JSRF

JSRF

Student
May 30, 2018
134
Pretty crazy story, but at least we get some info out of it. Hope you'll recover well.

People here are speculating how you survived, but I think thats pointless when not even the doctors know. People survive crazy shit all the time, especially when they're young.
 
M

mapletree

Student
Aug 22, 2020
199
I misread it initially as SN and was like “yeah sometimes people can be easily rescued from the methemoglobinemia welp that’s the nature of the compound it happens” but then I realized you said N...I’m surprised they were able to pull you back from that. It’s not like benzos where there’s an antidote and it also just increases the frequency of Cl channel opening not the duration (aka why it’s hard to OD on em)- but with stuff like N there’s nothing like that medically, they’re much harder to fix...I’m sorry you had to go through that and I’m glad you’re ok but I’m also wondering how the hell the doctors pulled that off (not doubting your story- family member knew a woman who survived a jump from the 13th floor and landed on a car, it’s just...wow)
 
Busdriver

Busdriver

Mage
Feb 11, 2020
512
How terrible for you, @rikamonie, to have survived the 'holy grail' N!

How excruciating to wake up in pain in hospital!

C's N scares me now. A's to be trusted Pisabental isn't for sale anymore and Dolethal yet has to be proven successful..

I have no words for this. Why is it so hard to leave this shit life!
 
Jumper Geo

Jumper Geo

Life's a bitch and then you die.
Feb 23, 2020
2,912
Thanks for the feedback surviving N from C now that is a story you can tell your grand children, lol I wouldn't have survived after getting N from C with all the trouble buying bitcoins and washing them and hoping you don't get a visit from customs, if I spilled it, I would have had a heart attack.

Have you left a review on the market place you bought it, so any potential buyers will need to send it for a purity test, you can use the SS link to your message.

Really hope your second chance at life is successful.

Best wishes

Geo
 
BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

Visionary
Dec 1, 2019
2,360
Welcome back. Sorry to hear what you've been through though and sorry that N failed for you. But at the same time it seems to have given you some optimism for the future and that's always good to see. Good luck with whatever you decide to do from here ❤️
 
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G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,025
As an aside why are you guys drinking N instead of injecting it?
 
yannyorlaurel

yannyorlaurel

Member
Aug 31, 2020
29
@kittie and @RRH aren't here to disagree with you.

Tbh neither shared publically that their product was Dolethal.
Right, and it appears in some instances (randomly) A is sending out Pisa like he used to instead of D. To me this story suggests anyone looking for N is better off going with A for now. I heard of a review on EM saying the purity of the powder from C was only 50% and its possible he just kept decreasing it. At least the bottles A sends are sealed. Sucks because powder and less liquid is much easier to get down.
 
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
Thanks for the feedback surviving N from C now that is a story you can tell your grand children, lol I wouldn't have survived after getting N from C with all the trouble buying bitcoins and washing them and hoping you don't get a visit from customs, if I spilled it, I would have had a heart attack.

Have you left a review on the market place you bought it, so any potential buyers will need to send it for a purity test, you can use the SS link to your message.

Really hope your second chance at life is successful.

Best wishes

Geo

unfortunately i havnt left a review because id have to download tor again and i just dont want anything to do with that anymore ):
As an aside why are you guys drinking N instead of injecting it?

you would pass out before being able to inject a lethal dose
 
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H

Hornyaboutdeath

-
Aug 23, 2020
68
unfortunately i havnt left a review because id have to download tor again and i just dont want anything to do with that anymore ):you would pass out before being able to inject a lethal dose
Thats not true. There are several organizations injecting it to kill their patients.
 
GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,737
I just want to note that OP said they spilled a teaspoon amount. That would be at least a third of the 25g if not more.

I have compassion for what they experienced, and at the same time I have compassion for other forum members getting stressed over a near-certain super-peaceful method failing, and compassion for myself as a member. I'm not at all implying they're lying or inconsistent, or that it didn't happen, just cautioning to not freak out. In the first post the OP also said that this occurrence is an outilier from the norm, and it seems very reasonable to me that losinng a significant portion of the N could be a contributing factor. I'd be freaking out if they'd taken the full 25g, and then going through every post with a fine-tooth comb for inconsistencies.

@rikamonie, I hope you don't feel I've attacked you here. I've made every effort to make it clear that I'm not. We've communicated on your threads in the past and I've always demonstrated good will toward you. I sincerely wish you a quick recovery and best wishes for moving foward.
 
mpnf

mpnf

Mental anguish..no more please.
Oct 3, 2019
191
I just want to note that OP said they spilled a teaspoon amount. That would be at least a third of the 25g if not more.

