- May 4, 2018
Yeah... Mother literally had me because babies was very cute and she wanted one. She didn't think in future consequences, she got tired of me. The more I grow, the worse she treated me for years.Yeah.. me too. My mom once told me a story where she’s was holding me as an infant and said “this child will save me.” That’s how things began. Even now she’s doesn’t seem to see how fucked up that is.
Yeah... Mother literally had me because babies was very cute and she wanted one. She didn't think in future consequences, she got tired of me. The more I grow, the worse she treated me for years.
It was destructive for both. "I" ruined her and she brought me to this limit I am now.
It was a great mistake, specially when I wonder if I really was wished or not.Yeah, I hear you. I was a mistake. She made me codependent on her. And her on me. I was supposed to fill the void of an alcoholic father and a cold mother. Just substance abuse on all sides. Zero guidance.. in fact, I was supposed to guide her. I was supposed to have the answers.
It was a great mistake, specially when I wonder if I really was wished or not.
Having the wrong parents can mark you forever. Or in my case, destroy my life.
I was supposed to be her answer too, but I couldn't. I felt lost, I cried for help, but nobody came...
I'm terribly sorry of hearing it.People seem to think you can just get over it. Well, I tried. Sometimes you can’t. It’s not like I’m mad at her for not making enough money or something. I’m mad at her for using me and being an addict and warping me and then being enraged when her bullshit made me completely dysfunctional.
There’s a term I read called ‘emotional incest’. This was her parenting style. She did things that make me sick to think of. Nothing physical. But just really inappropriate things to do to a child. I’m an eternal hollow child now. I can’t handle adult society because of it. I’m Peter Pan.
I'm terribly sorry of hearing it.
This stories resonate very strong with me because I know how one feels. In my case, she (and he) attacked me physicaly in several occasions, just because I was tiring for them.
I will never forget it. And the emotional abuse was terrible too, they called me everything, they even said my life is miserable and their too by my fault. They said I ruined their life, when the truth is they were who fucked me up.
I'm very sensitive to this stories because I remembered all I suffered. Nobody must feel that. I only can feel emphaty to this.