- Jul 15, 2018
About 15 minutes ago, my mom came in my room and said that I am not allowed to die. That I am going to Bridgeway to talk to a therapist and get meds. For what? To make me not depressed? Does she think that this will make me want to live. She said she might also Baker Act me, which means I'll have to stay in a mental hospital for 72hrs. Why doesn't she understand that I don't want to live? She told me I need to think about the positives in life and to think of the happy memories. That I'm selfish, that life is worth living. For me to go to college and try in school, get a career and work. Why? To be a wage slave? To work endlessly just to survive? I literally don't want to live. I am so pissed off that people are like this. What's the point in therapy if there's nothing to help, where I have to avoid saying anything at the risk of being hospitalized? I fucking hate society. Now she's forcing me to sign papers... I am so angry. I'm sorry my thoughts are all over the place. Seems I have to CTB sooner than I thought.