M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
232
What if I, for example, were to say that I am not suicidal anymore and I wanted to go somewhere for advice on how to stay that way and on healthy living (mentally and emotionally), develop good coping mechanisms, stuff like that. Is this a good place for that?

I ask this because, incidentally, I randomly started feeling a lot better recently. I was having a typical conversation with my dad about how I've been feeling and why and whatnot, and at some point I realized I wasn't miserable anymore. I felt content (if this sounds unrealistic, well... it sounds that way to me too.) I've more or less felt this way for several days now. The only thing that gets to me sometimes is nervousness; I get scared that I will start to feel miserable again, and I'd rather die than feel that way again (I mean, I wanted to die already -while- I was feeling that way). I'm feeling nervous right now, as a matter of fact.

Something will probably happen to make me go the other way again, whenever that may be. But until then, as I came to realize working with my psychiatrist awhile back, its not death that any of us really want, it's just to feel better. So while I'm feeling better, I want to do whatever I can to keep feeling better.

And I'll tell you, I will never go to an anti-suicide forum for advice again. The entire concept of a suicide site where you can't talk about suicide is completely ludicrous; I can't talk to those people without getting mad, especially since I have to worry about being cautious about every fucking word I say for fear of being lectured about possibly triggering someone. Not to mention the mods, worse than anyone else, all come off as sanctimonious pricks. All of this has been my experience, at least.

edit: Oh yeah, I wanted to add that I guess the reason I'm even coming here about it in the first place is because I feel like I've gotten such positive responses from everybody, that I really feel comfortable here, so far at least.
 
D

Dip

Student
Jul 27, 2018
171
I've been lurking in this forum for a while. AFAIK this forum is about our own life choices and respecting other's choices, whether they want to live or die and to be able to discuss such matters openly.

In that vein feel free to stay ;3
 
ge0rge

ge0rge

the satanic mechanic
Jul 29, 2018
431
I think it's a mixed bag.

On the one hand, you can freely discuss suicidality and the nitty gritty of it.

On the other, you might get triggered. A lot of people here are the garden variety grimdark no humor allowed variety of suicidal, and it can get taxing. YMMV.

Like what I'm saying is that it can sometimes get circlejerky in the opposite direction you'd find on an anti site/.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Cyanide
C

creatureoflight

Mage
Jul 27, 2018
529
I do find some people on here who are very suicidal and see everything in a negative light quite depressing but then again it is a pro suicide forum.
Actually, having a concrete suicide plan in mind gives me so much peace that it allows me to live on and not have constant anxiety about how I will die if everything gets too bad. So this forum is actually saving my life right now. I love you guys. Thank you.
 
M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
232
I think it's a mixed bag.

On the one hand, you can freely discuss suicidality and the nitty gritty of it.

On the other, you might get triggered. A lot of people here are the garden variety grimdark no humor allowed variety of suicidal, and it can get taxing. YMMV.

Like what I'm saying is that it can sometimes get circlejerky in the opposite direction you'd find on an anti site/.

Suicidal people don't bother me. People dying doesn't bother me. My brother has been acting suicidal practically his whole life. For years we've casually talked about how he's going to shoot himself one day, probably after our parents are dead.

The only thing that would "trigger" me if you want to call it that, is if someone insults me or says something hurtful. I am extremely sensitive, and it's easy to hurt me.
 
ge0rge

ge0rge

the satanic mechanic
Jul 29, 2018
431
Suicidal people don't bother me. People dying doesn't bother me. The only thing that would "trigger" me if you want to call it that, is if someone insults me or says something hurtful. I am extremely sensitive, and it's easy to hurt me.

that's why I said YMMV. there's a lot of stuff here that can make people relapse very easily, in which case, exit stage left
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cyanide and lv-gras
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,572
it is a pro suicide forum
It's pro choice which means only you decide to live or to die, but yes there are some pro suicide people. As long as you don't encourage or press others for doing what you would like and respect others, there shouldn't be problems.

Really I saw people of every side here which makes me think yes it's open for everyone.
 
