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your pathologist

your pathologist

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sep 5, 2018
516
I used to spend a lot of time in front of mirrors. Doing my makeup, or catching a glimpse of my reflection and smiling.
That doesnt happen anymore
Now i tend to catch my eyes and feel this overwhelming sadness.
Yeah i used to value me, i was a bit of a narcissist, used to model and take selfies in it.
Now i look upon me, the me that lived thru the good times, and shes still there, but she's done everything to ruin our life and make this a living hell. I cant stand her. I wish things were good. Like the way they used to be.
Now i mock her in the mirror, laugh and blame her for doing this to us.

Call me crazy...
Can anyone relate?
 
RM5998

RM5998

Sack of Meat
Sep 3, 2018
2,206
I don't have mirrors in my room. I barely look at the mirrors in front of the bathroom sink.

And when I do, I don't recognize the person staring back at me. I don't know what I look like anymore. When I picture myself, my face is fuzzy, like a fading memory.
 
M

millefeui

-
Mar 31, 2018
1,036
I always disliked mirrors, but I always had a severe case of body disassociation. Basically, looking at mirror and not seeing myself. The reflection I see, while faithful to how the body I inhabit looks, does not make sense. It causes discomfort, and it is not just the "damn, I am ugly" kind of discomfort. It is... uncanny, almost scary.
 
your pathologist

your pathologist

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sep 5, 2018
516
I always disliked mirrors, but I always had a severe case of body disassociation. Basically, looking at mirror and not seeing myself. The reflection I see, while faithful to how the body I inhabit looks, does not make sense. It causes discomfort
It is... uncanny, almost scary.

Obviously, i didn't always have it, but this body dissociation and the way you describe it, i feel very similar now.

I don't have mirrors in my room. I barely look at the mirrors in front of the bathroom sink.

And when I do, I don't recognize the person staring back at me. I don't know what I look like anymore. When I picture myself, my face is fuzzy, like a fading memory.

It feels so wierd being a stranger to even yourself
 
Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Super duper enlightened
Sep 9, 2018
1,707
For what it's worth, I think you're very pretty. On the surface it looks to me like you just need to get your mojo back, but of course I don't know of any underlying issues you may be experiencing.

I was never a mirror person myself but I'm having problems with getting older. Not that I'm objectively old, but I hate the feeling that life is passing me by and that I'm not succeeding or at all happy with it.
 
your pathologist

your pathologist

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sep 5, 2018
516
For what it's worth, I think you're very pretty. On the surface it looks to me like you just need to get your mojo back, but of course I don't know of any underlying issues you may be experiencing.

I was never a mirror person myself but I'm having problems with getting older. Not that I'm objectively old, but I hate the feeling that life is passing me by and that I'm not succeeding or at all happy with it.

Thanks. (At the risk of sounding more narcissistic) i know im pretty...
But like you, i feel ive single handedly fucked myself over.
---Out of a relationship i had for 6 years, out of a state i wanted to live in and now im all the way across the country, reliving with my parents, thousands of dollars in debt due to dropping out of school when i got sick (really debilitating ssri withdrawal syndrome im still dealing with) thousands of dollars in debt from when i was committed, unemployed, no transportation, no school, bills rolling in, 1600 mi from what i called home until i decided to leave, which was a cry for help... just....

I can't look at her without seething fckn hate
 
4

406blue

Specialist
Sep 7, 2018
379
It's a good point you make. I used to look in the mirror out of habit and making sure there was no toothpaste i'd left on my lips etc and if i needed a shave, then it became to see that i didn't look too bad. It progressed to somehow remembering that i existed and by now i don't recognise the image it reflects, or at least refuse to. It represents an attachment to something that no longer has any meaning, just a single face out of nearly 8 billion or so that exist. I try to avoid it because it reminds me that i'm still here. I can't say i did much make up so can't relate to that. Men perhaps just have a wash and quick look, for women it's different. But mirrors reinforce a sense of identity, i constantly see people looking at themselves as they pass shop windows, i still do it myself to remind myself that i exist but it doesn't mean what it used to. I see something moving along and a vague sense of me. Mirrors themselves reflect at the same time what is gone but also what is the reality of now. I ought to take it down or cover it up, because there is still an inclination to look and it's not a pretty sight. Mirrors encourage us to look back at what used to be, it's not helpful.

Try to use your mirror to see what you have and not what you have lost.
 
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V

Voldmort

-
Sep 23, 2018
287
whenever I'm bad and look in the bathroom mirror I feel like punching, knocking over the sink, picking up a broken glass and hurting myself, but whenever I have that thought I just look at myself, I make a face of disgust and I leave.

in other times I look and smile sympathetically.