mblum

mblum

Death is all I have left
May 8, 2022
108
so my main reason for wanting to CTB has gathered a lot of opinions in terms of being invalidated. While you’re entitled to your views, every single person that’s tried to compare my situation to what they “felt in the past” about someone they deeply loved has been just laughable and idiotic to read. I’ve noticed a lot of people making comparisons and invalidating this are much much older, and seem to think we still live in the 1960s… news flash, we don’t.

Love will always be a valid reason for CTB in my view and this whole “you’ll find someone else” trope truly makes me question if the ones invalidating me are even truly happy. Settling versus truly enjoying a person and having compatibility are vastly different. My standards are high because I’ve always applied the same pressure so please, don’t feed this lie that “we can always find someone else”. You may be able to, but that doesn’t mean you’re compatible. It seems a lot of you “found another” and simply settled for that out of being lonely and that’s not the same situation as mine. Has it ever occurred to those of you invalidating us in terms of this that maybe some of us are decent enough people to not just get hitched with a random person because we are lonely?

Aside from high standards, I love this person truly. Just because a majority of you hop from one dick or vagina to the next and settle for scraps doesn’t mean the rest of us do and even if we found someone exactly like what we lost, there is still no guarantee we would be able to feel what we had for the one we fell in love with.

A lot of you share your stories and I laugh because they are so opposite of what me and others are going through yet some of you think it’s the exact same and it isn’t. Come back to those of us going through this when you truly found love again and didn’t just settle because you grew up in a time where marriage was a must.

I hate to tell you, but that’s not love. Did deluding yourselves for these last 30 years help you feel better?

A lot of us may be young, but we aren’t the same generation as you. A lot of you invalidating us have zero idea how the world is now and that’s why it’s so funny when you try to compare. CTB because of love isn’t something someone does lightly; there’s a reason someone would be compelled to do that over someone. And having slight suicidal thoughts over someone you THOUGHT you loved is not the same thing as being internally destroyed for years and trying to take physical action because of what you lost…. CTB for any reason is valid, regardless of how you see it, and if you’re here to judge someone’s reasons for wanting self termination, why are you here? Why are you in a forum that preaches open mindedness when it comes to CTB? The fact a lot of you think there is an endless supply of love just displays to me how narrow minded and deluded you are by your own generational propaganda that was spoon fed to you.
Compatability matters. That’s where I’m leaving this.
 
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IneedUMama

IneedUMama

Abandonment & loss can really kill someone 💔
Apr 2, 2022
42
And having slight suicidal thoughts over someone you THOUGHT you loved is not the same thing as being internally destroyed for years and trying to take physical action because of what you lost….
I agree with everything that you say. And this line that I quote in particular is exactly the main issue here.

Just wanted to let you know that by many of us, you are heard, felt and understood. Only those who have experienced this, can get each other. It's the only tiny relief I/we can give you, since no one will be able to take your pain away. I'm so sorry.

Sending you much love💞💓
 
mblum

mblum

Death is all I have left
May 8, 2022
108
I agree with everything that you say. And this line that I quote in particular is exactly the main issue here.

Just wanted to let you know that by many of us, you are heard, felt and understood. Only those who have experienced this, can get each other. It's the only tiny relief I/we can give you, since no one will be able to take your pain away. I'm so sorry.

Sending you much love💞💓
Yes those of you who get I love and appreciate you guys. We aren’t delusional in the way we think to what we are feeling. I’m happy some people Don’t understand this because they’d hate to be us if they were. You’re a good human and I’m happy to have you here
 
B

bubugurl

Member
Jun 18, 2022
10
so my main reason for wanting to CTB has gathered a lot of opinions in terms of being invalidated. While you’re entitled to your views, every single person that’s tried to compare my situation to what they “felt in the past” about someone they deeply loved has been just laughable and idiotic to read. I’ve noticed a lot of people making comparisons and invalidating this are much much older, and seem to think we still live in the 1960s… news flash, we don’t.

