deathwish

deathwish

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Jun 16, 2018
71
(long af, begging discussion on any point you care to comment on)
If you don't know, Jonghyun's another celebrity who ctb; it was December of last year; he made his note public, giving it to a friend to publish before he off'd; the note was posted on Sanc reddit but in case you haven't seen it, it may be of interest, it's quite well written, so here it is.. (i say it's well written, will say it again, but if you're bemused, i believe when jonghyun writes "you" he is still referring to himself.) please discuss

https://imgur.com/a/5gbG6B0

of course he was a person very beloved a to a lot of people, i hope no one is very hurt by my posting this. i'm trying to heal, and share.. maybe it's funny but he was a public figure, he is, and his group still sings about him. which is what i want to talk about next, sorry. no part of this post will capture well either the person jonghyun or his group, i don't mean to, only to focus on some recorded words that anyone could read and perhaps people here would find interesting

(if you don't know) Jonghyun is from the Kpop group, SHINee. They debuted in 2008, had no member changes, v successful and loved, whoo, and since a couple weeks ago, SHINee began releasing in three parts their new album. i'm not wrong to think they sing about jonghyun sometimes? They sing,

"I don't blame you for leaving me. / It's my problem that I loved you."

which i like, but the final line is, "Please come back." which i don't like. perhaps, rather than ask he return, you ask the world to not be such that he had to escape in such a way.. (Jonghyun used carbon monoxide method with coal briquettes in his home, psa.) in a mainstream pop song, i'd ask that they do better... they have to appeal to lots of people, it's even better if the song applies to different things, but...a line like that...a little bit pushing it towards uselessness, i think, and hurtfulness, for the sake of wounded honesty. for one left alive, it's exact. for one gone, it's not ideal, i think? i don't condemn SHINee or hardly even the song with confidence, my complaints are just wounded venting (lol like the songwriter's?), please understand; and i hope perhaps others will find interest in music of this topic and maybe benefit from sharing their thoughts too
the song in question, a B-side, hit CC for English subs:


Who Waits For Love is from part 2 of their trilogy; part 3 was just released and is 100% a dedication and if you'd like, here is the title song, very personal to SHINee (not that related to this thread's topic but here it is anyway, If You'd Like), written by a member:

not trying to create fans. but thought it could be of interest. and i'm really hurt and lonely, so. i know many here care not for others' impressions of them when they die, so probably nothing in this post will be very engaging.. many people here are suffering from physical conditions...it's totally different... and many of us aren't pretty or memorable so maybe this legacy is bitter or just irrelevant to interests. is it worth wondering if it's ironic, that i too am suicidal and have been for most of my life, but have this reaction to my idol... do you find worth in this post which includes questioningly, helplessly mourning a suicide On sanctioned suicide
soon after his death, i explained my topically (this topic) relevant feeling okay in an unpublished note..

"no, i understand what it feels like to be wretched. accurately, there is nowhere sensible to place blame besides one's self, one's personality; it's because we're like this. but if dying is a temperate goal for me, it seems it was something jonghyun didn't want so i'm so sorry"

is anyone here like that (like jonghyun, i mean, though this is such a broad and boxed thing to say, "like that/like him" but you feel me?), do you think? you? is there point in me asking.

p.s. if this post seems too off-topic for this site, here's a more related fact: perhaps the most prominent feeling in me after his death and i read his note, was envy and admiration
 
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Steve

Member
Jun 14, 2018
57
I suspect it’s the sleeping pills he was taking. Likely a benzodiazepine, often used by celebrities in their high stress lifestyle. It has a devastating withdrawal effect that involves severe cutting pain all over the body that without tracing the source can be thought by the sufferer to be “depression”
 
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Battered_Seoul

Student
Jun 13, 2018
172
My therapist in Korea mentioned that the publication of this note triggered the suicidality of several of his patients. I remember being quite moved by it at the time.

He CTB'd with coal briquettes in a pan if I remember correctly.
 
deathwish

deathwish

-
Jun 16, 2018
71
I suspect it’s the sleeping pills he was taking. Likely a benzodiazepine, often used by celebrities in their high stress lifestyle. It has a devastating withdrawal effect that involves severe cutting pain all over the body that without tracing the source can be thought by the sufferer to be “depression”
Das an intense guess; I think maybe even his quack doctor might've suggested that. ;;; But hey, ofc it could be true, too. Horrifying if so. also I tried searching for mentions of Jonghyun taking benzodiazepines and am coming up with nil... you only suppose because of his job?
 
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deathwish

deathwish

-
Jun 16, 2018
71
My therapist in Korea mentioned that the publication of this note triggered the suicidality of several of his patients. I remember being quite moved by it at the time.

He CTB'd with coal briquettes in a pan if I remember correctly.
Not surprised.. my whole life, i've never really been "inspired" by anything until his note. Of course others would also... He's an artist who expressed feeling very well, so yeah.. I hope it helped them.

And yes, coal briquettes.. I remember reading conflicting reports, that the police (Police of course.....) arrived after he passed; and that they arrived before and tried resuscitation. Hurtful to imagine if he had lived.. he surely worked very hard at ensuring he wouldn't. Good job, Jjong..
 
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Ice Poseidon

Ice Poseidon

Member
Jul 3, 2018
25
My therapist in Korea mentioned that the publication of this note triggered the suicidality of several of his patients. I remember being quite moved by it at the time.

He CTB'd with coal briquettes in a pan if I remember correctly.

Which method is most commonly used in Korea? Coal Briquettes?
 
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Battered_Seoul

Student
Jun 13, 2018
172
As a foreigner, I am perhaps not the best authority but I think that although coal burning and bridge jumping are common, hanging is the most frequently used method.

I vaguely remember some Nitrogen gas group suicides being reported in the news a while back, which struck me as unusual.
 
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