Last edited:
M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
232
that's why I said YMMV. there's a lot of stuff here that can make people relapse very easily, in which case, exit stage left

Sorry, I am not familiar with this expression. I googled it, but I still am not finding a concrete definition, other than, "Your mileage may vary." Forgive me if I sound stupid, it's probably my autism
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cyanide and lv-gras
E

ephemeral

Member
Jul 10, 2018
43
Only thing I'd like to add is that the energy here is not full of vibrant, life-embracing positivity and vitality. Should you need that to sustain you, then this is probably not the best of places.
 
M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
232
Only thing I'd like to add is that the energy here is not full of vibrant, life-embracing positivity and vitality. Should you need that to sustain you, then this is probably not the best of places.

All I need is people who are friendly and have useful information. And my experience on this site so far has been extremely positive, so to speak. I kind of feel like suicidal people might be the nicest and most open minded people I've ever met, lol.
 
C

creatureoflight

Mage
Jul 27, 2018
529
It's pro choice which means only you decide to live or to die, but yes there are some pro suicide people. As long as you don't encourage or press others for doing what you would like and respect others, there shouldn't be problems.

Really I saw people of every side here which makes me think yes it's open for everyone.

I would never actively encourage someone to kill themselves and actually have posted here many times trying to discourage people as their methods seemed too crazy to me or too risky :D
I meant pro suicide in comparison to the other pro life forums. Of course, thank god, not everyone here is encouraging people here to do it. It would be morally wrong
 
C

comfortablydumb

-
Jun 19, 2018
148
What if I, for example, were to say that I am not suicidal anymore and I wanted to go somewhere for advice on how to stay that way and on healthy living (mentally and emotionally), develop good coping mechanisms, stuff like that. Is this a good place for that?

No, I don't think so. On this forum, the emphasis is on suicide methods, expressing the pain and reasons for wanting to die, etc. Coping mechanisms are more or less antithetical to this forum. There are other people on here who feel the way you do, and posts and threads on coping mechanisms are allowed as far as I know. But it won't be good for the mental health of someone in your position to go digging for those posts and threads amongst the overwhelming misery on display.

I ask this because, incidentally, I randomly started feeling a lot better recently. I was having a typical conversation with my dad about how I've been feeling and why and whatnot, and at some point I realized I wasn't miserable anymore. I felt content (if this sounds unrealistic, well... it sounds that way to me too.) I've more or less felt this way for several days now. The only thing that gets to me sometimes is nervousness; I get scared that I will start to feel miserable again, and I'd rather die than feel that way again (I mean, I wanted to die already -while- I was feeling that way). I'm feeling nervous right now, as a matter of fact.

Same here. I am intending to leave this forum because of it. If I ever kill myself, I know how to do it in a good way. And since I am not intending to kill myself in the short term future, I don't need fuel or affirmation for suicidal ideation.

I've had plenty of conversations with my parents about how I've been feeling, and they know (because I've told them explicitly) that the only reason I hadn't killed myself years ago is that I couldn't bear to "do that to them".

As for not being miserable and being content, it does sound and feel unrealistic when put up against what the existentialists on here espouse or remind us of. But we're emotional animals. Misery and contentment are emotions. Every single person who has killed themselves did it because of the state of their emotions, not rational, intellectual analysis. If you're dying, in great pain, of terminal cancer, rational, intellectual analysis tells you that you should end it all. But emotion is what moves you to act. Some people choose to "tough it out" because their emotion is spite against a universe that would do this to them.

As for the nervousness about feeling miserable again - that's what is called rumination. I know the feeling well. I am prone to anxiety, as most genuinely suicidal people are. Rumination - worrying and rehashing - is part and parcel of anxiety. The vexatious fact is, however, that you can't have it both ways. You will have to feel that way again before you kill yourself. I mean, you could kill yourself now - but you don't want to, do you? So work towards putting the worry out of your mind. Easier said than done, but the worry is futile. The worry lets the bad feeling from before (and from the possible future) poison the good feeling of now. Fight and be spiteful for the good feeling of now. Not because life has any meaning, not because of your social/moral/emotional obligations to any other people, but because good feeling feels good, man. There's nothing more profound about that than there is about a deep sea fish's drive to chomp up whatever unfortunate schmuck it bumps into in the darkness. But how you feel is all you have, all you've ever had, and all you'll ever have. So be a glib, douchy pro-lifer and guard it by all your means.