Love will always be a valid reason for CTB in my view and this whole “you’ll find someone else” trope truly makes me question if the ones invalidating me are even truly happy. Settling versus truly enjoying a person and having compatibility are vastly different. My standards are high because I’ve always applied the same pressure so please, don’t feed this lie that “we can always find someone else”. You may be able to, but that doesn’t mean you’re compatible. It seems a lot of you “found another” and simply settled for that out of being lonely and that’s not the same situation as mine. Has it ever occurred to those of you invalidating us in terms of this that maybe some of us are decent enough people to not just get hitched with a random person because we are lonely?

Aside from high standards, I love this person truly. Just because a majority of you hop from one dick or vagina to the next and settle for scraps doesn’t mean the rest of us do and even if we found someone exactly like what we lost, there is still no guarantee we would be able to feel what we had for the one we fell in love with.

A lot of you share your stories and I laugh because they are so opposite of what me and others are going through yet some of you think it’s the exact same and it isn’t. Come back to those of us going through this when you truly found love again and didn’t just settle because you grew up in a time where marriage was a must.

I hate to tell you, but that’s not love. Did deluding yourselves for these last 30 years help you feel better?

A lot of us may be young, but we aren’t the same generation as you. A lot of you invalidating us have zero idea how the world is now and that’s why it’s so funny when you try to compare. CTB because of love isn’t something someone does lightly; there’s a reason someone would be compelled to do that over someone. And having slight suicidal thoughts over someone you THOUGHT you loved is not the same thing as being internally destroyed for years and trying to take physical action because of what you lost…. CTB for any reason is valid, regardless of how you see it, and if you’re here to judge someone’s reasons for wanting self termination, why are you here? Why are you in a forum that preaches open mindedness when it comes to CTB? The fact a lot of you think there is an endless supply of love just displays to me how narrow minded and deluded you are by your own generational propaganda that was spoon fed to you.
Compatability matters. That’s where I’m leaving this.
Here we go again. Generational propoganda. Deluding yourselves for 30 years. Hop from one vagina/dick to the next. Generalizations. Negativity. Attitude much?

But I hear what you're saying and I hope that you somehow find peace. You deserve some peace. We all do.
 
PigeonDreamzz

PigeonDreamzz

Member
Feb 3, 2022
49
so my main reason for wanting to CTB has gathered a lot of opinions in terms of being invalidated. While you’re entitled to your views, every single person that’s tried to compare my situation to what they “felt in the past” about someone they deeply loved has been just laughable and idiotic to read. I’ve noticed a lot of people making comparisons and invalidating this are much much older, and seem to think we still live in the 1960s… news flash, we don’t.

Love will always be a valid reason for CTB in my view and this whole “you’ll find someone else” trope truly makes me question if the ones invalidating me are even truly happy. Settling versus truly enjoying a person and having compatibility are vastly different. My standards are high because I’ve always applied the same pressure so please, don’t feed this lie that “we can always find someone else”. You may be able to, but that doesn’t mean you’re compatible. It seems a lot of you “found another” and simply settled for that out of being lonely and that’s not the same situation as mine. Has it ever occurred to those of you invalidating us in terms of this that maybe some of us are decent enough people to not just get hitched with a random person because we are lonely?

Aside from high standards, I love this person truly. Just because a majority of you hop from one dick or vagina to the next and settle for scraps doesn’t mean the rest of us do and even if we found someone exactly like what we lost, there is still no guarantee we would be able to feel what we had for the one we fell in love with.

A lot of you share your stories and I laugh because they are so opposite of what me and others are going through yet some of you think it’s the exact same and it isn’t. Come back to those of us going through this when you truly found love again and didn’t just settle because you grew up in a time where marriage was a must.

I hate to tell you, but that’s not love. Did deluding yourselves for these last 30 years help you feel better?