I have compassion for what they experienced, and at the same time I have compassion for other forum members getting stressed over a near-certain super-peaceful method failing, and compassion for myself as a member. I'm not at all implying they're lying or inconsistent, or that it didn't happen, just cautioning to not freak out. In the first post the OP also said that this occurrence is an outilier from the norm, and it seems very reasonable to me that losinng a significant portion of the N could be a contributing factor. I'd be freaking out if they'd taken the full 25g, and then going through every post with a fine-tooth comb for inconsistencies.

@rikamonie, I hope you don't feel I've attacked you here. I've made every effort to make it clear that I'm not. We've communicated on your threads in the past and I've always demonstrated good will toward you. I sincerely wish you a quick recovery and best wishes for moving foward.
Where did she mentione it? If you don't mind posting it, please.

Thanks.
 
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mpnf

mpnf

Mental anguish..no more please.
Oct 3, 2019
191
'so i took the N although i spilt like a tea spoon amount dont think that should affect it though because of my weight anyway then i passed out there was no pain at all i didnt even realise i had passed out.'

From her original post. Paragraph 4.
OK thank for the clarification. :wink:
 
Deafsn0w

Deafsn0w

I will buy you a dog if you like my posts
Sep 4, 2018
2,489
I just want to note that OP said they spilled a teaspoon amount. That would be at least a third of the 25g if not more.

I have compassion for what they experienced, and at the same time I have compassion for other forum members getting stressed over a near-certain super-peaceful method failing, and compassion for myself as a member. I'm not at all implying they're lying or inconsistent, or that it didn't happen, just cautioning to not freak out. In the first post the OP also said that this occurrence is an outilier from the norm, and it seems very reasonable to me that losinng a significant portion of the N could be a contributing factor. I'd be freaking out if they'd taken the full 25g, and then going through every post with a fine-tooth comb for inconsistencies.

@rikamonie, I hope you don't feel I've attacked you here. I've made every effort to make it clear that I'm not. We've communicated on your threads in the past and I've always demonstrated good will toward you. I sincerely wish you a quick recovery and best wishes for moving foward.
I thought she consumed it all
 
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D

Deleted member 14386

I am not advising anything
Jan 28, 2020
784
I just want to note that OP said they spilled a teaspoon amount. That would be at least a third of the 25g if not more.

I have compassion for what they experienced, and at the same time I have compassion for other forum members getting stressed over a near-certain super-peaceful method failing, and compassion for myself as a member. I'm not at all implying they're lying or inconsistent, or that it didn't happen, just cautioning to not freak out. In the first post the OP also said that this occurrence is an outilier from the norm, and it seems very reasonable to me that losinng a significant portion of the N could be a contributing factor. I'd be freaking out if they'd taken the full 25g, and then going through every post with a fine-tooth comb for inconsistencies.

@rikamonie, I hope you don't feel I've attacked you here. I've made every effort to make it clear that I'm not. We've communicated on your threads in the past and I've always demonstrated good will toward you. I sincerely wish you a quick recovery and best wishes for moving foward.
although I don't mean to get all pedantic, I would think a teaspoon would be 5g-ish. Even a third off would still be 17g-ish, @ 50% that's still like 9g. I would've thought even that would have been successful. I *think* c has been watering it down, as he is currently out of stock. What op mentions is well in line with a benzo OD. I can see a blackout for 5 hours happening, but not a loss of oxygen for 5 hours, that's not what pheno does but could easily be mistaken for a large benzo amount, also a small amount of n since they found that in your system. Hope your doing alright anyway rikamonie
I thought she consumed it all
paragraph 4 in Op's post, she spilt a teaspoon amount, although I don't know if this was a measured teaspoon or just eye-balled
 
Last edited:
rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
I just want to note that OP said they spilled a teaspoon amount. That would be at least a third of the 25g if not more.

I have compassion for what they experienced, and at the same time I have compassion for other forum members getting stressed over a near-certain super-peaceful method failing, and compassion for myself as a member. I'm not at all implying they're lying or inconsistent, or that it didn't happen, just cautioning to not freak out. In the first post the OP also said that this occurrence is an outilier from the norm, and it seems very reasonable to me that losinng a significant portion of the N could be a contributing factor. I'd be freaking out if they'd taken the full 25g, and then going through every post with a fine-tooth comb for inconsistencies.

