• Welcome to SanctionedSuicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness and suicide. Please read our rules and our Principles.
    If you are in need of immediate support, please call the Samaritans hotline at (877) 870-4673, or check our recovery resources.

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muffin222

muffin222

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mahakali88 said:
You are on ignore, but I view ignored messages sometimes just to be sure I haven't missed something I wanted to respond to. :tongue:

Same is with me, I have struggled with suicidal ideation for many years, and if I do it in the future, I will make sure to instrumentalize it to send a message to some people. I have given myself another year to seriously turn my life around. Meaning, going to therapy once a week, changing my job, hopefully settling down and maybe even having a kid. I think I can succeed if I put my mind to it.

Anyway, we are derailing this thread, and I am not sure whether these posts should be here.

I sincerely do hope you succeed in your recovery and are able to triumph in your goals :happy: One year is a very good time frame to build up positive momentum and healthy coping mechanisms to carry you through the hard times. You do strike me as an intelligent person, so I'm certain that you can triumph and attain even better outcomes than you'd anticipated with enough endurance and determination.

I'm not sure if suicidal ideation ever fully vanishes once we've relied on it to cope for so long, but I do believe that we can build more functional strategies to call upon when the suicidal thoughts hit. Anyway, I agree that this thread has been seriously derailed and that my initial post started it LOL. Best of luck with your goals
 
LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
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mahakali88 said:
I wonder who will apply. I know I would not be able to stand moderating some subsections of this forum. I haven't gone to Suicide Discussion for weeks, I feel averse to it.
I feel the same way about the recovery forum and oftentimes, the chat.
I think it’s much more difficult to find moderators for a suicide forum versus any other, we are probably more easily set off regarding certain subject matter as many here have already been traumatized by something or someone in their lives.
I’m sure there’s at least one or two topics that most on here would avoid, but one has to attempt to remove bias and compartmentalize triggers when moderating.
I imagine it also requires some degree of consistency as well as a relatively active status on the forum.
Most planning to ctb are “flaky” (myself included), for lack of a better word, here one second, gone the next ..and I don’t mean from offing themselves, I mean their trauma simply whisks them away, other things consume them and assessing everyone else’s words becomes far less important.
I think if my issues weren’t so pressing-or of a different nature, I would apply to moderate, but I think I would be most interested in the job that is not currently available. And surely, it would not last.
Burn outs are likely.
I also think any member who indulges in highly inflammatory content should not be considered, furthermore we need to be cautious that no one becomes a mod who might have ulterior motives, like getting their rocks off reading people’s reasons for being here or deleting posts they simply don’t like, while letting other things slide.
I haven’t had any major issues with a mod so far but I’ve suspected that the duty is not always taken with good intentions.
mahakali88 said:
Expressing a preference is not "disdain", but interesting that you went there. Not interested in being guilted by online strangers, so I am putting you on ignore. I am sure if I have written I wanted to ctb, you would have wished me "safe travels".

I am fed up with suicide thoughts and discussions and I am avoiding that section. Funny how that offends you and that you read into my post that I am "above you" because I am in recovery. Unbelievable. I hope you will never have to go through the things I went through last year and I hope you will remove envy and spite from your heart, those traits make people look very ugly. Best of luck.
To be fair, envy and spite occur most often in people who are hurting the most, they are natural things to experience when you lack certain privileges or opportunities that others may flaunt in your face, of no fault of your own.
Metaphorically speaking-or literally, doesn’t really matter-when a person is starving, ofcourse they will be angry that others have food on their plate. It is objectively unfair.
It’s fine if you disagree with the other member and their comments toward you, but that specific statement is a poor insult and it really just rubs salt into wounds that are punishment enough.
Personally, I know what ugliness is, I know the internal and I know the external, but envy and spite from those who are suffering is not ugly, it is just more pain for them that cannot be helped.
 
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muffin222

muffin222

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LastFlowers said:
To be fair, envy and spite

The idea that I would feel genuine envy for this person in any capacity is the most bizarre part of this "insult", honestly... :shy: though I really do wish her well in her recovery.

On a more related note, maybe I will apply to be a mod so I can contribute to the community more, since I've received so much benefit from being a member here the past year
 
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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

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LastFlowers said:
I feel the same way about the recovery forum and oftentimes, the chat.
I think it’s much more difficult to find moderators for a suicide forum versus any other, we are probably more easily set off regarding certain subject matter as many here have already been traumatized by something or someone in their lives.
I’m sure there’s at least one or two topics that most on here would avoid, but one has to attempt to remove bias and compartmentalize triggers when moderating.
I imagine it also requires some degree of consistency as well as a relatively active status on the forum.
Most planning to ctb are “flaky” (myself included), for lack of a better word, here one second, gone the next ..and I don’t mean from offing themselves, I mean their trauma simply whisks them away, other things consume them and assessing everyone else’s words becomes far less important.
I think if my issues weren’t so pressing-or of a different nature, I would apply to moderate, but I think I would be most interested in the job that is not currently available. And surely, it would not last.
Burn outs are likely.
I also think any member who indulges in highly inflammatory content should not be considered, furthermore we need to be cautious that no one becomes a mod who might have ulterior motives, like getting their rocks off reading people’s reasons for being here or deleting posts they simply don’t like, while letting other things slide.
I haven’t had any major issues with a mod so far but I’ve suspected that the duty is not always taken with good intentions.

