B

betternever2havbeen

Experienced
Jun 19, 2022
287
@willitpass I know you said you won't take sn again but if you did do you think now you know what happens you'd get through it without calling for help? Is it something you'd be confident you could ride out now or was it really that scary? Did it get worse after you called for help or did you pass out soon after?
 
savagepeonies

savagepeonies

Member
Dec 9, 2021
14
I've read a lot on the subject and I do not think this would be a painless or easy way out. To this day, if I plan to actually CTB, I'm still banking on getting some barbiturates/opiates/alcohol and going to sleep. I imagine this would be way more agitiating and uncomfortable than just going to sleep and depressing my breathing.
 
willitpass

willitpass

Mage
Mar 10, 2020
512
@willitpass I know you said you won't take sn again but if you did do you think now you know what happens you'd get through it without calling for help? Is it something you'd be confident you could ride out now or was it really that scary? Did it get worse after you called for help or did you pass out soon after?
if i ever did i would put any method of calling for help out of reach. but after i text my boyfriend i immediately fell unconcious
 
B

betternever2havbeen

Experienced
Jun 19, 2022
287
@willitpass thanks for explaining and sorry you had to go through all the aftermath. I'm so worried I would call for help too.
 
thebunny

thebunny

be what they fear.
Aug 19, 2022
209
there is no "painless" or "peaceful" way out. if there was, most of us wouldn't be suffering like this. there would always be some sort of discomfort when ctb'ing, whatever method you may choose. N and SN are the closest thing to a "peaceful way out" because they only provide minimal discomfort, but not exactly painless per se.

painless or not, i'm still exiting through SN because i don't have access to opioids and i'm scared of methods where SI would badly kick in such as jumping and hanging.

so i wish people would stop fearmongering and let people leave at peace.
 
FallenStar

FallenStar

I'm tired of my existence.
Oct 23, 2021
140
there is no "painless" or "peaceful" way out. if there was, most of us wouldn't be suffering like this. there would always be some sort of discomfort when ctb'ing, whatever method you may choose. N and SN are the closest thing to a "peaceful way out" because they only provide minimal discomfort, but not exactly painless per se.

painless or not, i'm still exiting through SN because i don't have access to opioids and i'm scared of methods where SI would badly kick in such as jumping and hanging.

so i wish people would stop fearmongering and let people leave at peace.
Exactly β™‘
 
Mofreeko

Mofreeko

Experienced
Apr 7, 2019
202
so i wish people would stop fearmongering and let people leave at peace.
I agree. It seems a lot of people want kittens to lick them to death. Folks, right now SN is the most accessible, cheap and reliable ctb method we have that doesn't involve physical trauma. If you can't handle possible nausea, your heart beating faster and a headache while you ctb, then you'll be waiting a long time for your perfect method to fall out of the sky and into your lap.
 
𝕃1𝕧1π•Ÿπ•˜πŸšπ”»13πŸ’€

𝕃1𝕧1π•Ÿπ•˜πŸšπ”»13πŸ’€

Wizard
Aug 14, 2022
676
I mean.. compared to cyanide yeah. I think SN is probably just uncomfortable.
I've read a lot on the subject and I do not think this would be a painless or easy way out. To this day, if I plan to actually CTB, I'm still banking on getting some barbiturates/opiates/alcohol and going to sleep. I imagine this would be way more agitiating and uncomfortable than just going to sleep and depressing my breathing.
Have you read a lot on this subject?
 
Finding Sirius

Finding Sirius

The brightest lights cast the darkest shadows
Aug 16, 2022
93
there is no "painless" or "peaceful" way out. if there was, most of us wouldn't be suffering like this. there would always be some sort of discomfort when ctb'ing, whatever method you may choose. N and SN are the closest thing to a "peaceful way out" because they only provide minimal discomfort, but not exactly painless per se.

painless or not, i'm still exiting through SN because i don't have access to opioids and i'm scared of methods where SI would badly kick in such as jumping and hanging.

so i wish people would stop fearmongering and let people leave at peace.
Thank you, well said. If people can't stand a little discomfort they should just give up on ctb altogether. There is no "peaceful way out" of this world. A few minutes of being uncomfortable is worth freedom from suffering.
 
KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

ε‚·γ€γ„γŸεΏƒε‚·γ€γ„γŸδ½“
Nov 23, 2020
1,187
For me, I didn't even get to the SN part itself, the fasting and the drugs taken beforehand made me so ill. Granted, I have IBS, so this is probably why. My stomach felt like it was burning after the anti-enemics and the dizziness and headache from the beta blockers was awful, even with painkillers. I was taking codeine mixed with paracetamol and my head still felt like it was about to split in two.

I'm probably a lot more sensitive to medications than most, so the pain I went through probably isn't common. The aftermath of being snitched on and having the ambulance and police come sent me into a panic and was in my opinion, worse than the effects of the prep. Especially when none of these "do gooders" were honest or transparent about their intentions.

I was frightened and ill, and my boyfriend and his family were deeply embarrassed and ashamed of me when they saw the police car pulling up in the drive. I begged them to go, that I was fine, and didn't find this sort of intervention helpful. Not only was I lied to by a phone operator for the police who wouldn't stop ringing me, but the police who attended to me lied as well and sent an ambulance to harass me further.

I had to talk my way out of the situation while reeling from the failed attempt. I didn't even get to take the SN because unbeknownst to me, my best friend who I thought was respectful of my decision had the police called behind my back and then ghosted me for a week or two. I think the prospect of being dragged to a ward against my will and forced medical "treatment" was far scarier than dying to me in that moment.

Being stopped only made me more suicidal, and now I have a police record and am traumatized by the fear of potentially being locked up and drugged against my will by people who could give a shit less about me. Every time I hear a police siren, the hairs on my skin stand up, from that deep seated irrational fear that someone is going to figure out I'm suicidal and threaten and patronise me again.

Despite knowing what to expect from the process leading up taking the SN, it still doesn't make it any easier for me because I'm terrified of vomiting, failing, then being tortured and becoming a pincushion in a hospital against my will. I really wish I had a better method that my agitated stomach wouldn't disagree with. There are no easy ways out, I suppose. Though it is ironic that the medications which were meant to make the process easier and less painful had the opposite effect on me.
 
Last edited:
The Abyss

The Abyss

Why're we still here, just to suffer?
Dec 19, 2019
230
For me, I didn't even get to the SN part itself, the fasting and the drugs taken beforehand made me so ill. Granted, I have IBS, so this is probably why. My stomach felt like it was burning after the anti-enemics and the dizziness and headache from the beta blockers was awful, even with painkillers. I was taking codeine mixed with paracetamol and my head still felt like it was about to split in two.

I'm probably a lot more sensitive to medications than most, so the pain I went through probably isn't common. The aftermath of being snitched on and having the ambulance and police come sent me into a panic and was in my opinion, worse than the effects of the prep. Especially when none of these "do gooders" were honest or transparent about their intentions.

I was frightened and ill, and my boyfriend and his family were deeply embarrassed and ashamed of me when they saw the police car pulling up in the drive. I begged them to go, that I was fine, and didn't find this sort of intervention helpful. Not only was I lied to by a phone operator for the police who wouldn't stop ringing me, but the police who attended to me lied as well and sent an ambulance to harass me further.

I had to talk my way out of the situation while reeling from the failed attempt. I didn't even get to take the SN because unbeknownst to me, my best friend who I thought was respectful of my decision had the police called behind my back and then ghosted me for a week or two. I think the prospect of being dragged to a ward against my will and forced medical "treatment" was far scarier than dying to me in that moment.

Being stopped only made me more suicidal, and now I have a police record and am traumatized by the fear of potentially being locked up and drugged against my will by people who could give a shit less about me. Every time I hear a police siren, the hairs on my skin stand up, from that deep seated irrational fear that someone is going to figure out I'm suicidal and threaten and patronise me again.

Despite knowing what to expect from the process leading up taking the SN, it still doesn't make it any easier for me because I'm terrified of vomiting, failing, then being tortured and becoming a pincushion in a hospital against my will. I really wish I had a better method that my agitated stomach wouldn't disagree with. There are no easy ways out, I suppose. Though it is ironic that the medications which were meant to make the process easier and less painful had the opposite effect on me.
The only other "easy" method in the UK that comes to mind is blackout drunk & laying your head on a train track at night, let the next high-speed sort out the rest. Head down facing away, gotta make sure your head is on there good though.

The booze to take away the fear.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Wish that I was gone
Sep 24, 2020
15,004
SN sounds way better than most methods like jumping and hanging and is certainly more preferable to suffering until old age. I think that those who have SN with them right now are lucky. I do understand why someone would worry about it failing but SN is certainly a reliable method as so many have used it.
 