@rikamonie, I hope you don't feel I've attacked you here. I've made every effort to make it clear that I'm not. We've communicated on your threads in the past and I've always demonstrated good will toward you. I sincerely wish you a quick recovery and best wishes for moving foward.

its no problem at all what youve said is very thoughtful and detailed, i dont think it was more than a third spilled though it was only a small amount i dont think it matters but i added it because as you said it could be the reason it didnt work but i dont know for sure my weight is so light i thought it wouldnt matter and took it anyway

and thank you!
sorry to see you went through this. I don't know if this is inappropriate what but, I couldn't helpt but notice in your picture, you have nice nails.

haha thank you :hug: its ok not inappropriate,
had to cut them off yesterday just so i could put in my piercings but theyll come back soon
although I don't mean to get all pedantic, I would think a teaspoon would be 5g-ish. Even a third off would still be 17g-ish, @ 50% that's still like 9g. I would've thought even that would have been successful. I *think* c has been watering it down, as he is currently out of stock. What op mentions is well in line with a benzo OD. I can see a blackout for 5 hours happening, but not a loss of oxygen for 5 hours, that's not what pheno does but could easily be mistaken for a large benzo amount, also a small amount of n since they found that in your system. Hope your doing alright anyway rikamonie

paragraph 4 in Op's post, she spilt a teaspoon amount, although I don't know if this was a measured teaspoon or just eye-balled

eye balled it because i was in bed i spilt some out of the glass i had it was very small glass and what i saw the liquid barely went down in the glass and there was barely any that came out but enough that i saw it come out of the glass so yeah around teaspoon id say
I thought she consumed it all

nah i did say a teaspoon amount was spilt but thought it wouldnt make a difference because i still drank all of the rest meaning i still consumed a lethal dose of N

if we are assuming what i drank was all N but i didnt get it tested just went off of others test results there was N in the solution we just dont know how much unfortunately as goodpersoneffed said it couldve been something else mixed with some N, its just unfortunate we cant know for sure if it was actually an OD of N or OD of whatever else was in the solution all i can say is it definitely was extremely peaceful and quick
 
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Sinai Silence

Sinai Silence

I think I'ma die alone inside my room
Jul 6, 2020
812
This is a long story but in conclusion i failed my N ctb attempt here i will tell you what happened and how i am now and the symptoms of N od

i weighed around 42kg and my height 5’4


i think on the 14th of august i took 25g of N from C in 60ml of water i followed the stat dose information about that is on my post about taking N if you want more details

so i took the N although i spilt like a tea spoon amount dont think that should affect it though because of my weight anyway then i passed out there was no pain at all i didnt even realise i had passed out. my mum came home about 5 hours later so it was enough time for me she called the ambulance and they told her to pump my chest to get air in

a week later i woke up in hospital

my family has told me i didnt breathe for 5 days, i was on life support, i was dead basically for 3 days and they put me in an induced coma even though i was also in my own coma

they put me on this machine thing that took my blood out and around 4 wheels that apparently “cleaned” my blood and sent it back into my body

i had a feeding tube and oxygen aswell as a catheter, cannulas everywhere in my hands and arms

and when the doctors were ready to pronounce me dead my eye slightly dilated and they checked my brain scan and the doctor had to get 5 other doctors to come and check what he was seeing because he couldn’t believe his eyes, he expected the scan to be all straight lines which wouldve meant my brain was dead but all the lines were all jagged up and down which meant i have absolutely no brain damage at all

when i woke up i lost my memory of about 1-2 weeks so i thought i was still on holiday and i didnt even remember that i took N i thought an accident happened or something so when the psychiatrists were asking me about it i denied everything i even told my mum i didnt do that because i seriously couldnt remember it i also couldnt talk for a day or 2 and after that i could barely speak and i stuttered but now my voice is back to normal

my eyes were completely bloodshot red, no white of my eyes was showing it was just blood red all over

not only that but i had the worst hallucinations because of the od, i would see things floating around and id hallucinate people, sound and touch

so i hallucinated my dentist i legit thought my dentist was in the hospital and i waved at him, then when they pulled the curtain back i saw the beach, and i hallucinated people calling my name and also when i closed my eyes and opened them i was in another room like by myself it was really scary and i couldnt get back to where i was before it took ages so maybe it was a dream or hallucinating i dont know


i kept trying to pull things out because i was so out of it i didnt realise i had a needle in my neck and i kept trying to pull it off because i thought it was a sticker

anyway i got my catheter removed and was taken to a different ward, before i was in ITU the intensive care unit

here i had my own room and a 1 to 1 nurse then the hallucinations got worse i think because i was more aware so i hallucinated 3 people, at first it was just one guy, not to mention this ward is just full of old people plus its the womens side but because of how real the hallucinations are i didnt even accept that it wasnt real, so he was making fun of me and calling me a b*tch and all of that, i couldn’t see only hear him and that continued, and then there was this girl who threatened to stab me every night, it was so scary because i would tell the nurse and she would tell me it was a hallucination and ofcourse i was still hallucinating so i didnt feel safe, one night i even hallucinated that someone got shot like 1000 times and was still alive, we dont even have guns in england but i believed it.

