☆AwaitingEntropy☆

☆AwaitingEntropy☆

Snuffing the Light Out
Nov 6, 2021
166
I feel like an awful person for planning to leave. I got my cat almost a year ago, honestly while I was in a numb state. My lease was being renewed and I guess my stupid brain wanted to try and see if it would help any to get one. I wasn't thinking clearly, still holding out some hope.

I had a cat previously, but she passed in 2019 and it absolutely destroyed me. She was my best friend, and I haven't recovered from it.

I love my new cat dearly, but I've never connected with her as well as I did my old cat. Thanks to that trauma, part of me is always prepared for her to suddenly get sick, or die, or perhaps run away. Its cruel to know that either she'll leave me, or, more likely, horribly, I will leave her. I feel hope when she bonds to my roommates, maybe if I die one of them will take her. Maybe she won't be so sad if I die because she has them, and they are genuinely wonderful people.

I should have never adopted her. I have seen how sad cats can get when their owners disappear on them. Some of them just don't recover. It breaks my heart. She is such a wonderful kitty but I'm too far gone to stick around for her forever. I can't connect with her properly no matter how I try, it makes me too sick to think of how cruel it will be when I eventually leave, or if something happens to her. I am such a horrible person.
 
its-about-time

its-about-time

nope
Mar 19, 2022
730
I feel ya. My cat I love and worry about, but my dog is the one that is really upsetting to think about. I’ve had her since a puppy, she’s senior now (over 12 years) and declining cognitively more and more. She takes a lot of care to keep her comfortable, eating, and happy. And she is VERY bonded to me. To the point where she won’t eat for days if I go out of town and have to leave her with my mom.

I always planned to stick around until she passes away. Lately I’ve figured she’d just be fine and learn to adapt, she’d go live with my mom where she’s comfortable, familiar, and could live out her last years. But I might be lying to myself there. And in reality, even though it’s really hard to think about deciding firmly to stay alive that much longer, I really fuckin care about my dog and would do it just for her. She probably has a few more years in her, she’s healthy, but her cognitive function is really going downhill more and more rapidly, so it’s hard to say definitively.
 
☆AwaitingEntropy☆

☆AwaitingEntropy☆

Snuffing the Light Out
Nov 6, 2021
166
I feel ya. My cat I love and worry about, but my dog is the one that is really upsetting to think about. I’ve had her since a puppy, she’s senior now (over 12 years) and declining cognitively more and more. She takes a lot of care to keep her comfortable, eating, and happy. And she is VERY bonded to me. To the point where she won’t eat for days if I go out of town and have to leave her with my mom.

I always planned to stick around until she passes away. Lately I’ve figured she’d just be fine and learn to adapt, she’d go live with my mom where she’s comfortable, familiar, and could live out her last years. But I might be lying to myself there. And in reality, even though it’s really hard to think about deciding firmly to stay alive that much longer, I really fuckin care about my dog and would do it just for her. She probably has a few more years in her, she’s healthy, but her cognitive function is really going downhill more and more rapidly, so it’s hard to say definitively.
Your bond with your dog sounds so sweet, and I wish you the best in finding the strength and fortitude to stick around for her, if you're able. I understand how tough it can be.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Wish that I was gone.
Sep 24, 2020
13,520
I can imagine that it must be painful being in that situation and I’m sorry that you suffer. I wish you the best in whatever happens.
 
DemonicAngel

DemonicAngel

Tormented
Jan 21, 2021
72
I'm in a situation where I don't want to live. I know my life will never improve as far as how I feel and view things. I live with a toxic cruel person and have no way of leaving. My older brother was my best friend, my protector, my everything and he moved far away. All I have is my cat, and she is everything. When I cry she comes to me and rubs her head against mine. She loves me and I her. However things are bad and getting worse. Some days I want to end it despite her, but I can't leave her. I always talk myself out of it because I'm a coward and because of my cat. Without me she would have no one to take care of her. So I'm just as helpless and confused as you, just in a different way.
 
wljourney

wljourney

Waiting for the bus
Apr 2, 2022
947
That’s a really difficult situation to be in. My dog is a senior now and I decided a few years ago that “I’ll go when he goes”. He wouldn’t do well with me leaving him now and there wouldn’t be anyone who would take him either. we may not even have a year, so it’s foreseeable.

In your situation with a young kitty who has other people around her to connect with. I am not saying that she wouldn’t miss you. I am pretty sure she would. Maybe see how long you can hold on, but 15+ years can be a very long time to be in pain.

My heart goes out to you.
 
LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,336
I feel like an awful person for planning to leave. I got my cat almost a year ago, honestly while I was in a numb state. My lease was being renewed and I guess my stupid brain wanted to try and see if it would help any to get one. I wasn't thinking clearly, still holding out some hope.

I had a cat previously, but she passed in 2019 and it absolutely destroyed me. She was my best friend, and I haven't recovered from it.

I love my new cat dearly, but I've never connected with her as well as I did my old cat. Thanks to that trauma, part of me is always prepared for her to suddenly get sick, or die, or perhaps run away. Its cruel to know that either she'll leave me, or, more likely, horribly, I will leave her. I feel hope when she bonds to my roommates, maybe if I die one of them will take her. Maybe she won't be so sad if I die because she has them, and they are genuinely wonderful people.

I should have never adopted her. I have seen how sad cats can get when their owners disappear on them. Some of them just don't recover. It breaks my heart. She is such a wonderful kitty but I'm too far gone to stick around for her forever. I can't connect with her properly no matter how I try, it makes me too sick to think of how cruel it will be when I eventually leave, or if something happens to her. I am such a horrible person.
@Tomatoandcheese l hope you can find the strength to stick around for your Kitty, When l adopted my Staffie 'Max' l promised him that I would be there for him until the day he passed and l kept my word for the whole 12 + a half year's he was by my side, He passed 2 month's ago and the pain is as raw today as it was 2 month's ago! Pet's are deserving of the best of ourselves, People are Not! I hope you do what's right by your Kittycat! I send You a positive hug and a Mieow for Kittycat! 'LONEWOLF' 🐺🐈
 
Poor Stargazer

Poor Stargazer

See You @ The Singularity
Mar 31, 2022
56
Never leave your cat. The kitty deserves you and needs you imo