FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!
- Oct 3, 2019
I feel like, after a while, loneliness doesn't hurt as much anymore. It can even be comforting in a way, addicting. After you go a while without having many close friends, you get used to being alone. The friends you do have are harder to keep in touch with because being a friend takes effort. It can be taxing to have a conversation with someone, even a close friend. I think I push all my friends away by never being open to conversation or responsive to them. It's much easier to stay in bed all day, playing video games and watching movies. I barely message people and I don't use social media. High school was lonely, but I got used to it after a while. I surprised myself when I had the thought "maybe I don't need friends, I'm not that good of a friend anyway." I always used to wish for friends and have people to interact with, but now I feel like loneliness is better for me. I'll have fewer people to disappoint when I finally ctb.