anyway so that was the hallucinations i got them to let my grandad stay overnight so i felt safer but they still continued until i was put on an antipsychotic which made them go away immediately

my eyes are almost back to normal now too

i was put on a diet of like yogurt, ice cream, jelly and anything soft for like 5 days then i could eat anything

they gave me blood clot injection in the tummy and took bloods from me alot

i needed help getting up and walking and help getting to the bathroom and undressing

i think it took just over a week for me to be able to get up and go to toilet without help and to walk confidently by myself and i got back home after around 2 weeks, everyone said it is a miracle

so thats my story i probably missed alot out so if you have any questions feel free to ask, but also after a couple days ill be leaving here because im just getting back on track with my life i mean i failed N theres nothing else i can do and i never want to be in hospital ever again being stabbed by needles isnt fun at all

also this is in no way a post to make people stop taking N or to discourage anyone i only made this post because it is so rare to hear someones N experience because usually it works so i wanted to tell people what its like to fail, but its a total miracle and probably wouldnt happen to anyone else but me because im unlucky like that or lucky if you want to see it that way



something i forgot to add the police took my phone to investigate it i only got it back when i got home however i was allowed my ipad in hospital they also took all my piercings out and took the jewellery and my note. 12 piercings i had i only have 3 now the rest closed up
This is a long story but in conclusion i failed my N ctb attempt here i will tell you what happened and how i am now and the symptoms of N od

i weighed around 42kg and my height 5’4


i think on the 14th of august i took 25g of N from C in 60ml of water i followed the stat dose information about that is on my post about taking N if you want more details

so i took the N although i spilt like a tea spoon amount dont think that should affect it though because of my weight anyway then i passed out there was no pain at all i didnt even realise i had passed out. my mum came home about 5 hours later so it was enough time for me she called the ambulance and they told her to pump my chest to get air in

a week later i woke up in hospital

my family has told me i didnt breathe for 5 days, i was on life support, i was dead basically for 3 days and they put me in an induced coma even though i was also in my own coma

they put me on this machine thing that took my blood out and around 4 wheels that apparently “cleaned” my blood and sent it back into my body

i had a feeding tube and oxygen aswell as a catheter, cannulas everywhere in my hands and arms

and when the doctors were ready to pronounce me dead my eye slightly dilated and they checked my brain scan and the doctor had to get 5 other doctors to come and check what he was seeing because he couldn’t believe his eyes, he expected the scan to be all straight lines which wouldve meant my brain was dead but all the lines were all jagged up and down which meant i have absolutely no brain damage at all

when i woke up i lost my memory of about 1-2 weeks so i thought i was still on holiday and i didnt even remember that i took N i thought an accident happened or something so when the psychiatrists were asking me about it i denied everything i even told my mum i didnt do that because i seriously couldnt remember it i also couldnt talk for a day or 2 and after that i could barely speak and i stuttered but now my voice is back to normal

my eyes were completely bloodshot red, no white of my eyes was showing it was just blood red all over

not only that but i had the worst hallucinations because of the od, i would see things floating around and id hallucinate people, sound and touch

so i hallucinated my dentist i legit thought my dentist was in the hospital and i waved at him, then when they pulled the curtain back i saw the beach, and i hallucinated people calling my name and also when i closed my eyes and opened them i was in another room like by myself it was really scary and i couldnt get back to where i was before it took ages so maybe it was a dream or hallucinating i dont know


i kept trying to pull things out because i was so out of it i didnt realise i had a needle in my neck and i kept trying to pull it off because i thought it was a sticker

anyway i got my catheter removed and was taken to a different ward, before i was in ITU the intensive care unit

here i had my own room and a 1 to 1 nurse then the hallucinations got worse i think because i was more aware so i hallucinated 3 people, at first it was just one guy, not to mention this ward is just full of old people plus its the womens side but because of how real the hallucinations are i didnt even accept that it wasnt real, so he was making fun of me and calling me a b*tch and all of that, i couldn’t see only hear him and that continued, and then there was this girl who threatened to stab me every night, it was so scary because i would tell the nurse and she would tell me it was a hallucination and ofcourse i was still hallucinating so i didnt feel safe, one night i even hallucinated that someone got shot like 1000 times and was still alive, we dont even have guns in england but i believed it.

