joshe

joshe

Wanderer
Jun 1, 2019
112
If you have ever reached out to anyone about your pain and suffering, likely you have heard this from at least one person.

How do you react?


For me, I can understand that 'reward takes effort' and such other things but I think the main difference is the scale of the pain-gain ratio. Once it tips into a situation where everyday things become an immense struggle and you are beaten down one time too many, how can anyone say you need to push harder when they don't know what you are going through.
 
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Kyrok

Kyrok

Global Mod
Nov 6, 2018
957
Here's another issue: why bother? Why assume life is worth living? What about those who don't feel interested in achieving anything, or have seen enough to realize that most people are corrupt and success comes not by hard work but ass kissing and luck?

Fuck those who don't get it. They're simpletons.
 
joshe

joshe

Wanderer
Jun 1, 2019
112
Here's another issue: why bother? Why assume life is worth living? What about those who don't feel interested in achieving anything, or have seen enough to realize that most people are corrupt and success comes not by hard work but ass kissing and luck?

Fuck those who don't get it. They're simpletons.

Now I'm not sure which section to post it to, mods please decide which to delete.

I think for the vast amount of people they can't even fathom why one would want to end their life.

It makes them feel threatened and confused and so often they rely on things they have been told or things that have helped them get by in tough times, not realising the level of our turmoil.
 
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262653

262653

Cluesome
Apr 5, 2018
1,760
If it was a real time conversation, I'd by myself some time to think with clarifying questions, like:
Why cannot life be easy? Am we supposed to deal with this?
Do we really get what we put in? Could you possibly put a considerable amount of effort and get nothing worthwhile? Could you get something valuable without putting much effort into it? Something closely related to those two statements. It helps to organize my thought processes without thinking deeply about stuff, because its the other person would be the one struggling with answers.

Studying at school, in language lessons we always had a section where we were learning to ask various possible questions to a given statement. It can be a decent, universal practice to gather the information, so you have something to work with.

I would react with confusion. We don't always say what we want to say, I guess.
When someone asks "How are you? (Your kids, wife, job, some trivial shit.)", What does that mean? Is that a greeting? Is the other person interested in how I am? How I am currently, or over the last few days, a week? Am I asked about what I did or plan to do, how do I feel? Where are the borders of "how"?..

But then you hear: "I'd like to ask you for a favor..." Now were talking!
(I automatically assume that every single animal is driven by selfishness, emotions, habits, instincts... Whatever that is, my benefit is out of primary concern.)
Why not just ask about what you want? I assume that would appear too egoistical. I would decode the whole structure as following:
"I want to ask you for a favor, but instead of offering something nearly as valuable for your time and effort, let me first butter you up with pretense interest in your doings."

Same here, same almost everywhere. How to react on something uncertain other than with confusion?
 
joshe

joshe

Wanderer
Jun 1, 2019
112
Same here, same almost everywhere. How to react on something uncertain other than with confusion?

I suppose when near-certainty has been expressed on their side, it baffles one into submission, especially if one is prone to questioned their every conviction.

On other words, if something is accepted as the norm, I find it incredibily hard to reliably argue against it, maybe that's my own lack of will, but something in the back of my head always falls for the majority bias
 
262653

262653

Cluesome
Apr 5, 2018
1,760
I suppose when near-certainty has been expressed on their side, it baffles one into submission, especially if one is prone to questioned their every conviction.

On other words, if something is accepted as the norm, I find it incredibily hard to reliably argue against it, maybe that's my own lack of will, but something in the back of my head always falls for the majority bias

Majority bias = majority is right? I often don't find any words when I'm faced with a specific question for the first time. I understand that I'm not agree with the statement but don't know how to approach it. Its like searching for angles on a spherical object. "???" Maybe its normal to question yourself when you didn't think about it before. "Where could I possibly make a mistake?" It is usually long after a dispute I find the starting point to push from.
 
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Midnight

Midnight

Beyond solace
Jun 30, 2018
625
I also struggle with answering to platitudes and other bs. I wish i was witty enough to give quick well worded reply's to leave them unable to answer to any of it.

I alway's admired the quickness by wich some people can reply to any given statement. Leaving the other person without words.
 
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Alpha_Draco_Pegasus

Alpha_Draco_Pegasus

-
Jun 16, 2019
48
I could react with fear, resentment, acceptance, apathy, or I could think about it philosophically.

Upon reading or hearing this statement, I imagine the person saying it to be some Gen X or Baby Booming fireman, police officer, football coach, doctor, lawyer, or recovering alcoholic who goes to AA meetings daily and has 20 years of sobriety. Somebody who's successful, has never considered suicide, has always been moral and affectionate and lusting for life and ends up as a heartwarming father with a wife and kids.

That's totally not necessarily true of somebody who says that, but sometimes I just get a kick out of painting a picture like that, heh. And I don't intend a negative connotation if that's how it came across. That person is just not me.

I'm also not disagreeing with the statement and I'd hate to be sarcastic. I submit to it just as I submit to science and the laws of nature. I don't understand why they have to be true, and maybe they don't. I think science is depressing and boring, but it just can't be refuted. Somebody just holds up some concrete "evidence" to your face from using their scientific method that something has been proven and if you deny it and are ignorant, then you just look like an idiot. I just say "whatever" and don't care to put up an argument, because what do I have, after all, but a baseless front, although I do think there is validity to my skepticism, SOMEHOW, there has to be...

So equate that with the whole "life is supposed to be hard" thing. It shouldn't be "supposed" to be anything. That's a damning slavery embedded into the threads of the universe, whatever the supposed inherent quality is.

Whatever the supposition, yes, it seems very evident that life is a struggle for everyone, except for the golden kid who gets excellent grades in school with little thought or effort, has excellent physical attributes, a great sex life, gets into Yale, never does drugs, etc, you get the picture. Or a kid whose parents are millionaires or royalty or whatever. Sure their lives have their nuisances, but I think, little more than that. A lot of people are like this in upper-middle class America.

I could expand on this a lot more but I'm in a bit of a rush so I'll just sum it up like this. NO. Life is hard for most people except the lucky products of golden societies and circumstance. Yeah they have to try hard in sports and school, but comparatively this struggle is nothing to a person of the working class, or to a much more severe degree the third world resource-deprived people, the mentally ill or products of a trashy environment or trashy parents. It's kind of just luck of the draw, apparently. In general positive energy and output returns the favor onto the hardworker or welldoer, kind of like the moral actions of "what comes around goes around" but not necessarily; that is not law.

I'll add onto this or even introduce a new perspective if I come back and something else comes to me, but there's my two cents for now.
 
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Darkhaven

Darkhaven

No, I don't have a gun
May 19, 2019
980
I think that's bullshit.
Life is supposed to be hard... for some.
The rich boys in my college don't have it hard. They were born in some of the richest families of my country, they have good genes, good health, they are smart, and more importantly they have good connections. That's why they always do very well in university and after that they all have good jobs: politicians, judges, prosecutors, lawyers in some of the best lawyer offices where you get paid sometimes 2500€ a month even, in some cases, while you are just a "grunt". Persons like me, on the other hand, never had it easy: modest family, bad genetics both in mental health and physical health, unstable life thanks to my parents bad decisions, being unknown and not knowing almost anyone that can help me and having to do all by myself.
So no, life is only supposed to be hard for some.
Then there are those that are born either to conquer and rise to glory and fame thanks to their talents and genius, or those that i mention that were just lucky to be born and inherit money, having a known family name and good genes.
 
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Faraway1990

Faraway1990

Student
Jun 2, 2019
195
Fu** em if you are lucky enough to be born in a good family and have good guidance yeah this can be true but what if no matter how hard you try you keep falling down on your face while it looks like everyone else goes through life easily? I know I've busted my ass of more than most people around me and I'm pretty intelligent but it keeps happening. I'm fighting one last time but I'm ready to CTB when I feel things getting shit again as I'm sick of this loop.
 
Deleted member 2141

Deleted member 2141

The angel of choice is enduring.
Aug 30, 2018
5,309
My reaction is that, while there are times where you do get what you put in, a lot of times, that simply isn't true. There are people who work harder than others and get less than someone who has done less effort. There are people who are lucky and are born into good families while there are others who are born into shitty families. Life isn't fair and the whole statement itself is bullshit with many counter examples to it.
 
ShadowChild

ShadowChild

Any time now.
Jan 13, 2020
65
Take a jar, super glue the lid on. Wait for the glue to dry. Tell them to open the jar. “But it’s super glued” yeah..that’s called an exterior force..”life’s supposed to be hard blah blah blah” but but that’s not fair” yeah well like you said “nobody said life was fair you get out what you put in, now open the f-ing jar”
“No..it’s a stupid example“ No...No it isn’t., your entire premise has just been obliterated by a jar..how does it feel..how does it feel to be powerless?...*mind blows* *reality crumbles* *sinking feeling*..;)
 
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DoNotLet2

DoNotLet2

-
Oct 14, 2019
684
Well life is supposed to be hard but who said I'm supposed to live my life?
This is a very simple problem in my opinion. They can't understand how one doesn't want to live and we don't understand how one wants to live. We have different views and we should respect that. You want to live? Fine. You want to commit suicide? Fine. Not my life not my problem.
 
BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

Visionary
Dec 1, 2019
2,361
I don't react, I close the conversation and never reopen that topic with that person ever again, from then on, when they ask how I am, I reply with 'fine thanks'.
 
DoNotLet2

DoNotLet2

-
Oct 14, 2019
684
Well life is supposed to be hard but who said I'm supposed to live my life?
This is a very simple problem in my opinion. They can't understand how one doesn't want to live and we don't understand how one wants to live. We have different views and we should respect that. You want to live? Fine. You want to commit suicide? Fine. Not my life not my problem.
 
MeltedJello

MeltedJello

My brain is a liquid mess.
Aug 18, 2021
1,400
On the outside, I would probably react the same way I’ve always used, which is by saying “Yeah...” and would stay silent afterwards, so that they would just shut up. I don’t have the balls to say what I truly feel in real life, as it may cause a scene or something. Hate it when people say those things. It just shows how much they don’t actually understand or care imo.
 
layne2001

layne2001

Member
Jan 27, 2021
26
that's really just a massive cope. Life could be much, much better than it is, for things beyond our individual control.
And most people know that, but thinking about how powerless you are leads to nowhere. So those who just keep going filled with pain are annoyed at the people who can't do the same. Then they say and believe in stuff like that so that they don't give up too. The suffering has no meaning but it's an integral part of life and for some people living is an obligation, so suffering is inevitable, but oh well.
I'm not gonna lie, I admire this strength. I wish I could be like this too.
 
CFLoser

CFLoser

whatever doesn't kill you makes you weaker
Dec 5, 2018
526
Its just how it is. Life is tough and we live in that reality. Hoping for something else is just a dream like watching television.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

I want to sleep for an eternity
Sep 24, 2020
6,284
If life is supposed to be hard then I want nothing to do with this life. If it is guaranteed that I will struggle then it just makes me want to leave even more. What is the point of suffering for decades on end. If I ctb then I can be at peace and I can be free from it all. Life is completely unnecessary.

The second quote is just a platitude. People can work hard and put in a lot of effort and yet still not benefit from it. Everything is determined by random factors out of our control, in a life like this hard work means nothing. The truth is that life is simply unfair and there is nothing you can do about it. People who believe the second quote is true are clearly delusional.
 
stellabelle

stellabelle

ethereal
Dec 14, 2018
3,663
If you have ever reached out to anyone about your pain and suffering, likely you have heard this from at least one person.

How do you react?


For me, I can understand that 'reward takes effort' and such other things but I think the main difference is the scale of the pain-gain ratio. Once it tips into a situation where everyday things become an immense struggle and you are beaten down one time too many, how can anyone say you need to push harder when they don't know what you are going through.
What a crock of crap.
You can put in all the effort and still be treated poorly, ignored, abused, fucked with, cycle repeats, asked why you didn’t prevent it, and then blamed for it, cycle repeats, well, I guess we’re all just perfect aren’t we?
 
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eternalmelancholy

eternalmelancholy

waiting for the bus
Mar 24, 2021
965
This is what people say when they do not have an original thought, they just regurgitate some empty platitude. No one cares about your problems at the end of the day. It is up to you to fix your own life. No one is coming to save you. If you decide that your life is not worth living, that is also a valid conclusion. People will never be honest when it comes to this kind of stuff, at least not publicly. This is why I don't talk to anyone about it.
 
cambrai33

cambrai33

Student
Nov 3, 2021
105
I really couldn’t give a shit enough for it to bother me, I am emotionless and disassociated from that person they are talking to.

Look I know they are trying to help with a toolbox of words that is severely limited and I can’t get pissed with them for as I just don’t care anymore, any reaction they can get from me means I might at least feel something so for that part it might be useful but it never impacts me in any way, it’s like have the news on repeat in the background, I could repeat back a few soundbites but that’s it.
 
UseItOrLoseIt

UseItOrLoseIt

1O'8
Dec 4, 2020
2,043
Life is supposed to be hard, but for some, it's harder.
You get out what you get. Theoretically, good should breed good and effort should yield results, but there's no just cosmic scale to determine your earnings. You get what you get. No law behind it. You try and win or you try and lose. You don't try and win all the same or you don't try and are forced to listen to tedious proclamations from people who have no idea what it means to have lost so many times or so completely it's really a dumb fucking idea to keep trying.
 
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N

netrezven

Arcanist
Dec 13, 2018
478
Hard doesn't mean smart, and never did. That's the mistake most people with ambitions usually do. Anyway life can in fact be hard, but expecting a sure outcome based on what you give and put in, is very very wrong, cause life is also unfair. And when it comes to logic and outcomes, sadly only the results matter, not the expectations and intentions.
Sow when hear "You get out what you put in" - thats been said from someone who just bullshits you, or someone who lacks some brain.
When you hear "life is hard" - well that can mean alot of different things...
I usually say like "go hard, put this and you get at least a shot at something" - well i say this to myself mostly.
 
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