Something will probably happen to make me go the other way again, whenever that may be. But until then, as I came to realize working with my psychiatrist awhile back, its not death that any of us really want, it's just to feel better. So while I'm feeling better, I want to do whatever I can to keep feeling better.

Yes, you probably will feel the way you were feeling again. And it will blindside you. It might sneak up on you, or come riding in on the back of an objective catastrophe. But yes, until then, it's not death that any of us really want. As far as science understands, we are literally just meat holsters for DNA. DNA does it's thing, and we are involuntary passengers on the ride. You can choose to get off the ride, but DNA rigged you up to make that very difficult for you. There's no shame in working with a captor who has you by the balls like that.

And I'll tell you, I will never go to an anti-suicide forum for advice again. The entire concept of a suicide site where you can't talk about suicide is completely ludicrous; I can't talk to those people without getting mad, especially since I have to worry about being cautious about every fucking word I say for fear of being lectured about possibly triggering someone. Not to mention the mods, worse than anyone else, all come off as sanctimonious pricks. All of this has been my experience, at least.

Make your own forum. It could catch on. It's tricky - frank existential talk and talk that is accepting of suicide literally does trigger and cause real-life suicides. It's understandable that people don't want that blood or pale blue skin on their hands. That fact may render "anti-suicide" forums useless for people like us, but so it is. But again, if you feel that the perfect forum doesn't exist, it's your prerogative to create it. Objectively, any individual such endeavour is unlikely to succeed. But the attempt is something you can spend your good feeling on. You can also spend your good feeling on attempting to get a yacht. Or anything in between. I'm not setting up a value judgment dichotomy. For now, your good feeling won't allow you to kill yourself - you have no say in the matter. Bad feeling might come back and replace good feeling tomorrow. But for now, good feeling is what you have, and you are free to use it for good or bad, greed or generosity.

edit: Oh yeah, I wanted to add that I guess the reason I'm even coming here about it in the first place is because I feel like I've gotten such positive responses from everybody, that I really feel comfortable here, so far at least.

Well, when you feel good you can't remember how it was to feel bad. Oh, you can remember it and that is why you worry about it coming back. But you can't really remember it. You can't remember it like you remember a concert you went to or like you remember falling down the stairs. It's amorphous. And, conversely, when you feel bad, you can't really remember how it was to feel good.

That's why those mods are sanctimonious pricks. It's a pitfall of however you choose to spend your good feeling. There are plenty of sanctimonious pricks on here as well, but they tend to be made such that they don't feel entitled to tell you what to do. They settle for thinking you a fool. (Disclaimer: I am sanctimonious prick. I'm also very spiteful, which is bad or good depending on the situation. In any case, right now I feel good, so I am basically invincible. Tomorrow, I might feel bad and be pathetically vulnerable. I'm too spiteful to let that reality kill my buzz right now, though.)
 
M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
232
Only thing I'd like to add is that the energy here is not full of vibrant, life-embracing positivity and vitality. Should you need that to sustain you, then this is probably not the best of places.

All I need is people who are friendly and have useful information. And my experience on this site so far has been extremely positive, so to speak. I kind of feel like suicidal people might be the nicest and most open minded people I've ever met, lol.
No, I don't think so. On this forum, the emphasis is on suicide methods, expressing the pain and reasons for wanting to die, etc. Coping mechanisms are more or less antithetical to this forum. There are other people on here who feel the way you do, and posts and threads on coping mechanisms are allowed as far as I know. But it won't be good for the mental health of someone in your position to go digging for those posts and threads amongst the overwhelming misery on display.