anyway so that was the hallucinations i got them to let my grandad stay overnight so i felt safer but they still continued until i was put on an antipsychotic which made them go away immediately

my eyes are almost back to normal now too

i was put on a diet of like yogurt, ice cream, jelly and anything soft for like 5 days then i could eat anything

they gave me blood clot injection in the tummy and took bloods from me alot

i needed help getting up and walking and help getting to the bathroom and undressing

i think it took just over a week for me to be able to get up and go to toilet without help and to walk confidently by myself and i got back home after around 2 weeks, everyone said it is a miracle

so thats my story i probably missed alot out so if you have any questions feel free to ask, but also after a couple days ill be leaving here because im just getting back on track with my life i mean i failed N theres nothing else i can do and i never want to be in hospital ever again being stabbed by needles isnt fun at all

also this is in no way a post to make people stop taking N or to discourage anyone i only made this post because it is so rare to hear someones N experience because usually it works so i wanted to tell people what its like to fail, but its a total miracle and probably wouldnt happen to anyone else but me because im unlucky like that or lucky if you want to see it that way



something i forgot to add the police took my phone to investigate it i only got it back when i got home however i was allowed my ipad in hospital they also took all my piercings out and took the jewellery and my note. 12 piercings i had i only have 3 now the rest closed up
My god that sounds like it was an awful experience in hospital. I'm so sorry you had to suffer through that. Thank you very much for sharing your experience with it, im sure that you sharing your experiemce will help a lot of people considering taking N. I hope that your family is supporting you right now given the circumstances. Being admitted to hospital after an attempt is something I never want to experience again, stay strong love.
My question i want to ask is what are your plans for life after you leave here, are you going to try recover?
 
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rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
My god that sounds like it was an awful experience in hospital. I'm so sorry you had to suffer through that. Thank you very much for sharing your experience with it, im sure that you sharing your experiemce will help a lot of people considering taking N. I hope that your family is supporting you right now given the circumstances. Being admitted to hospital after an attempt is something I never want to experience again, stay strong love.
My question i want to ask is what are your plans for life after you leave here, are you going to try recover?

theyre very supportive they visited me everyday in hospital even when i was in my coma, my aunt who lives 4 hours away even drove to see me when i wasnt even awake yet, theyre just putting it all in the past now, my plans are to continue with my business and try and get a job in tattooing or something like that, im recovering already slowing thank you :hug:
 
Sinai Silence

Sinai Silence

I think I'ma die alone inside my room
Jul 6, 2020
812
theyre very supportive they visited me everyday in hospital even when i was in my coma, my aunt who lives 4 hours away even drove to see me when i wasnt even awake yet, theyre just putting it all in the past now, my plans are to continue with my business and try and get a job in tattooing or something like that, im recovering already slowing thank you :hug:
That's good to hear then. I wish you all the best in your pursuit of becoming a tattoo artist. I hope you are able to stay strong in your recovery, than you for being a part of this community :hug:
 
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C

checkouttime

Visionary
Jul 15, 2020
2,925
you obviously have no idea what a vet bottle is like, the lids are factory fitted and sealed and cant be taken off without breaking them., the entrance is syringe.

That means absolutely nothing i'm afraid, the bottle in my picture below has exactly the same type of lid and stopper you are talking about.It is not pharmaceutical grade medicine, it is from a so called ' underground lab'.
20200907 205154
 
F

Fedrea

Specialist
May 14, 2020
326
There was a report of C's N testing at 67% purity, which would mean the OP took nearly 17g of N, if hers was of the same purity. She mentioned spilling a small amount -so maybe 12-16g?

Survival of a dose of 13g was considered remarkable enough to be written up in the literature- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3968666/

So survival of a dose higher than that would also be remarkable.

The likelier explanation is the purity of this N batch was still lower than 67%
 
F

Fedrea

Specialist
May 14, 2020
326
thank you guys for being so kind! i have made my goodbye on the recovery forum ill log off today :heart:
The lovely side of all this is that you have posted that you are recovering from your depressive thoughts. That is an amazing thing to be able to write after such an intent suicide attempt. It’s almost as if fate wanted you to survive, only I don’t believe in fate! If the chemical was impure it was very very lucky for you, seeing as you are no longer suicidal. I wish you so much joy and happiness
 
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BipolarGuy

BipolarGuy

-
Aug 6, 2020
1,456
There was a report of C's N testing at 67% purity, which would mean the OP took nearly 17g of N, if hers was of the same purity. She mentioned spilling a small amount -so maybe 12-16g?

Survival of a dose of 13g was considered remarkable enough to be written up in the literature- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3968666/

So survival of a dose higher than that would also be remarkable.

The likelier explanation is the purity of this N batch was still lower than 67%
The quality of C's product is being seriously questioned: