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Caustic Cardinals

Caustic Cardinals

Sep 1, 2018
Every night I hope I never wake up.

I have felt this way for as long as I can remember.
I first started thinking about my own mortality at about 7 or 8.
At that time in my life , I only new suffering .

I recall realizing that when other kids were getting affection it was because they were loved.
For me affection was conditional .
I was not loved .
I was a thing.
A thing for amusement, to be toyed with . I was for the men in my life an object .
I was an outlet for debasement, a target for twisted enjoyment.

Every night I hope I never wake up.