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U

User

Member
Jul 9, 2018
12
Please review my method.
I'd like to go as soon as possible. Paranoia is holding me back. I can't get caught.
My parents are only out for a few hours at a time. By the time I work up the courage to go through, they might come back and discover what I'm up to, and then I'd be locked up indefinitely.
Debating between day when they're out, and night. They go out maybe once every few days. But I heard them awake at around 1am once, so not sure about night/early morning. Would be less exposed at night, though.
I plan to take a lot of medication (sertraline, parecetamol, and iboprufen - unsure of amount but have quite a lot in) take a knife, and head down to the local tracks.
Hopefully, the meds will make it easier for me to cut myself and when I bleed out it should be easier to get myself on the tracks.
I plan to listen to music to distract myself somewhat, but then I also want to be aware in case I'm being watched.

I could gather the pills while my parents are out and hide them in my room, and then grab the knife and go when they're next out, or at night.
Or I could just do it all in one day.
Maybe take half the pills at home and half at the tracks.
I'm really stressing out about it. Every time the phone rings I fear it's the police alerting my parents that I've been researching suicide. Same for post. And visitors. And I have to constantly check that I have a private comnection.
I just want out. I want to watch myself bleed out. Train has to be involved, though, because I don't want my body to be intact. And because it's practically fool-proof and efficient.
I don't seem to have enough time to get prepared. When my parents are out, I'm too anxious about when they'll come back to focus properly on preparing.
That's why night is a possibility. Plenty of time to prepare and is predictable, whereas my parents leave the house randomly which makes it hard to prepare.
Authorities know that the tracks is my chosen suicide spot, so that'll be the first place they'd look. I have plenty of time to kill myself without being discovered, but only if I'm in that frame of mind. I want to die all the time, but often I'm just too anxious to go through.
I actually want to kill myself; I want that experience, so it's not like I need to spend more time on my decision.
Please help.
 
U

User

Member
Jul 9, 2018
12
Yeah, but I'm going to have myself run over by a train. Practically fool-proof. Just think pills and cutting would make it easier to get on the tracks. Then worst case scenario, I don't get on the tracks but I bleed to death. I won't call for help because I'd be too scared; I can't speak when I'm scared and I hate phone calls. Wouldn't regret it either. I'm worried about being caught. If I'm caught then I fail, otherwise I die. Just not sure about day or night, whether I should do it all at once or not, etc.
 
Hanger

Hanger

Noosedancer
May 29, 2018
278
Night is better, there are less people. Hope train would work the other things would not work...
 
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U

User

Member
Jul 9, 2018
12
Don't expect the pills to work at all. They're just to numb the pain so I can cut hard. Would expect cutting to work if I cut deep enough and I'm not found, but yeah, that's unreliable. Should make me prepared for the train, though.
Night would definitely be better if it weren't for my parents. I mean, if they catch me, it'll be straight to the psych ward to be locked up indefinitely.
 
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U

User

Member
Jul 9, 2018
12
Thanks. Any tips on how to reduce the risk of being discovered? Sneaking out of the house is my main concern.
 
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Hanger

Hanger

Noosedancer
May 29, 2018
278
that´s ahrd to say as I don´t know exactly how it could be the best
 
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U

User

Member
Jul 9, 2018
12
No problem, thanks for the help, guess I'll just have to chance it.
 
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Definitelyworried

Definitelyworried

Member
Jun 19, 2018
555
I would not take the pills and I would not cut myself, I just would go to the tracks and if i got caught I would just say I was going for a walk.
 
M

millefeui

-
Mar 31, 2018
1,036
Train is far from being fool proof, by the way. Plenty of people survive being run over by trains. If you want to try that method, at least make sure the train will run over your neck so it decapitates you. It is probably not going to be painless if that is a concern for you, though.
 
U

User

Member
Jul 9, 2018
12
Yeah, but it'd be suspicious for me to go for a walk without alerting anyone, and I might not have the courage to jump if I am properly conscious.
They know that their tracks is my chosen place of death and if they have any thought that I might be going there to die, then I'd probably be locked up.
 
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U

User

Member
Jul 9, 2018
12
Painlessness isn't a concern, but getting myself to do it is, and that would be easier if I was in extreme physical pain already, hence the cutting.
 
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U

User

Member
Jul 9, 2018
12
Sorry, not on kik or any social media. Do you have a throwaway email?
 
S

Strumgewehr

-
Jun 7, 2018
271
Never ever underestimate your survival instinct no matter how hard you want to die. There are more "peaceful" and reliable methods to do it. If you can, pick a rather practical method, plan well and follow through.
 
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U

User

Member
Jul 9, 2018
12
Thanks for your contribution, but train's the most reliable method that's accessible to me. It is a reliable method, and peacefulness is irrelevant to me; fatal and accessible is what I'm looking for.
 
M

millefeui

-
Mar 31, 2018
1,036
Thanks for your contribution, but train's the most reliable method that's accessible to me. It is a reliable method, and peacefulness is irrelevant to me; fatal and accessible is what I'm looking for.
Once again you are vastly overestimating the effectiveness of the train method. I wish you good luck.
 
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