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Aaron

Aaron

Member
Jul 2, 2018
63
After cutting myself off from everything I've been located away from population and have only lived a virtual life for the past 3 years. I have a bad rep for my name for various stuff from that period.

*storytime*
It was mostly because I found myself stranded in the city at night with no means of transportation after losing my all of my money. I felt like going for a lookout for some weed with last of my cash to pass the boring night with (I normally just order). I ended up joining a group of restaurant workers who were drinking at the place after closing. We smoke drank and talked about random shit till morning. I supposedly have foreign accent.. great.

anyways
I couldn't really had a honest story about myself for what had I been doing or who I am. People like me are not welcomed back to the local community where word goes around. You don't expect people to be open with you treat you as normal. All the lies you have to tell to even have a normal conversation with a stranger. These kind of relationships are never meant to last and your digging yourself into a deeper hole.

Sorry if you think this was boring or pointless read but it's something that hasn't happened to me in years.

I'm curious to hear if any of you have had similar experiences or thoughts about society.
 
Desperate_Soul

Desperate_Soul

I'll See You Guys On The Other Side Of The Rainbow
Aug 26, 2018
1,980
I don't know if this answering the thread, but your story reminded me of something. I remember those times in school where the teacher made students write about what they did over vacation. Instead of writing out what I actually did... which was stay in bed and play games all day... I made up a story about going on holiday, going to the beach, the mall, hanging out with friends, played arcade games, went to an amusement, to the zoo, etc.
 
Aaron

Aaron

Member
Jul 2, 2018
63
I don't know if this answering the thread, but your story reminded me of something. I remember those times in school where the teacher made students write about what they did over vacation. Instead of writing out what I actually did... which was stay in bed and play games all day... I made up a story about going on holiday, going to the beach, the mall, hanging out with friends, played arcade games, went to an amusement, to the zoo, etc.
Yes it's really sad. You acknowledge that your are living a life of desperation loneliness and misery but you are unable to succeed to do anything about it in the long term. I feel like I don't want to be around but I haven't been able to successfully ctb (obviously).
 
L

Living_Ghost

Student
Aug 13, 2018
182
Yes it's really sad. You acknowledge that your are living a life of desperation loneliness and misery but you are unable to succeed to do anything about it in the long term. I feel like I don't want to be around but I haven't been able to successfully ctb (obviously).

Same here . I met a girl a few years ago on one of my rare ventures out . A really nice attractive younger girl. And she liked something about me .And I was smitten instantly . But . I and her quickly realised I had no back story . I mean how do you explain a missing decade of normal events , friendships , successful relationships ,ect ect ect . I tried a couple of dates with her but knew I was doomed.It was humiliating in the end trying to lie and invent some shit to look less of a loser . I hardly left the house since in the last 3 years . Don't do isolation people, if you have any intent on staying alive.
 
N

Nofaith

...
Sep 16, 2018
343
Same here . I met a girl a few years ago on one of my rare ventures out . A really nice attractive younger girl. And she liked something about me .And I was smitten instantly . But . I and her quickly realised I had no back story . I mean how do you explain a missing decade of normal events , friendships , successful relationships ,ect ect ect . I tried a couple of dates with her but knew I was doomed.It was humiliating in the end trying to lie and invent some shit to look less of a loser . I hardly left the house since in the last 3 years . Don't do isolation people, if you have any intent on staying alive.
That is so true about having to explain yourself. Especially when the other person is talking about all the things they do, places they go and people they interact with and you've got... *crickets*.
 
B

Ben

-
Sep 12, 2018
785
After cutting myself off from everything I've been located away from population and have only lived a virtual life for the past 3 years. I have a bad rep for my name for various stuff from that period.

*storytime*
It was mostly because I found myself stranded in the city at night with no means of transportation after losing my all of my money. I felt like going for a lookout for some weed with last of my cash to pass the boring night with (I normally just order). I ended up joining a group of restaurant workers who were drinking at the place after closing. We smoke drank and talked about random shit till morning. I supposedly have foreign accent.. great.

anyways
I couldn't really had a honest story about myself for what had I been doing or who I am. People like me are not welcomed back to the local community where word goes around. You don't expect people to be open with you treat you as normal. All the lies you have to tell to even have a normal conversation with a stranger. These kind of relationships are never meant to last and your digging yourself into a deeper hole.

