DreamingOfAutumn

DreamingOfAutumn

Member
Jun 15, 2022
14
I intend to CTB in the very near future, and it's not the fear of dying or fear of any potential pain which gives me the most pause, but rather that I can't tell people how I feel and what I intend to do while still being able to make the choice for myself. In absence of being able to say goodbye to their faces, I'm going to leave a series of about 20 audio recordings to talk about why I did it, and to say goodbye to my parents especially.

It's just sad that I live in a society where I can't be honest about what I intend to do, can't say a proper goodbye, and have to leave my body in a horrific state for my family along with whoever finds me, just to ensure that the method is properly lethal and so I don't have to risk hospitalization making it harder to CTB in the future.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She dreams of eternal sleep
Sep 24, 2020
12,392
I do wish that we lived in a world where our right to die is respected and suicide is not so stigmatised. Your feelings are understandable. I do think that it would make it more bearable for those left behind grieving if they knew about what was going to happen in advance and had time to come to terms with the persons decision. Euthanasia should be legalised everywhere, no one should have to be traumatised by finding a body. It is cruel how the society denies people the option of a peaceful and reliable exit.
 
VerbalWinter

VerbalWinter

manga elitist
Dec 25, 2021
21
I intend to CTB in the very near future, and it's not the fear of dying or fear of any potential pain which gives me the most pause, but rather that I can't tell people how I feel and what I intend to do while still being able to make the choice for myself. In absence of being able to say goodbye to their faces, I'm going to leave a series of about 20 audio recordings to talk about why I did it, and to say goodbye to my parents especially.

It's just sad that I live in a society where I can't be honest about what I intend to do, can't say a proper goodbye, and have to leave my body in a horrific state for my family along with whoever finds me, just to ensure that the method is properly lethal and so I don't have to risk hospitalization making it harder to CTB in the future.
People who truly care about you can't process having their loved one pretty much say "I'm going to disappear forever, and there's a chance we won't ever see each other again (if an afterlife doesn't exist)". So it is understandable why they would be against the idea of you dying if you were honest with them.
That being said, I'm not sure how close you are with your parents, so I don't want to assume anything. I don't have parents who care, so it's hard to put myself in your shoes entirely, but I do hope you find peace with whatever decision you decide to make.
 
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