Same here. I am intending to leave this forum because of it. If I ever kill myself, I know how to do it in a good way. And since I am not intending to kill myself in the short term future, I don't need fuel or affirmation for suicidal ideation.

I've had plenty of conversations with my parents about how I've been feeling, and they know (because I've told them explicitly) that the only reason I hadn't killed myself years ago is that I couldn't bear to "do that to them".

As for not being miserable and being content, it does sound and feel unrealistic when put up against what the existentialists on here espouse or remind us of. But we're emotional animals. Misery and contentment are emotions. Every single person who has killed themselves did it because of the state of their emotions, not rational, intellectual analysis. If you're dying, in great pain, of terminal cancer, rational, intellectual analysis tells you that you should end it all. But emotion is what moves you to act. Some people choose to "tough it out" because their emotion is spite against a universe that would do this to them.

As for the nervousness about feeling miserable again - that's what is called rumination. I know the feeling well. I am prone to anxiety, as most genuinely suicidal people are. Rumination - worrying and rehashing - is part and parcel of anxiety. The vexatious fact is, however, that you can't have it both ways. You will have to feel that way again before you kill yourself. I mean, you could kill yourself now - but you don't want to, do you? So work towards putting the worry out of your mind. Easier said than done, but the worry is futile. The worry lets the bad feeling from before (and from the possible future) poison the good feeling of now. Fight and be spiteful for the good feeling of now. Not because life has any meaning, not because of your social/moral/emotional obligations to any other people, but because good feeling feels good, man. There's nothing more profound about that than there is about a deep sea fish's drive to chomp up whatever unfortunate schmuck it bumps into in the darkness. But how you feel is all you have, all you've ever had, and all you'll ever have. So be a glib, douchy pro-lifer and guard it by all your means.



Yes, you probably will feel the way you were feeling again. And it will blindside you. It might sneak up on you, or come riding in on the back of an objective catastrophe. But yes, until then, it's not death that any of us really want. As far as science understands, we are literally just meat holsters for DNA. DNA does it's thing, and we are involuntary passengers on the ride. You can choose to get off the ride, but DNA rigged you up to make that very difficult for you. There's no shame in working with a captor who has you by the balls like that.



Make your own forum. It could catch on. It's tricky - frank existential talk and talk that is accepting of suicide literally does trigger and cause real-life suicides. It's understandable that people don't want that blood or pale blue skin on their hands. That fact may render "anti-suicide" forums useless for people like us, but so it is. But again, if you feel that the perfect forum doesn't exist, it's your prerogative to create it. Objectively, any individual such endeavour is unlikely to succeed. But the attempt is something you can spend your good feeling on. You can also spend your good feeling on attempting to get a yacht. Or anything in between. I'm not setting up a value judgment dichotomy. For now, your good feeling won't allow you to kill yourself - you have no say in the matter. Bad feeling might come back and replace good feeling tomorrow. But for now, good feeling is what you have, and you are free to use it for good or bad, greed or generosity.



Well, when you feel good you can't remember how it was to feel bad. Oh, you can remember it and that is why you worry about it coming back. But you can't really remember it. You can't remember it like you remember a concert you went to or like you remember falling down the stairs. It's amorphous. And, conversely, when you feel bad, you can't really remember how it was to feel good.

That's why those mods are sanctimonious pricks. It's a pitfall of however you choose to spend your good feeling. There are plenty of sanctimonious pricks on here as well, but they tend to be made such that they don't feel entitled to tell you what to do. They settle for thinking you a fool. (Disclaimer: I am sanctimonious prick. I'm also very spiteful, which is bad or good depending on the situation. In any case, right now I feel good, so I am basically invincible. Tomorrow, I might feel bad and be pathetically vulnerable. I'm too spiteful to let that reality kill my buzz right now, though.)

