E

Endoge

New Member
May 15, 2018
3
I'm 26 and lonely. I've never had a partner before and am a virgin. Sometimes I feel this immense need to be with, bond, and love someone and be loved back by them. It's this sorta indescribable feeling. It just hurts. I feel like my life is not worth living if I'm not with someone. The misery gets too much to handle sometimes and I feel extremely suicidal. I'd rather die now than continue this suffering till, say, the age of 40.

The prospects of me getting a partner are nonexistent. I'm ugly. I have tried several times before, the latest bring yesterday, and have always failed. The fact that I'll never be able to experience young love saddens me. I've lost on so many experiences, feelings, good times being stuck on problems of physics and engineering. I feel like my life is ruined.


The constant thoughts of me being lonely and dying without ever experiencing love or intimacy have turned me somewhat depressive. There's come up this general dissatisfaction with living. I find nothing interesting. I haven't been to work for days. The thoughts of suicide occupy my mind for a good part of the day.

I just wanted your opinions if it's a sane or wise decision to end one's life simply because they were too lonely to live.
 
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FullFat

FullFat

^best order at Micky-D's ever
Apr 27, 2018
375
You have the final word on what is worth dying or living for. It is not my place to dictate to someone how they should decide. That said, you are in good company; loneliness is a very common reason for suicide.

I'm also a forever alone type. 25 years old and a virgin. To cope with being FA, I try to focus on the many negatives involved with a relationship. I know full well that I couldn't handle it. I'm too unstable and unlikable. I can't hold onto anybody for any length of time besides desperate pushovers (who deserve better). With my plethora of mental health issues and extreme rage, it wouldn't be right to drag somebody into my life and make them a victim, and I don't think the benefit of having them around could possibly outweigh the cost of their inevitable desertion. I look at how bad my parents' marriage is and think about how that'd be just the tip of the iceberg if I got in a relationship. Theirs should never have happened, and I would still manage marriage infinitely worse. My brother may do okay in his marriage, but I am not going to repeat the same mistakes of my parents.

I still hold out a little bit of hope for FWB situation or casual sex, but I'm not holding my breath. As a girl whose looks are just below average, I could probably lose my V card pretty easily, but there's not much point if I wouldn't enjoy myself. My sex drive is low and I find most guys repulsive, so I can only envision myself going through with it while thoroughly wasted. With another woman? Maybe. Hard to dodge the U-Haul lesbian problem though, at least around here.
 
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Mad

Mad

Actually just sad
Mar 21, 2018
155
Depends on the person, some people can't stand being alone, let alone die alone. Some others can live their whole life without giving too many fucks. If you actually get suicidal thoughts just from being alone you might be in for a world not worth suffering for. I will that, however, you take some more time salvaging it experimenting with your state of mind; I'll give you a thought experiment.

People are pieces of shits, you should know this by now, so let's embrace it. Show the rest of the world no respect since they won't give you any. Don't rely on others and learn to really not give a fuck about others, this will hopefully make you care less about being lonely since you don't look up to anybody you want to be with. This might cause you more suffering, so give it some thought, the only reason why I'm recommending this is because if it succeeds you won't at least be dead.
 
E

Endoge

New Member
May 15, 2018
3
You have the final word on what is worth dying or living for. It is not my place to dictate to someone how they should decide. That said, you are in good company; loneliness is a very common reason for suicide.

I'm also a forever alone type. 25 years old and a virgin. To cope with being FA, I try to focus on the many negatives involved with a relationship. I know full well that I couldn't handle it. I'm too unstable and unlikable. I can't hold onto anybody for any length of time besides desperate pushovers (who deserve better). With my plethora of mental health issues and extreme rage, it wouldn't be right to drag somebody into my life and make them a victim, and I don't think the benefit of having them around could possibly outweigh the cost of their inevitable desertion. I look at how bad my parents' marriage is and think about how that'd be just the tip of the iceberg if I got in a relationship. Theirs should never have happened, and I would still manage marriage infinitely worse. My brother may do okay in his marriage, but I am not going to repeat the same mistakes of my parents.

I still hold out a little bit of hope for FWB situation or casual sex, but I'm not holding my breath. As a girl whose looks are just below average, I could probably lose my V card pretty easily, but there's not much point if I wouldn't enjoy myself. My sex drive is low and I find most guys repulsive, so I can only envision myself going through with it while thoroughly wasted. With another woman? Maybe. Hard to dodge the U-Haul lesbian problem though, at least around here.

Thanks for the well reasoned response. I never gave much though to the negative aspects of relationships. Thinking about those really puts things into a different perspective. I'm certain I don't want the burdens that come with a relationship or a marriage. I don't want kids either.
I need some more time thinking what exactly am I chasing here.
 
E

Endoge

New Member
May 15, 2018
3
Depends on the person, some people can't stand being alone, let alone die alone. Some others can live their whole life without giving too many fucks. If you actually get suicidal thoughts just from being alone you might be in for a world not worth suffering for. I will that, however, you take some more time salvaging it experimenting with your state of mind; I'll give you a thought experiment.

People are pieces of shits, you should know this by now, so let's embrace it. Show the rest of the world no respect since they won't give you any. Don't rely on others and learn to really not give a fuck about others, this will hopefully make you care less about being lonely since you don't look up to anybody you want to be with. This might cause you more suffering, so give it some thought, the only reason why I'm recommending this is because if it succeeds you won't at least be dead.


I've always thought that I do better alone. I don't like people. I'd consider myself an anti-social, but it could just be the effect of my low self-esteem caused by my looks.

Sometimes I feel like I'm missing on a great many experiences. Like going out on a road trip with someone you love, or listening to music together, or the physical intimacy. I know these are very clichéd reasons to live for, but somehow they're very enticing to me.

I can fairly easily connect to your thought experiment and can see myself adopting it. I need to give myself some more time to think. Thanks again.
 
A

Aity4883

.
Mar 28, 2018
209
I'm 26 and lonely. I've never had a partner before and am a virgin. Sometimes I feel this immense need to be with, bond, and love someone and be loved back by them. It's this sorta indescribable feeling. It just hurts. I feel like my life is not worth living if I'm not with someone. The misery gets too much to handle sometimes and I feel extremely suicidal. I'd rather die now than continue this suffering till, say, the age of 40.

The prospects of me getting a partner are nonexistent. I'm ugly. I have tried several times before, the latest bring yesterday, and have always failed. The fact that I'll never be able to experience young love saddens me. I've lost on so many experiences, feelings, good times being stuck on problems of physics and engineering. I feel like my life is ruined.


The constant thoughts of me being lonely and dying without ever experiencing love or intimacy have turned me somewhat depressive. There's come up this general dissatisfaction with living. I find nothing interesting. I haven't been to work for days. The thoughts of suicide occupy my mind for a good part of the day.

I just wanted your opinions if it's a sane or wise decision to end one's life simply because they were too lonely to live.

Can your problem be fixed?
Yes

Then try to
fix it

You say you want to love and experience back love. Why not adopt a cat, dog, raccoon, rabbit, duck...etc? A pet will offer you uncoditional love if you take care of them and love them. Honestly, the happiness in a dog's eyes to see you is an amazing feeling. So maybe a pet could fill up a large hole in your heart.

Another thing is you can love friends. You can make friends. Surely you have hobies. You can meet people online and skype them, or where you live meet them in real life. Anything. Table tennis, anime,video games, partying, wood carving...etc
Just look for clubs or people with that interest in your area. The internet is a great tool.

About the partner part. You can change. Everyone can say "I'm ugly" and maybe your body is. But you know that in today's world you can become good looking by most people's standards.
Getting in shape, eating healthy and having a helthy lifestyle for skin, nails, eyes, hair to look good and strong. Surgeries for nose, jaw, cheekbones...etc Veeneers, fake teeth...etc

Honestly. You can do anything and become good looking in say 5 years. If you are dedicated to it.

My whole point is that your problems, from what you said here, can be solved. So if that's the case then maybe it isn't the best idea to leave this world yet. Maybe you should try it once more, give it 110%. Who cares what others think? Worst case scenario you just end it sooner.

