N

noname223

Enlightened
Aug 18, 2020
1,183
Soon I will leave college, my recovery attempt failed. I told a friend in college I won't stay long most likely. He is maybe the smartest guy in my course of 200 students. But for sure he is the most engaged student. I explained my situation to him. He send me a long message. He is pretty much a nice guy a little bit social justice warrior. He really acknowledges my illness. which is not self-evident. He is very empathetic and tries to help me.

However his last message was a bit annoying. I have not told him that. He said things like my life experience tells me there is always a solution if you try hard enough. Yeah if you are the most succesful student, never had serious (health) problems and have a wonderful family/partner it is easy to say that. He sounded like my therapists. Very naive about life. This illness must not determine your life. So many people have told me that shit. What shall I do if studying or working makes me severly ill, Currently I have a strong sleeping disorder since 3 months. I could ignore it. But then I will have to go into clinic in 2 months due to a new psychosis or mania. Sometimes there simply is no solution. I have tried to recover endless times. He told me there is light in the end of that tunnel. I could have anwered with Slavoj Zizek. Yes there is light. There is another train which will crash into me.
 
miserableforever

miserableforever

Experienced
Oct 23, 2020
204
Soon I will leave college, my recovery attempt failed. I told a friend in college I won't stay long most likely. He is maybe the smartest guy in my course of 200 students. But for sure he is the most engaged student. I explained my situation to him. He send me a long message. He is pretty much a nice guy a little bit social justice warrior. He really acknowledges my illness. which is not self-evident. He is very empathetic and tries to help me.

However his last message was a bit annoying. I have not told him that. He said things like my life experience tells me there is always a solution if you try hard enough. Yeah if you are the most succesful student, never had serious (health) problems and have a wonderful family/partner it is easy to say that. He sounded like my therapists. Very naive about life. This illness must not determine your life. So many people have told me that shit. What shall I do if studying or working makes me severly ill, Currently I have a strong sleeping disorder since 3 months. I could ignore it. But then I will have to go into clinic in 2 months due to a new psychosis or mania. Sometimes there simply is no solution. I have tried to recover endless times. He told me there is light in the end of that tunnel. I could have anwered with Slavoj Zizek. Yes there is light. There is another train which will crash into me.
Haha I like that one, never heard it before.

Anyway, I understand. It’s always the same conversation in the end ‘try one more time, you got this, other people have it worse, there are so many meds, just find friends and go out more’
Not sure about you but I get sick around others, can’t stand physical closeness to other humans. It’s a tough thing to have when life demands just that pretty much all day.
I’m sorry about your friend. They can’t help it and are most likely only trying to make you feel better. I would retreat a little for a while, I always do when people are too suggestive.
I hope you can figure it out.
 
hotelbeneathground

hotelbeneathground

so gay.
Apr 13, 2021
5,027
He said things like my life experience tells me there is always a solution if you try hard enough. Yeah if you are the most succesful student, never had serious (health) problems and have a wonderful family/partner it is easy to say that. He sounded like my therapists. Very naive about life. This illness must not determine your life. So many people have told me that shit.

I don't understand why it's so hard for people who don't have a clue what prolonged suffering is like to do nothing but listen. Platitudes really piss me off. 🙄
 
Rational man

Rational man

Experienced
Oct 19, 2021
256
Soon I will leave college, my recovery attempt failed. I told a friend in college I won't stay long most likely. He is maybe the smartest guy in my course of 200 students. But for sure he is the most engaged student. I explained my situation to him. He send me a long message. He is pretty much a nice guy a little bit social justice warrior. He really acknowledges my illness. which is not self-evident. He is very empathetic and tries to help me.