A lot of us may be young, but we aren’t the same generation as you. A lot of you invalidating us have zero idea how the world is now and that’s why it’s so funny when you try to compare. CTB because of love isn’t something someone does lightly; there’s a reason someone would be compelled to do that over someone. And having slight suicidal thoughts over someone you THOUGHT you loved is not the same thing as being internally destroyed for years and trying to take physical action because of what you lost…. CTB for any reason is valid, regardless of how you see it, and if you’re here to judge someone’s reasons for wanting self termination, why are you here? Why are you in a forum that preaches open mindedness when it comes to CTB? The fact a lot of you think there is an endless supply of love just displays to me how narrow minded and deluded you are by your own generational propaganda that was spoon fed to you.
Compatability matters. That’s where I’m leaving this.
I feel this so much. Every bit on it. Though I additionally analyzed why I am like this, why I just can't go on. Because the not being able to let go and being dependent..this is just a symptom of a much more complex, deeper problem with it. But yeah, him leaving me triggered it. And the being able to trigger my current state is just a symptom..BUT I just know how life will be from now on. I've seen enough. I have to every person I let in my life a special connection, which is irreplacable. I love unconditionally and very deeply. And no one can EVER replace my soulpigeon. And I just CAN'T live without him on my site. I hate to be like this, but I can't change it. I tried. We are soulmates. And I just don't want to live without him. I feel every point of you. You articulated my thoughts so well there. I agree 100%.
 
Foresight

Foresight

Global Mod
Jun 14, 2019
1,223
I would never tell someone you definitely will find someone else. I don't have "high standards" in a traditional sense but I rarely connect deeply with others. If I don't connect I don't engage even in conversation. I think it's rare to find a deep love, that's why we value it so much.

With that said, I had an engagement deteriorate and years later ended up with someone I consider a perfect match. I was devastated by this engagement ending. I grieved heavily and lost my sanity for a bit. I don't think whenever a relationship deteriorates and you find someone else it means you settled. The first partner was actually a complete mismatch for the person I am today and the person the ex is today. My marriage is one if the most beautiful experiences of my life. I didn't bounce nonchalantly from one dick to another or settle for scraps. If you don't ctb you might end up in another relationship and possibly a better one. It's just a possibility though, like you said it's not a guarentee, because there's a possibility you never experience that kind of love again too.
 
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unredeemable

unredeemable

To be, or not to be - that is the question.
Jun 7, 2022
55
I agree with you completely. It's also a valid reason to CTB because you're the one who keeps doing the hurting with ever more reckless abandon.

I'm ending a loveless marriage built on dependency, obligation and lies, mostly mine. I deserve better, or at least to be alone. So does she.

I hope you find your way to some peace.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She dreams of eternal sleep
Sep 24, 2020
12,336
I feel like people should not invalidate what others are going through as everyone experiences life differently and we all have different limits as to what we can cope with after all. People have no idea what others are really going through as they are not living their lives. To me there is no such thing as ctb needing a valid reason. Dying does not even need a reason. After all, it is our life and our decision and only we know when it is the right time to leave.
 
DerTod

DerTod

No alarms and no surprises
Apr 17, 2022
135
Sadly young ones think exactly the same and even more than older folks i would say. Lots of people are in mutually beneficial relationships like it's a business. Some stay for sex,not to be lonely,be validated by society as "successful in life" cause they have someone,to fill a void etc. Genuine love is a very valid reason to want to end it all. Personally i believe it's actually the most valid of all reasons. You can find nice relationships, market-like relationships easily as they say it :" you'll find someone else" but deep love is very hard to find especially this days. If you have decided that there's nothing else here worth enough for you to stay,may you find a way to end your life quickly and peacefully.
You won't cure superficial people.
 
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mblum

mblum

Death is all I have left
May 8, 2022
108
I feel this so much. Every bit on it. Though I additionally analyzed why I am like this, why I just can't go on. Because the not being able to let go and being dependent..this is just a symptom of a much more complex, deeper problem with it. But yeah, him leaving me triggered it. And the being able to trigger my current state is just a symptom..BUT I just know how life will be from now on. I've seen enough. I have to every person I let in my life a special connection, which is irreplacable. I love unconditionally and very deeply. And no one can EVER replace my soulpigeon. And I just CAN'T live without him on my site. I hate to be like this, but I can't change it. I tried. We are soulmates. And I just don't want to live without him. I feel every point of you. You articulated my thoughts so well there. I agree 100%.
Yep. People call it attachment but I’ve been attached. That’s not what this is at all. I mean, look at the people who lose their spouse in death and a lot of them don’t remarry. I’m happy you can relate and my person is my soul mate too. Never had I ever felt something like this but when I did? I instantly knew. We can live, but it’s not enjoyable and honestly I’d be the same way if me and him married and he died… I know this for a fact. It’s so hard.
Sadly young ones think exactly the same and even more than older folks i would say. Lots of people are in mutually beneficial relationships like it's a business. Some stay for sex,not to be lonely,be validated by society as "successful in life" cause they have someone,to fill a void etc. Genuine love is a very valid reason to want to end it all. Personally i believe it's actually the most valid of all reasons. You can find nice relationships, market-like relationships easily as they say it :" you'll find someone else" but deep love is very hard to find especially this days. If you have decided that there's nothing else here worth enough for you to stay,may you find a way to end your life quickly and peacefully.
You won't cure superficial people.
It’s even worse when the relationship had all the material aspects along with it. Me and my guy were perfect. We spoiled one another material wise, wrote poems and love letters, had passionate intimacy (not lust) and a deep emotional bond. A lot of us didn’t lose just a person; we lost a rare gem who matched our fly and filled our heart. People don’t get it and honestly, I hope they never experience this because it sucks
 