Think about this well
 
lost illusions

lost illusions

bye
Sep 12, 2018
550
I was fit, 210lb, 6ft 4 and 3%body fat in school. I looked good. I was nice and a gentleman. I didn't lose my v card til 25, fresh out of boot, working 16 hour days living in my dam truck. The ONLY reason I got laid was this older women used play to bring me in. I became her income source and servant. Thats it. 3 years I tried to be lovable, respectable, somebody worthy of life. Instead I was pimping myself out for nothing. You might think my situation was better but its not. Get love if you can, alone is still better then being used. If use and disrespect yourself, its a lot harder to get your respect back. We all are our worst critic.
 
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MissLisa

MissLisa

Student
Sep 13, 2018
138
That's really sad to read. You are still young, life changes all the time. If that is your only reason for suicide then definitely wait awhile. There will be people in the world that will see your beauty. I'm sure there is someone out there for you. It must be tough getting knocked back but keep trying. I have known people that were single for many, many years but then find someone. Give it a chance, if loneliness is your only reason and you want to love, then give it chance so you can experience love.
 
Caustic Cardinals

Caustic Cardinals

Enlightened
Sep 1, 2018
1,340
That's really sad to read. You are still young, life changes all the time. If that is your only reason for suicide then definitely wait awhile. There will be people in the world that will see your beauty. I'm sure there is someone out there for you. It must be tough getting knocked back but keep trying. I have known people that were single for many, many years but then find someone. Give it a chance, if loneliness is your only reason and you want to love, then give it chance so you can experience love.
I'm 26 and lonely. I've never had a partner before and am a virgin. Sometimes I feel this immense need to be with, bond, and love someone and be loved back by them. It's this sorta indescribable feeling. It just hurts. I feel like my life is not worth living if I'm not with someone. The misery gets too much to handle sometimes and I feel extremely suicidal. I'd rather die now than continue this suffering till, say, the age of 40.

The prospects of me getting a partner are nonexistent. I'm ugly. I have tried several times before, the latest bring yesterday, and have always failed. The fact that I'll never be able to experience young love saddens me. I've lost on so many experiences, feelings, good times being stuck on problems of physics and engineering. I feel like my life is ruined.


The constant thoughts of me being lonely and dying without ever experiencing love or intimacy have turned me somewhat depressive. There's come up this general dissatisfaction with living. I find nothing interesting. I haven't been to work for days. The thoughts of suicide occupy my mind for a good part of the day.

I just wanted your opinions if it's a sane or wise decision to end one's life simply because they were too lonely to live.




thats my main thing
 
throwaway123

throwaway123

Hell0
Aug 5, 2018
1,445
Yes. In my view it is but you have to decide yourself. If you're asking you don't really want to die.
 
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Deleted member 2141

Deleted member 2141

The angel of choice is enduring.
Aug 30, 2018
5,309
It is up to you to determine whether it is worth it or not. I'm pretty isolated and lonely IRL as well; I don't have any real friends. While I wouldn't ctb just on loneliness and isolation alone, it is another reason in my list of reasons for wanting to ctb.
 
bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,550
My loneliness causes me most of my pain
tumblr_n0z1ggcWiA1qboo5ao1_500.gif
 
windingdown

windingdown

Specialist
Sep 10, 2018
368
I'm 26 and lonely. I've never had a partner before and am a virgin. Sometimes I feel this immense need to be with, bond, and love someone and be loved back by them. It's this sorta indescribable feeling. It just hurts. I feel like my life is not worth living if I'm not with someone. The misery gets too much to handle sometimes and I feel extremely suicidal. I'd rather die now than continue this suffering till, say, the age of 40.

The prospects of me getting a partner are nonexistent. I'm ugly. I have tried several times before, the latest bring yesterday, and have always failed. The fact that I'll never be able to experience young love saddens me. I've lost on so many experiences, feelings, good times being stuck on problems of physics and engineering. I feel like my life is ruined.


The constant thoughts of me being lonely and dying without ever experiencing love or intimacy have turned me somewhat depressive. There's come up this general dissatisfaction with living. I find nothing interesting. I haven't been to work for days. The thoughts of suicide occupy my mind for a good part of the day.