To be fair, envy and spite occur most often in people who are hurting the most, they are natural things to experience when you lack certain privileges or opportunities that others may flaunt in your face, of no fault of your own.
Metaphorically speaking-or literally, doesn’t really matter-when a person is starving, ofcourse they will be angry that others have food on their plate. It is objectively unfair.
It’s fine if you disagree with the other member and their comments toward you, but that specific statement is a poor insult and it really just rubs salt into wounds that are punishment enough.
Personally, I know what ugliness is, I know the internal and I know the external, but envy and spite from those who are suffering is not ugly, it is just more pain for them that cannot be helped.
I don't have time to reply to all of that, I'll just comment on the last part - you seem to be justifying other's malice by the fact they are hurting. I went through a lot but I am still happy to see people recovering from depression. I definitely understand that a lot of people don't.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Just dont. I dont want to hear it
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mahakali88 said:
you seem to be justifying other's malice by the fact they are hurting.
A bad day can only go so far. And bad day or not that doesn't stop the things you say or do from having an impact on others and contributing to the bullshit that put us here (on ss) to begin with.
 
mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

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Life_and_Death said:
A bad day can only go so far. And bad day or not that doesn't stop the things you say or do from having an impact on others and contributing to the bullshit that put us here (on ss) to begin with.
Absolutely. I mean a person justified doxxing me with an explanation: "But I have PTSD.". I call bullshit. Someone also mentioned the word "privilege" in relation to recovery.

If surviving through war as a child, being separated from parents at a young age, being bullied at school, depressed since the age of 8, living on the edge of poverty (and this is just the first ten years of my life, which got progressively worse with time); and in the past year being driven to complete burnout, watching my father fighting for his life and facing incompetence, laziness and malice on every step (from health insurance, to getting proper medication for my physical health-related problems), losing a few friends to suicide etc.; and being driven to the brink of suicide where I was standing for more than a year AND deciding I want to LIVE FULLY if I am going to live AT ALL. If all that makes me "privileged", then so be it.

Even though Kelli from fixthe26 publiahed my dox and hounded me with threats, you know what I did when I saw someone published her phone number, for harassment purposes, on this forum? I reported it to the mods. Why? Because I am a decent person and I am above petty revenge. I have honor, integrity and strength. I despise feigning victimhood to get pity. I consider pity an insult. If having a healthy self esteem and healthy boundaries and being proud of yourself for storming through the challenges of life while being strong and dignified makes me a narcissist in the eyes of the petty and small, then so be it. I wear narcissism as a badge of honor.

I am trying to avoid negativity, so I am not spending much time here. I have more important things to focus on. The most essential thing is to take the control of your life back.

I want to thank @Hass @Meretlein @Marquis and @RainAndSadness for having the patience to read through my messages and for behaving like good moderators. I know I've had some differences with some of you, but I hold no grudges, no time for anger and resentment. I also want to publicly apologize primarily to @RainAndSadness and @Esoteric for accusing them of things they did not do, without much evidence to support my claims, other than hearsay and pot-induced paranoia. I am sorry.
 
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muffin222

muffin222

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Life_and_Death said:
A bad day can only go so far. And bad day or not that doesn't stop the things you say or do from having an impact on others and contributing to the bullshit that put us here (on ss) to begin with.

I stand by what I said on the first page of this thread, but I'll refrain from saying similar things in the future because I don't want to contribute more negativity on a site where so many people are already suffering immensely.
 
ithappens

ithappens

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How in the heck did an announcement thread turn into a giant nearly 2-page long argument about there being a recovery forum and a suicide forum? FFS
 
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Marquis said:
Today, we are making substantial changes to the way our forums are moderated and staffed. Please note the creation of three new positions within the staff team: Global Moderator, Section Moderator, and Chat Moderator. In short, Global Moderator will be just like the old Moderator position, but with added responsibilities and duties; read carefully below to get a good feel for how these new positions will work.

The descriptions of the positions are as follows:
  • As a Global Moderator, your duties involve reading applications and approving users, resolving tickets when they arise, removing unrelated or inappropriate content and warning users where necessary, answering questions that community members may have, enforcing the forum rules and keeping the platform safe. Global Moderators also can move discussions from one section to another to keep topics organized. They also have the authority to decide what information is approved or removed.
  • As a Section Moderator, one of the primary roles will be community building: being active within the section, creating discussions, and making sure that the section is being run smoothly, are all tasks that section moderators are expected to be engaged in. Section moderators also have the abilities to remove unrelated or inappropriate content from their section and will also have the abilities to warn those that break rules in their section. The primary focus of a Section Moderator is the forum that they are assigned to as they will not be able to moderate outside of their assigned forum.
  • As a Chat Moderator, you will watch over the chat room and have the power to kick and sanction users from the Chat if they break the rules or misbehave. The tools a Chat Moderator has access to are kicks and bans. Chat moderators should make visitors feel welcome, and not uncomfortable in any way. Open, welcoming, and friendly are the three words that should describe a chat moderator.

As for filling these positions, we are currently not looking for Global Moderators at this time. We are in the process of reaching out to a few people for the position of chat moderator, as we are looking for a maximum of 2.

We are looking for at least 1 new Section Moderator for the following sections:
  • Suicide Discussion
  • OffTopic
  • Recovery
  • Politics
As such, we will be opening applications to fill these positions. In your application, please include the following:
  • How long have you been a member?
  • Why do you want to become a Moderator?
  • Do you have any experience in moderating forums or chat?
  • How is your activity on the forum?

Thank you and good luck to you all!
Thank you Marquis.
 
Marquis

Marquis

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Applications will close tomorrow at midnight CST.
 
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