deflagrat

deflagrat

¡Si hablas español mándame un mensaje privado!
Apr 9, 2018
360
Last year I spent the whole year wanting to die, right now I am just waiting until my parents get tired of me. I sleep away just so I don't have to be awake. I am tired of waiting, why shouldn't I kill myself? I don't have the money to buy N, and the only way to get it is asking to my parents, which creates my problem: I can't really bring myself to die without N unless my parents leave me homeless, and that's not going to happen at all (they just accepted the idea of having to care about their 29 year old useless son).

I am not complaining about my situation, I am just complaining about the fact that there is no point in life. I refuse to work (working is being a slave unless you are getting paid something VERY decent, I am way too disabled to do that), I refuse to waste my time in most tv shows and movies because I don't like them, I refuse to play videogames because I already finished everything I wanted to play and the other videogames bore me, I hate the fact that we live in a prehistoric era (computers are not even half a century old), I hate the fact that I am completely numbed and I don't feel emotions or happiness so not thinking like this is not even possible. I don't care about relationships (I am fugly on the inside anyways), I don't want to have children (to have a kid just to abandon him is a very cruel thing to do), I don't care about anything in this world. I am really envious of someone who is able to kill himself just like that.

I think I am prepared to die, but how long will I have to live in this shithole called Earth? Years? Should I just sleep all day long until there is a new videogame or show with promise? At least I don't have to keep waiting that long, the only interest left in me is news about technology and that requires time. I would spend the entire day with my computer but I am tired of doing that because I have been doing just that for 10 long years. I am starting to be tired of being bored all day, trying to chase away boredom...
 
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,572
I feel something similar. When everything loses its interest and you get tired of the things you used to enjoy life becomes a meaningless waste of time.

My parents will leave me soon, but it's almost better than having to coexist with them.

The studies and later the work is that definitely killed me time ago.

And there is still the problem of how people cares a shit about all the problems and treat us like shit.
 
L

Life sucks

Visionary
Apr 18, 2018
2,138
I can relate, I just want to ctb. Although I want to do some other stuff and play more but I think I don't have energy for the suffering and shit in life. There are things I love to do but life is shit and its better to leave it before more sufferings happen.

Also I think time is very fast and everyday is very short. I can't do anything even if I want. I want to ctb and end it
 
Malice1

Malice1

-
Apr 6, 2018
287
I can relate to your entire post deflagrat. I'm out of my mind bored to the point where im going mad. I've been doing this for as long as you. Years and years of looking and waiting for things to come out to fullfill my boredom. Its hell on earth and if i don't overcome my fear soon ill be stuck here for decades..staring at the wall, deranged and crazy.
 
Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
638
Yep. It's quite a way to exist, that's for sure. Being bereft of anything & everything. Devoured alive by the insidiousness of boredom. I also don't, nor have I ever, had any reason to live. It's all worthless and too much trouble. And I do mean all of it. Nothing holds any significance to me. The whole thing is just a rotting, festering mound of shit (technology included) As it is, I'm just continually spinning my tires in the deep dark muck of this disgusting planet for no particular reason, other than being too afraid/lazy to kill myself. I can especially relate with the death envy, though. I swear, some motherfuckers are just genetically better equipped to commit suicide (strong willpower, low pain threshold, not neurotic enough to let it get in the way, weaker fear response, etc.) Just another senseless draw of the DNA lottery. Some get lucky, most others don't. The story of life itself in a nutshell. We all lose just finding ourselves here in the first place.

I think I am prepared to die, but how long will I have to live in this shithole called Earth? Years?

This thought alone makes me want to adopt the fetal position in as tight a way as I can muster until somehow I'm able to just implode in on myself. The possibility of all this continuing to old age is really, really unpleasant to consider.

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+ + + +

Member
May 30, 2018
48
Me too, guys. I'm tired of this screen, I've been sitting in front of it alone in my room for the last half year. Nothing stimulates my brain anymore. My highlight of the day yesterday was when a bee flew into my room and I had to get him outside.
 
S

Strumgewehr

-
Jun 7, 2018
271
I refuse to play videogames because I already finished everything I wanted to play and the other videogames bore me,
You, my friend, need some heavy metal in your life. It take a patience to get into, but once you are in, it will never bore you. Not in a lifetime.
 
L

Life sucks

Visionary
Apr 18, 2018
2,138
What type of games do you like? There might be one or two good left you just haven't found.

Yea, Tbh the process can be endless. There are a lot of hidden gems specially if one plays both new and old generations

I always get new games when searching.
 
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