Well I don't know that I'm convinced that this is a bad environment for me, but I definitely appreciate the amount of thought you put into this on my account. Thank you : )
 
  • Like
Reactions: lv-gras and Cyanide
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,572
I would never actively encourage someone to kill themselves and actually have posted here many times trying to discourage people as their methods seemed too crazy to me or too risky :D
I meant pro suicide in comparison to the other pro life forums. Of course, thank god, not everyone here is encouraging people here to do it. It would be morally wrong
I don't remember nobody who encouraged but maybe it happened.

And yes, crazy and risky methods must be avoided, they never work and make you worse than before. I don't encourage actively because nobody must feel pressed, it only leads to more problems.

I think encourage to live is as harmful as the other, but maybe I'm too mad for you so ignore it.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Cyanide
C

comfortablydumb

-
Jun 19, 2018
148
Well I don't know that I'm convinced that this is a bad environment for me, but I definitely appreciate the amount of thought you put into this on my account. Thank you : )

De nada. It was valuable for me in any case - caused me to articulate and write down my own feelings and perspective at this time. Keeping a personal journal is one of the most frequently cited coping mechanisms for a life of feeling alright, but I have thus far in life been unable to implement a single good habit that I can think of. Commenting on forums sometimes tricks me into "journalling".
 
C

comfortablydumb

-
Jun 19, 2018
148
I don't remember nobody who encouraged but maybe it happened.

And yes, crazy and risky methods must be avoided, they never work and make you worse than before. I don't encourage actively because nobody must feel pressed, it only leads to more problems.

I think encourage to live is as harmful as the other, but maybe I'm too mad for you so ignore it.

Active encouragement on here is rare, but I think it has happened. Oh, shit, I know it has happened. I did it yesterday, in a sarcastic response to one of the idiotic, outlandish "methods" someone proposed: "Please try it."

As for encouraging to live being as harmful as the opposite - that can basically be mathematically refuted: As long as you are alive, you have the option to kill yourself. As long as you are dead, you have no options. Being dead loses to being alive in terms of available options. Of course, acceptance of this reasoning hinges on valuing having options. But the concept of options belongs to the living. The dead have no representative to argue for their side. So, in the reality of the living, logic is biased towards favoring... living. (This is, of course, conditional upon the individual's circumstances. If you are terminally ill in a painful way, or in chronic pain without any fix on the horizon, or facing torture and certain death - best to kill yourself if you can.)
 
  • Like
Reactions: lv-gras
ge0rge

ge0rge

the satanic mechanic
Jul 29, 2018
431
Sorry, I am not familiar with this expression. I googled it, but I still am not finding a concrete definition, other than, "Your mileage may vary." Forgive me if I sound stupid, it's probably my autism

It means "it might be different for you; it was different for me."

Look, this place is triggering as shit, no matter how deeply you evade the nomenclature. It's full of methods, of people telling people good luck when they're off to kts, and other fun stuff. The posters above have made a case for it.

This is not a neutral playground by any means. It's the yang to the yin of "sanctimonious pricks" frothing at the mouth about the absolute stellar beauty of existence and that you should cherish every little drop of existence because someone in Africa is starving. It's being told constantly, blockquote format, wall of text to the fucking balls, that everything sucks and is miserable and that life is a fundamentally negative thing that will, inevitably, trigger someone given sufficient time and exposure.

Why someone would want to be here despite all of this, and despite not being suicidal, escapes me.
 
P

Pony Slaystation

Member
Jul 28, 2018
32
I'm only on this forum to learn the technicalities of nitrogen gas regulators. It's my hobby. Nowhere else on the internet can you find such an in-depth discussion of the intricacies of flow rate conversion and flow meters versus flow regulators.
 
ge0rge

ge0rge

the satanic mechanic
Jul 29, 2018
431
For me, the bottom line is that nuance is far from being reached. Maybe it's the nature of things that people should let all the gunk and the pus flow out that society has told them to hold in. By all means. But I find the idea that this place is free from an actively suicide-promoting bias ludicrous.
 
  • Like
Reactions: comfortablydumb
D

Dip

Student
Jul 27, 2018
171
For me, the bottom line is that nuance is far from being reached. Maybe it's the nature of things that people should let all the gunk and the pus flow out that society has told them to hold in. By all means. But I find the idea that this place is free from an actively suicide-promoting bias ludicrous.

