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BaconCheeseburger

BaconCheeseburger

Comfort-eating
Aug 4, 2018
689
I've gone through a few phases recently. The first was enjoying the fact that I'm suicidal and not having anyone else know. I got a rush off my 'secret' and coming onto this site.

Now I kind of want people to know that I'm not okay. I'm like... Half suicidal? It comes and goes in waves. I'm trying to say that I'm not okay, not that I know what anyone could do about it.

I don't want to tell people to get attention or anything, but I would just like someone to listen and acknowledge how I'm feeling. Even if they can't fix it. I feel like I'm the only person I know who feels like this. I know that's not true at all, but everyone else seems to be coping and I'd love to just know that I'm not a social anomaly.
 
Dead_Inside

Dead_Inside

Wizard
Jul 2, 2018
625
I hid my suicidal intentions very well ... but I failed my attempt. Thus everyone found out how I “feel”.
It’s got it’s good sides but a fuck load of bad ones.
The good people will change how they act with you - be more sensitive to not pushing you through stuff anymore. Understanding when you just can’t function etc.
The bad people are going to twist this into why you can’t get anything done, or how this is hurting everyone. How you need help - and the worst thing - when they tell you maybe it would be better for you to just do it.

It does open things up for a tiny bit of conversation- regular people don’t tolerate your suicidal plans and questions though. And you will have to answer how you are feeling all the time.

My experience has been that I wish I had not had my feelings exposed. People here don’t hurt me. But IRL? It’s horrible- the shit they have accidentally said is not ok. And I am not ok to hear it.
 
D

Deleted member 1768

Enlightened
Aug 15, 2018
1,108
Wow...boy...I only punch people after a seizure but I would seriously consider changing that if I met up with some of the jerks you are talking about. I do know what you mean though. I am so sorry Dead. The only good thing about this is finding out who you should get to know better. The more supportive of YOU the better. See if you can forget the creeps, guaranteed they will forget about you.
 
Dead_Inside

Dead_Inside

Wizard
Jul 2, 2018
625
Wow...boy...I only punch people after a seizure but I would seriously consider changing that if I met up with some of the jerks you are talking about. I do know what you mean though. I am so sorry Dead. The only good thing about this is finding out who you should get to know better. The more supportive of YOU the better. See if you can forget the creeps, guaranteed they will forget about you.
Thanks : )
The down side to everyone knowing, is that if I say stop, your hurting me. They just tell me I am hurting everyone else ... tell me I am saying things that hurt them.
Why would you fight and argue with a person you think is sick??
But I still crawl back, because I don’t know what else to do, I am so alone in my own head and I guess this is just what life is for me?
 
D

Deleted member 1768

Enlightened
Aug 15, 2018
1,108
People who have their minds made up before understanding comes are those full of ignorance, arrogant to a fault, and blind to different points of view. There are not many in the world who will sympathize with someone who's illness/disease/disorder cannot be seen. Too many. Add to that the thought that "it is all in their heads" and whoosh support is gone. But there are gems in the midst of the dust, and those are the ones to go back to. Few and far between I know, but they are there. Many will be too nervous and alone in themselves to venture forward, but there will be some I guarantee.
 
D

Deleted member 1768

Enlightened
Aug 15, 2018
1,108
I've gone through a few phases recently. The first was enjoying the fact that I'm suicidal and not having anyone else know. I got a rush off my 'secret' and coming onto this site.

Now I kind of want people to know that I'm not okay. I'm like... Half suicidal? It comes and goes in waves. I'm trying to say that I'm not okay, not that I know what anyone could do about it.

I don't want to tell people to get attention or anything, but I would just like someone to listen and acknowledge how I'm feeling. Even if they can't fix it. I feel like I'm the only person I know who feels like this. I know that's not true at all, but everyone else seems to be coping and I'd love to just know that I'm not a social anomaly.
On reading your post again Bacon I wonder if you see anyone around you sitting alone on a regular basis. That is what most of US do all of the time. You may find a friend/listener that way...someone who feels that terrible isolation as do you. Two minds as one.
 
Last edited:
Caustic Cardinals

Caustic Cardinals

Enlightened
Sep 1, 2018
1,340
I've gone through a few phases recently. The first was enjoying the fact that I'm suicidal and not having anyone else know. I got a rush off my 'secret' and coming onto this site.

Now I kind of want people to know that I'm not okay. I'm like... Half suicidal? It comes and goes in waves. I'm trying to say that I'm not okay, not that I know what anyone could do about it.

I don't want to tell people to get attention or anything, but I would just like someone to listen and acknowledge how I'm feeling. Even if they can't fix it. I feel like I'm the only person I know who feels like this. I know that's not true at all, but everyone else seems to be coping and I'd love to just know that I'm not a social anomaly.


Im not ok Im not ok Im not ok Im not ok Oh look a shiny
 
D

Deleted member 1768

Enlightened
Aug 15, 2018
1,108
Hope you liked that Caustic. Hats off to you...smile.
 
D

Deleted member 1768

Enlightened
Aug 15, 2018
1,108
do you truly, think so? or is this kind of reverse fishing thing?
I really do mean it Caustic. You are one of the best writers I have ever seen. As for fishing. If you are referring to me then I must be doing a really good job with the editing...smile. I am not a good writer Caustic, but you are precise, concise and extremely witty. An original that is you...smile.
 
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D

Deleted member 1768

Enlightened
Aug 15, 2018
1,108
Have you never published Caustic? You should.
 
Caustic Cardinals

Caustic Cardinals

Enlightened
Sep 1, 2018
1,340
I really do mean it Caustic. You are one of the best writers I have ever seen. As for fishing. If you are referring to me then I must be doing a really good job with the editing...smile. I am not a good writer Caustic, but you are precise, concise and extremely witty. An original that is you...smile.

if you'er looking for a bj you had me at [QUOTE=
 
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F

Firefly1

Member
Aug 30, 2018
42
I've gone through a few phases recently. The first was enjoying the fact that I'm suicidal and not having anyone else know. I got a rush off my 'secret' and coming onto this site.

Now I kind of want people to know that I'm not okay. I'm like... Half suicidal? It comes and goes in waves. I'm trying to say that I'm not okay, not that I know what anyone could do about it.

I don't want to tell people to get attention or anything, but I would just like someone to listen and acknowledge how I'm feeling. Even if they can't fix it. I feel like I'm the only person I know who feels like this. I know that's not true at all, but everyone else seems to be coping and I'd love to just know that I'm not a social anomaly.
You are NOT a social anomaly by any means. I have a friend who had a similar problem...it took her time but finally she confided in some of her best friends including me and we were really able to help her. I agree we tend to get overprotective at times but it was still great for her to have someone to really talk with without any filter. I think something like this can really help you too.
 
BaconCheeseburger

BaconCheeseburger

Comfort-eating
Aug 4, 2018
689
You are NOT a social anomaly by any means. I have a friend who had a similar problem...it took her time but finally she confided in some of her best friends including me and we were really able to help her. I agree we tend to get overprotective at times but it was still great for her to have someone to really talk with without any filter. I think something like this can really help you too.
I need someone I can talk to like that, but I don't want to run the risk of getting authorities involved. I just want to say that I have these feelings and they feel right.
 
F

Firefly1

Member
Aug 30, 2018
42
I need someone I can talk to like that, but I don't want to run the risk of getting authorities involved. I just want to say that I have these feelings and they feel right.
Why don't you talk to your friends?...or if not you can always talk to us. I would love to be able to help you in this
 
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