blood but theres no way it was good stuff it just isnt possible. In the paperwork did they present how much was present in bloodstream? we may be able to calculate based off of it.
This is the only case I know of—my guess is he survived because the intervention happened so early. Maybe the supply wasn’t good quality but I trust the numbers the doctors reported (which were insanely high): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6314932/
5 hours is early intervention? I thought the brain dies after 10-15 minutes without oxygen?
oops i forgot to include this link: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6314932/
 
Cherrypea

Cherrypea

I remember when all this will be again
May 3, 2020
414
The hospital would have put you in an induced coma while they sorted out your body, hence the need for the breathing tube. Doesn't mean you weren't breathing for 5 hours or even when you got to the hospital.
 
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R

rt1989526

Paragon
Aug 2, 2020
936
The hospital would have put you in an induced coma while they sorted out your body, hence the need for the breathing tube, doesn't mean you weren't breathing for 5 hours x

OP says they weren't found for 5 hours.
 
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Checkmate3

Checkmate3

Student
Aug 15, 2020
102
I'm not into N, because it's too risky to obtain, but I did see on this very forum that in some rare cases person can survive up to 20 hours after taking N, or something like that. I was looking for this specific link and couldn't find it, way too many topics about N, but I definitely remember this information.
 
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rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
The hospital would have put you in an induced coma while they sorted out your body, hence the need for the breathing tube. Doesn't mean you weren't breathing for 5 hours or even when you got to the hospital.

i know sorry i didnt make it clear i meant i wasnt breathing by myself for 5 days i was on life support and when they took me out of my induced coma i was still in my own coma from the N od
 
Cherrypea

Cherrypea

I remember when all this will be again
May 3, 2020
414
OP says they weren't found for 5 hours.
Yes but she's not sure if she was or wasn't breathing during that time. I'm guessing she was unconscious but breathing and then the ITU docs induced a coma and intubated which is common for ITU.
5 hours would be to long without oxygen. As a cardiac nurse I've seen some pretty amazing recoverys but nothing like that.

Sorry to talk about you in the 3rd person Rikamonie, it's a miracle either way.
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
OP says they weren't found for 5 hours.

yeah i wasnt found for 5 hours because my mum was at work and she explained she got home even later because she didnt come straight home that day so i was alone for 5 hours after i took the N unsure of what state i was in at that point
Yes but she's not sure if she was or wasn't breathing during that time. I'm guessing she was unconscious but breathing and then the ITU docs induced a coma and intubated which is common for ITU.
5 hours would be to long without oxygen. As a cardiac nurse I've seen some pretty amazing recoverys but nothing like that.

Sorry to talk about you in the 3rd person Rikamonie, it's a miracle either way.

thats alright what youve said there is true
 
Lost in a Dream

Lost in a Dream

Enlightened
Feb 22, 2020
1,021
It's amazing that you survived all of that but it sounds like it was a horrible experience to go through. I really don't know for sure if it was a miracle or just pure luck, but it seems like you want to keep on living for now, so I hope that life keeps getting better for you so that you won't feel like suicide is necessary again.

Are you planning to create a good-bye thread in the Recovery section? It would be cool if everyone that has been supporting you here could wish you well before you move on. I think it would be a more pleasant one to participate in than the normal kind, because we would at least know that you were able to recover from the things that brought you here and that you are alive and well.
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
It's amazing that you survived all of that but it sounds like it was a horrible experience to go through. I really don't know for sure if it was a miracle or just pure luck, but it seems like you want to keep on living for now, so I hope that life keeps getting better for you so that you won't feel like suicide is necessary again.

Are you planning to create a good-bye thread in the Recovery section? It would be cool if everyone that has been supporting you here could wish you well before you move on. I think it would be a more pleasant one to participate in than the normal kind, because we would at least know that you were able to recover from the things that brought you here and that you are alive and well.

that sounds like a nice idea i will probably do so in the next few days (:
 
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Deafsn0w

Deafsn0w

I will buy you a dog if you like my posts
Sep 4, 2018
2,489
I’m sorry that you survived taking N. I find it really hard to believe that someone took 25g of N and survived. But I’m glad that you survived without any brain damage.

I ordered N from C yesterday, but he told me that N is out of stock and will be restocked next week. When I get it, I will definitely test it for purity. I will let you guys know if the purity of N changes.