However his last message was a bit annoying. I have not told him that. He said things like my life experience tells me there is always a solution if you try hard enough. Yeah if you are the most succesful student, never had serious (health) problems and have a wonderful family/partner it is easy to say that. He sounded like my therapists. Very naive about life. This illness must not determine your life. So many people have told me that shit. What shall I do if studying or working makes me severly ill, Currently I have a strong sleeping disorder since 3 months. I could ignore it. But then I will have to go into clinic in 2 months due to a new psychosis or mania. Sometimes there simply is no solution. I have tried to recover endless times. He told me there is light in the end of that tunnel. I could have anwered with Slavoj Zizek. Yes there is light. There is another train which will crash into me.
i don't let my illness define who I am. After all, I am a multifaceted creature !?. There maybe a solution or maybe not. But importantly, i really dont think many people understand our pain unless they find themselves 'wearing our shoes'. Its easy to soundbite words, but we need to feel those words to get it.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

I want to sleep for an eternity
Sep 24, 2020
6,055
Hard work does not mean much in a life like this, where chance and luck determines everything. Many people are disadvantaged through no fault of their own, and sometimes things are hopeless and there is nothing you can do to help the situation. I think people who have not suffered in similar ways will never be able to comprehend what it is like. Some people are clearly delusional, they do not want to face the harsh reality that things can get that bad for some people, they are in denial. I also believe that platitudes invalidate the suffering that people are going through.
 
G

Glovkenspiel

Arcanist
Nov 12, 2021
426
Hard work does not mean much in a life like this, where chance and luck determines everything. Many people are disadvantaged through no fault of their own, and sometimes things are hopeless and there is nothing you can do to help the situation. I think people who have not suffered in similar ways will never be able to comprehend what it is like. Some people are clearly delusional, they do not want to face the harsh reality that things can get that bad for some people, they are in denial. I also believe that platitudes invalidate the suffering that people are going through.
I think for some people – those with chronic illness, old age and extreme poverty it’s absolutely true that there’s pretty much no way out. But in the United States, hard work and I a clever strategy will definitely get you ahead. But you’ve got to have the motivation and persistence. I don’t seem to have that anymore. I just don’t care and I take full responsibility for the outcome.
 
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N

noname223

Enlightened
Aug 18, 2020
1,183
I think for some people – those with chronic illness, old age and extreme poverty it’s absolutely true that there’s pretty much no way out. But in the United States, hard work and I a clever strategy will definitely get you ahead. But you’ve got to have the motivation and persistence. I don’t seem to have that anymore. I just don’t care and I take full responsibility for the outcome.
I do not live in the states. But I fully disagree. (On the part how to get successful in the US) We should not get too political on here (despite the fact I love politics) Just one thing: Just think about how most of the rich people get their money from. It is inherited.
 
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G

Glovkenspiel

Arcanist
Nov 12, 2021
426
I do not live in the states. But I fully disagree. We should not get too political on here (despite the fact I love politics) Just one thing: Just think about how most of the rich people get their money from. It is inherited.
Mostly - in the US you can Work your ass off and make your way into the upper class for sure… It’s not easy but it’s possible
 
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Rogue Proxy

Rogue Proxy

Student
Sep 12, 2021
155
I don't understand why it's so hard for people who don't have a clue what prolonged suffering is like to do nothing but listen. Platitudes really piss me off. 🙄
Never underestimate human stupidity. Most humans are mindless, social robots that don't run on logic or intelligence, but instead, blindly mimic every action, emotion, and word from the majority and high-ranking humans.
 
eternalmelancholy

eternalmelancholy

waiting for the bus
Mar 24, 2021
901
This is a common thing that will always happen. People with normal lives, good mental health, social approval and good life experiences will never understand the point of view of people like us.


They will never understand. How could they? This is why I refuse to engage in these types of conversations. It is absolutely pointless and all you are going to hear is empty platitudes from people who just don't get it.
 
hotelbeneathground

hotelbeneathground

so gay.
Apr 13, 2021
5,027
Mostly - in the US you can Work your ass off and make your way into the upper class for sure… It’s not easy but it’s possible
But in the United States, hard work and I a clever strategy will definitely get you ahead.
Hmmm... Let me guess: you're middle class & at least middle-aged.
 