September5th

September5th

I miss you and I miss being happy as well
May 17, 2022
222
People only think that it's not a reason because they're not living this hell right here. No jokes, I'm unable to be in peace for more than 30 minutes. I'm always coming back to the same feelings of loss, anger, sadness, guilt, jealousy and overall nostalgia. My mind is now the burning hell. I just want this to stop, but nothing will do it.
Not only am I alone, but I don't want anybody else. I already said that I don't even want her back. The only thing I can do is go to miserable parties. I rather die, honestly. It's that or time travel.
 
hellispink

hellispink

i am sick of myself
May 26, 2022
107
I think we should be able to see ourselves internally, before looking towards the outside. However, it is one’s life and there is free will to do what we consider right.
 
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UpandDownPrincess

UpandDownPrincess

Warlock
Dec 31, 2019
776
Wow. You sure put me in my place... NOT.

It's incredibly judgemental of you to assume that I know nothing of your pain because I am older. Sure. When my fiance decided to tell me, six days before Christmas, that he was gay, it shattered my world in a way most people cannot fathom. Add in the hurt of realizing that he'd been gaslighting me by intimating that if I would just do things differently, maybe our already perfect love story could be even better.

You know nothing of my pain. And I am not claiming to know the specifics of yours. I spent years alone, in excruciating pain. You and your generation do not have a monopoly on heartsickness. You are far from the first or last to consider death a preferable alternative to the pain of heartbreak. It is a consideration of many, both on this board and off. Shakespeare wrote Romeo and Juliet in the late 1500's. And he stole the plotline from someone else.

What I might have told you is my truth: that even when you feel you cannot possibly carry on for one more minute, you never know what life will bring you. You just don't know how things will turn out. I am only on this planet because of my husband. I will not destroy him the way I was destroyed. He, too, has his own heartbreak story and I will not cause him to feel that pain again.

I am ADORED. I mean it. This man loves me so much I find it uncomfortable sometimes. He will do anything, go anywhere, try to be anything I ask, need, or want. And I could NEVER have seen it coming.

I was without a romantic partner of any kind for 9 years. I had simply come to accept that such a life was not intended for me. And then, when I was not looking, I tossed a profile up on match.com on a dare from a friend. I spent the first few months coming home from every date telling friends that I probably wouldn't see him again.

Almost 20 years later, here I am.

Don't dis my truth. Don't tell me it can't happen. Don't tell me you know everything and I know nothing because your generation knows so much more. What you perhaps do not realize is that the more you insist you know so much better than previous generations, the more you sound just like every one that has gone before.
 
W

WhatPowerIs

Member
Jun 19, 2022
33
Is it not normal for somebody in a tremendous amount of pain like OP to start lashing out? I can understand why some people would take offense but there are posts in this thread that come off just as reactionary.
 
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W

WhatPowerIs

Member
Jun 19, 2022
33
Lol exactly and you should see the DMS some of these “caring” boomers have sent me about my posts… perhaps we should start with the one where a certain user suggested putting a bullet through my head. Keep in mind these are the people claiming to care and know “so much” about my situation
Did you report that user?
 
R

rationaltake

Enlightened
Sep 28, 2021
1,724
Is it not normal for somebody in a tremendous amount of pain like OP to start lashing out? I can understand why some people would take offense but there are posts in this thread that come off just as reactionary.
I expect a lot of people on here are in tremendous pain. We don't need to start lashing out at each other.