M

MjΓΈlnir

Member
Aug 18, 2022
24
Anyone know a site for ordering sn with shipping to scandinavia? Pm
 
T

takemenowpls

Experienced
Aug 19, 2022
240
For me, I didn't even get to the SN part itself, the fasting and the drugs taken beforehand made me so ill. Granted, I have IBS, so this is probably why. My stomach felt like it was burning after the anti-enemics and the dizziness and headache from the beta blockers was awful, even with painkillers. I was taking codeine mixed with paracetamol and my head still felt like it was about to split in two.

I'm probably a lot more sensitive to medications than most, so the pain I went through probably isn't common. The aftermath of being snitched on and having the ambulance and police come sent me into a panic and was in my opinion, worse than the effects of the prep. Especially when none of these "do gooders" were honest or transparent about their intentions.

I was frightened and ill, and my boyfriend and his family were deeply embarrassed and ashamed of me when they saw the police car pulling up in the drive. I begged them to go, that I was fine, and didn't find this sort of intervention helpful. Not only was I lied to by a phone operator for the police who wouldn't stop ringing me, but the police who attended to me lied as well and sent an ambulance to harass me further.

I had to talk my way out of the situation while reeling from the failed attempt. I didn't even get to take the SN because unbeknownst to me, my best friend who I thought was respectful of my decision had the police called behind my back and then ghosted me for a week or two. I think the prospect of being dragged to a ward against my will and forced medical "treatment" was far scarier than dying to me in that moment.

Being stopped only made me more suicidal, and now I have a police record and am traumatized by the fear of potentially being locked up and drugged against my will by people who could give a shit less about me. Every time I hear a police siren, the hairs on my skin stand up, from that deep seated irrational fear that someone is going to figure out I'm suicidal and threaten and patronise me again.

Despite knowing what to expect from the process leading up taking the SN, it still doesn't make it any easier for me because I'm terrified of vomiting, failing, then being tortured and becoming a pincushion in a hospital against my will. I really wish I had a better method that my agitated stomach wouldn't disagree with. There are no easy ways out, I suppose. Though it is ironic that the medications which were meant to make the process easier and less painful had the opposite effect on me.
For me, I didn't even get to the SN part itself, the fasting and the drugs taken beforehand made me so ill. Granted, I have IBS, so this is probably why. My stomach felt like it was burning after the anti-enemics and the dizziness and headache from the beta blockers was awful, even with painkillers. I was taking codeine mixed with paracetamol and my head still felt like it was about to split in two.

I'm probably a lot more sensitive to medications than most, so the pain I went through probably isn't common. The aftermath of being snitched on and having the ambulance and police come sent me into a panic and was in my opinion, worse than the effects of the prep. Especially when none of these "do gooders" were honest or transparent about their intentions.

I was frightened and ill, and my boyfriend and his family were deeply embarrassed and ashamed of me when they saw the police car pulling up in the drive. I begged them to go, that I was fine, and didn't find this sort of intervention helpful. Not only was I lied to by a phone operator for the police who wouldn't stop ringing me, but the police who attended to me lied as well and sent an ambulance to harass me further.

I had to talk my way out of the situation while reeling from the failed attempt. I didn't even get to take the SN because unbeknownst to me, my best friend who I thought was respectful of my decision had the police called behind my back and then ghosted me for a week or two. I think the prospect of being dragged to a ward against my will and forced medical "treatment" was far scarier than dying to me in that moment.

Being stopped only made me more suicidal, and now I have a police record and am traumatized by the fear of potentially being locked up and drugged against my will by people who could give a shit less about me. Every time I hear a police siren, the hairs on my skin stand up, from that deep seated irrational fear that someone is going to figure out I'm suicidal and threaten and patronise me again.