I daresay that it isn't a 100% mirror image of "sanctimonious pricks" found elsewhere though. There is indeed some bias, but it is not the 100% opposite of people telling you you HAVE to live regardless of what you think because "think of your loved ones, there's light at the end of the tunnel, who knows what tomorrow brings", etc.

Here it seems to be more like "you want to die, good luck" or "you want to give life another shot, good luck".
 
ge0rge

ge0rge

the satanic mechanic
Jul 29, 2018
431
I daresay that it isn't a 100% mirror image of "sanctimonious pricks" found elsewhere though. There is indeed some bias, but it is not the 100% opposite of people telling you you HAVE to live regardless of what you think because "think of your loved ones, there's light at the end of the tunnel, who knows what tomorrow brings", etc.

Here it seems to be more like "you want to die, good luck" or "you want to give life another shot, good luck".

Let's agree to disagree. I'm sure we've both got better things to do than drawing up forum statistics :p
 
D

Dip

Student
Jul 27, 2018
171
Let's agree to disagree. I'm sure we've both got better things to do than drawing up forum statistics :p

I do agree with the part about having a bias, just not to the extent of it (as you say, "yang to the yin"). But ok ^^
 
  • Like
Reactions: lv-gras
DF90

DF90

Experienced
Mar 18, 2018
275
Yes! We have a "recovery" tag you can use on your posts for this category. I was thinking about having another section devoted to recovery (like with off topic, ss, feedback) If people are interested in that, please let me know!

That being said, I want to stress that this server is pro-choice, not pro-suicide. Not everyone here wants to die. I, myself, would one day like to feel better and I know several others here also have that goal.

The recovery tag is for those who are suicidal and depressed, but are seeking to get help and try to live a fulfilling or at least be relatively content with life. If this tag is used only recovery based talk and advice is allowed and the discussion is preferred to stay positive.
 
Rocky M

Rocky M

I'm A Monster
Jun 20, 2018
213
Actually, having a concrete suicide plan in mind gives me so much peace that it allows me to live on and not have constant anxiety about how I will die if everything gets too bad. So this forum is actually saving my life right now. I love you guys. Thank you.
This is kinda where I am too. I may go ahead with it eventually, but for now, I’m content with having everything put in place and saving it for the right time.
 
Suicideisnirvana

Suicideisnirvana

-
Aug 4, 2018
312
Active encouragement on here is rare, but I think it has happened. Oh, shit, I know it has happened. I did it yesterday, in a sarcastic response to one of the idiotic, outlandish "methods" someone proposed: "Please try it."

As for encouraging to live being as harmful as the opposite - that can basically be mathematically refuted: As long as you are alive, you have the option to kill yourself. As long as you are dead, you have no options. Being dead loses to being alive in terms of available options. Of course, acceptance of this reasoning hinges on valuing having options. But the concept of options belongs to the living. The dead have no representative to argue for their side. So, in the reality of the living, logic is biased towards favoring... living. (This is, of course, conditional upon the individual's circumstances. If you are terminally ill in a painful way, or in chronic pain without any fix on the horizon, or facing torture and certain death - best to kill yourself if you can.)

That can't be mathematically refuted, you used an implicit anxiom "Having a choice is always better" and another false assumption "that while one is alive, the variable "choice" doesn't change", the reality is far more complex.

Having a choice isn't always better, having a choice could be just the sympton of a frightening dilemma that it's better not to have. Also it courd be argued that fighting with survival mechanisms isn't really a "choice".

And it's false that the variable "choice" doesn't change, some people lose the courage and willpower to execute suicide as they age WHILE REGRETTING THEY DIDN'T DO IT when they feel they could. You could also be paralyzed and lose your ability to commit suicide.

I can say also that it was mathematically prooved that suicide is the better solution. Because in that case it's impossible to regret anything, while as long as you live you may regret not commiting suicide plus many other things. Suicide is the only choice one can never regret.