I just wanted your opinions if it's a sane or wise decision to end one's life simply because they were too lonely to live.
As far as being ugly goes, if you look around, you will see that the majority of human beings are not very attractive. Especially in the U.S., most people are overweight, for one. Since there are so many people who aren't very attractive, if you don't have the highest standards for someone else's looks, below-average looks shouldn't exclude you from relationships. Have you thought about online dating?

Having experienced love doesn't necessarily make life worth living in the future, if the love ends. I have had really lovely long-term relationships, but they are over. They don't save my life experience now.

Some people are lucky to have long-term relationships that are loving, and last until old age. Such relationships are definitely good for mental health, and often just for having a more interesting / engaged life.

I think most people don't have that. Maybe they stay in an unhealthy relationship; or they get divorced; or their partner dies long before they do, so they end up lonely for decades after the relationship. It seems to me that you're experiencing something that many, if not most other people experience in life - loneliness / a lack of love is such a common part of the human experience.

That doesn't make it hurt less, but for me, I feel like certain things feel easier to bear when I understand that many other people experience them, too. That they're a part of being human. (But then, to me, being human is a raw deal, on balance.)
 
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R

RacilyDank

Specialist
Sep 3, 2018
321
No. You can do something about being lonely. It might be hard but you can do it. You can at least try.

Personally, some of the happiest times in my life have been when I've been single. Relationships have caused me a lot of stress, either in them or when they end. There's something to be said for being happy on your own.
 
QueSeraSera

QueSeraSera

Trust No One
Sep 13, 2018
73
I'm 26 and lonely. I've never had a partner before and am a virgin. Sometimes I feel this immense need to be with, bond, and love someone and be loved back by them. It's this sorta indescribable feeling. It just hurts. I feel like my life is not worth living if I'm not with someone. The misery gets too much to handle sometimes and I feel extremely suicidal. I'd rather die now than continue this suffering till, say, the age of 40.

The prospects of me getting a partner are nonexistent. I'm ugly. I have tried several times before, the latest bring yesterday, and have always failed. The fact that I'll never be able to experience young love saddens me. I've lost on so many experiences, feelings, good times being stuck on problems of physics and engineering. I feel like my life is ruined.


The constant thoughts of me being lonely and dying without ever experiencing love or intimacy have turned me somewhat depressive. There's come up this general dissatisfaction with living. I find nothing interesting. I haven't been to work for days. The thoughts of suicide occupy my mind for a good part of the day.

I just wanted your opinions if it's a sane or wise decision to end one's life simply because they were too lonely to live.

No one on this earth can complete you. Tried that shit and it doesn't work. You wind up becoming dependent on them to make you happy. They run away from that.

Just pay for sex until you develop the confidence. You want a fairy tale romance because of the media and society. Grass is not greener.
 
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QueSeraSera

QueSeraSera

Trust No One
Sep 13, 2018
73
No. You can do something about being lonely. It might be hard but you can do it. You can at least try.

Personally, some of the happiest times in my life have been when I've been single. Relationships have caused me a lot of stress, either in them or when they end. There's something to be said for being happy on your own.

I have clinical depression and borderline personality disorder. You are accurate!
 
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QueSeraSera

QueSeraSera

Trust No One
Sep 13, 2018
73
dating? what that even mean any more? can I get laid, yup. as long as I dont care what chewed filth knob drunkenly rams me for two of its only desperate seconds

Mark my words: in 5 years dating and marriage will be a thing of the past.

Casual sex is the new thing....no emotional attachments and stress.
 
R

RacilyDank

Specialist
Sep 3, 2018
321
No one on this earth can complete you. Tried that shit and it doesn't work. You wind up becoming dependent on them to make you happy. They run away from that.

Just pay for sex until you develop the confidence. You want a fairy tale romance because of the media and society. Grass is not greener.
The trick is not relying on anyone to make you happy. You have to make yourself happy. A relationship should just complement your life.

An ex gf of mine relied on me for her happiness and hated me being happy for any other reason than her. It was suffocating! So yes, people do run away from that.
 
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