Sorry if you think this was boring or pointless read but it's something that hasn't happened to me in years.

I'm curious to hear if any of you have had similar experiences or thoughts about society.

3 years??? I haven’t been in a social environment in 6 months and I’ve already forgotten about it!

At least we can be among people here. It bits real life, but it still means a lot to me :)
 
L

Living_Ghost

Student
Aug 13, 2018
182
3 years??? I haven’t been in a social environment in 6 months and I’ve already forgotten about it!

At least we can be among people here. It bits real life, but it still means a lot to me :)
I mean I do go out to work but I don't really meet or chat with people at all .And I ain't socialised in 3 years .I have just locked myself away . I mean I can be quite content mostly ,but its a catch 22 situation .When I do venture out into this shit world full of cunts it's more and more difficult ! But I can't pretend to be normal .and I can't live as a hermit without going insane, so suicide it is .
 
B

Ben

-
Sep 12, 2018
785
I mean I do go out to work but I don't really meet or chat with people at all .And I ain't socialised in 3 years .I have just locked myself away . I mean I can be quite content mostly ,but its a catch 22 situation .When I do venture out into this shit world full of cunts it's more and more difficult ! But I can't pretend to be normal .and I can't live as a hermit without going insane, so suicide it is .

I understand. I’ve been in hermit mode. I’ll be free of it soon enough.
 
N

Nofaith

...
Sep 16, 2018
343
I mean I do go out to work but I don't really meet or chat with people at all .And I ain't socialised in 3 years .I have just locked myself away . I mean I can be quite content mostly ,but its a catch 22 situation .When I do venture out into this shit world full of cunts it's more and more difficult ! But I can't pretend to be normal .and I can't live as a hermit without going insane, so suicide it is .

I think I could handle being a hermit, as long as I was comfortable. If I had my own place in the middle of nowhere and was financially secure you wouldn't see me for dust.
 
Red star

Red star

-
Sep 15, 2018
208
I think I could handle being a hermit, as long as I was comfortable. If I had my own place in the middle of nowhere and was financially secure you wouldn't see me for dust.

Same until the day we run out of groceries
 
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Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
Same here . I met a girl a few years ago on one of my rare ventures out . A really nice attractive younger girl. And she liked something about me .And I was smitten instantly . But . I and her quickly realised I had no back story . I mean how do you explain a missing decade of normal events , friendships , successful relationships ,ect ect ect . I tried a couple of dates with her but knew I was doomed.It was humiliating in the end trying to lie and invent some shit to look less of a loser . I hardly left the house since in the last 3 years . Don't do isolation people, if you have any intent on staying alive.
I’ve done it for 10 years
 
Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
I mean I do go out to work but I don't really meet or chat with people at all .And I ain't socialised in 3 years .I have just locked myself away . I mean I can be quite content mostly ,but its a catch 22 situation .When I do venture out into this shit world full of cunts it's more and more difficult ! But I can't pretend to be normal .and I can't live as a hermit without going insane, so suicide it is .
How do you know when you’re insane after living as a hermit?
 
RottingFlowerBrains

RottingFlowerBrains

-
Sep 10, 2018
193
I don't know if this answering the thread, but your story reminded me of something. I remember those times in school where the teacher made students write about what they did over vacation. Instead of writing out what I actually did... which was stay in bed and play games all day... I made up a story about going on holiday, going to the beach, the mall, hanging out with friends, played arcade games, went to an amusement, to the zoo, etc.
I did this as a small child once. I just didn't have anything to put that I had really done apart from stay at home with my mother and siblings. My dad was at work.
I remember I said we had had a picnic gone swimming camped while roasting marshmallows and played Tenis haha I was only 8. I wanted to be like the other children.. I never was anxiety ruined my childhood although it was not my fault I was subjected to a environment of stress and constant fear. I went onto ruin my teenage and adult years :) :) :) I take responsibility. I just get sad when I'm this lonely. I am by myself mostly much like others. I have one decent friend but she is younger then me but the closest I've ever got to real friendship apart from my ex Cj but that's the nostalgia speaking because I am still so hopelessly in love with him. He's a stranger now.. I don't know him these days. But I love who he was and I love the cage that he is embedded in.

Blah blah ignore me this is mostly for my own release. I started by answering to your post.. anyway just was saying samsies on the lying.