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zeroornothing

zeroornothing

Enlightened
Jun 22, 2021
1,061
This is a common thing that will always happen. People with normal lives, good mental health, social approval and good life experiences will never understand the point of view of people like us.
Worse than understanding is that they judge us harshly for falling short. They think that by overcoming small obstacles that life has thrown at them gives them the right to look down on anyone who cant overcome their obstacles even if the two dont compare
 
hotelbeneathground

hotelbeneathground

so gay.
Apr 13, 2021
5,027
Worse than understanding is that they judge us harshly for falling short. They think that by overcoming small obstacles that life has thrown at them gives them the right to look down on anyone who cant overcome their obstacles even if the two dont compare
"You're just choosing to be unmotivated & lazy. Try/work harder & success is guaranteed." It's disturbing that so many people, especially in the US, still buy into that crap & think that something's wrong with them because they can't get ahead in life even though it's clear that the "American/Western dream" has been dead for at least two decades now.
 
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Hidden Base

Hidden Base

Enlightened
Apr 5, 2020
1,099
The phrase has enough ambiguity that people who use it could always justify their use of it. But regardless of how one defines "try", "hard", or "solution", it's not clear that a solution actually exists for every problem out there.
 
G

Glovkenspiel

Arcanist
Nov 12, 2021
426
Yup, you were born into a middle-class family & you're at least middle-aged? No offense, but that probably means you shouldn't speak for working-class folks & young adults just like the healthy shouldn't speak for the chronically ill..
Let me clarify. It seems to me and I could be wrong, but it’s extremely difficult for members of the lower classes to ever get ahead in the United States. My father did. But that was a long time ago. Maybe that’s not possible anymore. Maybe it’s simply absolutely 100% impossible. I wouldn’t know.
 
hotelbeneathground

hotelbeneathground

so gay.
Apr 13, 2021
5,027
The phrase has enough ambiguity that people who use it could always justify their use of it. But regardless of how one defines "try", "hard", or "solution", it's not clear that a solution actually exists for every problem out there.
Isn't it interesting how the overwhelming majority of people who speak in platitudes would never ever, under no circumstances, consider a dignified assisted suicide something that could be defined as a valid solution?
 
KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

my existence is a momentary lapse of reason
Nov 23, 2020
875
Responses like that do nothing but illicit a thousand internal eye rolls. If you ask them exactly how you're meant to claw your way out of the situation and overcome the impasse, they have no wisdom to impart on you. Only artificial cookie cutter platitudes that might as well have rolled off the tongue of a self-help motivational guru salesman rather than a trusted friend.

I wish they could be more understanding of the troubles you face as a result of your illness. Unfortunately, it seems that invalidating behavior is enclded into most people, no other perspectives can compute due to their rigid philosophical programming.

One of my housemates said similar bullshit to me yesterday, actually. She said if I keep waiting for a moment where I feel slightly better or less tired, that I will never go out, meet people, and do things. It is easy for her to say that when she doesn't have incurable chronic illnesses. They will never understand what we go through, because they can't even conceive it.
 
Chronicillness

Chronicillness

Student
Jun 19, 2018
160
Isn't it interesting how the overwhelming majority of people who speak in platitudes would never ever, under no circumstances, consider a dignified assisted suicide something that could be defined as a valid solution?

They wouldn't consider assisted suicide as a logical nor rational means to an end for someone they deem fixable (which they perceive everybody as fixable) in their current disposition, no. We should acknowledge their naivety as the answer as to why they say the things they do, because naivety and ignorance breed happiness, something we'd all kill for.

I'd kill for that level of blissful inexperience and ignorance. Everyone has their limit of sensory torture, it's just that the limit is different for everyone, and the ones who serve platitudes on a silver platter to every man or woman dealing with one of life's most daunting conundrums genuinely believe there's a solution for everyone, simply because they have not been met with a perfect storm of sensory torture for a prolonged period of time with no end in sight. After an indefinite amount of time experiencing extreme and indescribable sensory torture, it's their resolve that keeps them alive amongst the torturous attrition—not logic—because the logical fix would be to terminate the conscious experience to terminate the inhumane suffering.

Naivety, inexperience and ignorance TYPIFY the majority of our anti-suicide populace.
 
hotelbeneathground

hotelbeneathground

so gay.
Apr 13, 2021
5,027
It's super annoying when people think they have the answer that has eluded you your entire life.

i want to murder people that think like this

I murder them with words & death stares every chance I get. :))


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