Despite knowing what to expect from the process leading up taking the SN, it still doesn't make it any easier for me because I'm terrified of vomiting, failing, then being tortured and becoming a pincushion in a hospital against my will. I really wish I had a better method that my agitated stomach wouldn't disagree with. There are no easy ways out, I suppose. Though it is ironic that the medications which were meant to make the process easier and less painful had the opposite effect on me.
So sorry you went through this
 
H

Hope:-)

Enlightened
Jul 3, 2022
1,012
if i ever did i would put any method of calling for help out of reach. but after i text my boyfriend i immediately fell unconcious
Hi. Did you take the recommended amount of sn?
 
emgrl

emgrl

Arcanist
Aug 6, 2022
435
Hi. Did you take the recommended amount of sn?
What exactly is the recommended dose at this point? It’s my backup, so I’ve spent most of my time researching my plan A. Thank you so much for all of your insight and help! ❀️
 
A

AliceTheGoon

Experienced
Jul 1, 2022
245
Thank you, well said. If people can't stand a little discomfort they should just give up on ctb altogether. There is no "peaceful way out" of this world. A few minutes of being uncomfortable is worth freedom from suffering.
I spend my time now binging Youtube videos, just mindless distraction. There's a channel that shows criminal activity with defense analysis. In many of the videos someone gets shot and killed...like the perp is distracted for a moment and the 'victim' draws a gun and gets a shot off. There isn't even any blood or gore, the perp just falls dead or he runs off a little ways and dies. Seems like a great way to die. There's no vomiting or gasping, or choking down some noxious chemical, or waiting a half hour to die, or fussing and planning for months on end. The shots aren't even carefully placed other than center mass. They make it look so danged easy, I'm a little jealous.
 
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𝕃1𝕧1π•Ÿπ•˜πŸšπ”»13πŸ’€

Wizard
Aug 14, 2022
676
Knew we would see you here.
 
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L

literallydonee

Member
Sep 13, 2022
82
there is no "painless" or "peaceful" way out. if there was, most of us wouldn't be suffering like this. there would always be some sort of discomfort when ctb'ing, whatever method you may choose. N and SN are the closest thing to a "peaceful way out" because they only provide minimal discomfort, but not exactly painless per se.

painless or not, i'm still exiting through SN because i don't have access to opioids and i'm scared of methods where SI would badly kick in such as jumping and hanging.

so i wish people would stop fearmongering and let people leave at peace.
THISSSS. If you're hurting enough to want to CTB, a little discomfort is more than tolerable.
 
𝕃1𝕧1π•Ÿπ•˜πŸšπ”»13πŸ’€

𝕃1𝕧1π•Ÿπ•˜πŸšπ”»13πŸ’€

Wizard
Aug 14, 2022
676
there is no "painless" or "peaceful" way out. if there was, most of us wouldn't be suffering like this. there would always be some sort of discomfort when ctb'ing, whatever method you may choose. N and SN are the closest thing to a "peaceful way out" because they only provide minimal discomfort, but not exactly painless per se.

painless or not, i'm still exiting through SN because i don't have access to opioids and i'm scared of methods where SI would badly kick in such as jumping and hanging.

so i wish people would stop fearmongering and let people leave at peace.
Yes there is. It's called opiates.

Edit:sorry you mentioned opiates.
 
H

Hope:-)

Enlightened
Jul 3, 2022
1,012
It puts me off knowing how many people have ended up calling for help with SN. It's my second choice probably after N but I can see how it's easy to freak out and that's worrying me.
Me too. That's why all I ever talk about on this forum now is getting benzos. Ha. I want to be as calm as possible but I will do it without if need be.
 
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I

Idontmatter

Just want it all to be over
Oct 25, 2021
500
Me too. That's why all I ever talk about on this forum now is getting benzos. Ha. I want to be as calm as possible but I will do it without if need be.
Once I drink it I’m done, I’m not calling for help. It’s getting it down.
 
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Visionary
Apr 15, 2022
2,110
I doubt SN is completely painless and peaceful. Frankly, I think it has some degree of a violent demise to it. Nothing is perfect, though.
 
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Littlewittlelight

Littlewittlelight

Experienced
Sep 3, 2022
283
if i ever did i would put any method of calling for help out of reach. but after i text my boyfriend i immediately fell unconcious
Sorry for asking so many questions but do you remember how long it took for you to fall unconscious?
 
𝕃1𝕧1π•Ÿπ•˜πŸšπ”»13πŸ’€

𝕃1𝕧1π•Ÿπ•˜πŸšπ”»13πŸ’€

Wizard
Aug 14, 2022
676
I'm still using SN.
 
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𝕃1𝕧1π•Ÿπ•˜πŸšπ”»13πŸ’€

Wizard
Aug 14, 2022
676
same here, i am sure its not as bad as some say on here
Those who I have directly spoke to who have already tried it said it wasn't painful. There have been a couple that said that it was. I'm still doing it regardless.