Gevatsu

Gevatsu

Weak
Jul 15, 2018
66
About 15 minutes ago, my mom came in my room and said that I am not allowed to die. That I am going to Bridgeway to talk to a therapist and get meds. For what? To make me not depressed? Does she think that this will make me want to live. She said she might also Baker Act me, which means I'll have to stay in a mental hospital for 72hrs. Why doesn't she understand that I don't want to live? She told me I need to think about the positives in life and to think of the happy memories. That I'm selfish, that life is worth living. For me to go to college and try in school, get a career and work. Why? To be a wage slave? To work endlessly just to survive? I literally don't want to live. I am so pissed off that people are like this. What's the point in therapy if there's nothing to help, where I have to avoid saying anything at the risk of being hospitalized? I fucking hate society. Now she's forcing me to sign papers... I am so angry. I'm sorry my thoughts are all over the place. Seems I have to CTB sooner than I thought.
 
NoLifeNoPain

NoLifeNoPain

Dinosaur
Jun 17, 2018
1,537
Parents usually are selfish and feel entitled. The sad truth of life is that we are never really free and sovereign, there will always be an entity (society,groups,even your own family) that will use you for their personal benefits or agenda, beliefs etc.
 
No Future

No Future

No One
Aug 6, 2018
96
Ah, the good old fashioned 'you're selfish for not wanting to be here, even though I spawned you without your consent' talk.

Motherfucker, I didn't ask to be here!

Who's really selfish? I get it, and I feel for my family too (they're unaware of my thoughts on this), but we're meant to vouch for family through thick and thin. It's selfish to detain someone against their will, just for your own peace of mind.
 
Gevatsu

Gevatsu

Weak
Jul 15, 2018
66
You need to understand that the absolute worst thing that can happen to a parent is to lose a child. My mom had pleaded with me not to kill myself, telling me she would not be able to deal with it as it would tear her apart. I have personally seen what happens. A former friend of mine's aunt's son died at 24 years old when a drunk driver hit him. She turned into an alcoholic and was never the same. I remember reading about a lady named Rhonda Elkin who lost a daughter to suicide. She wrote a book on how bad it hurt her. It hurt her so bad that she killed herself using the same method (helium) that her daughter used a little over a year later. If you want to read about it first hand...

http://www.starnewsonline.com/opinion/20130428/rhonda-elkins---a-message-in-daughters-suicide

Your mom loves you very much. As I am probably your moms age myself (43), I am just trying to get you to see it from her side.
I am not trying to sway your decision either way.
I understand. I wish I was alone and forgotten. I'm in hell
 
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LoverofDeath

LoverofDeath

-
Aug 11, 2018
91
First of all, you are allowed to die since this is your life and you have free will. She's just trying to have authority over you. Secondly, I don't know how therapy would work. I always feel like the therapist is secretly judging me and why would anyone want to talk about their problems? Therapists don't really understand your situation, the only one who does understand is you since you're the one who is going through problems. Your mum wants you to stay alive because she doesn't want to be alone and she wants you to stay with her so in a way, she's being selfish. Why should you stay for other people? There are no positives in life, there's more negatives than positives and wouldn't thinking of happy memories make you more miserable since you're no longer living them? Life is definitely not worth living since this is only temporary enjoyment and we all have an expiration date. I don't even want to talk about school and work since I coul rant forever. I hope you find peace soon. I'm sorry you're going through this!
 
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
The "every mom loves her child" thing is not always the case. I mean there are many dads and moms who murdered their kids.
The only form of love which is truly worthy is when they respect what do you want. Having children automatically breaks that rule. Parent's love is simply a dumb, sometimes toxic love.

Ah, the good old fashioned 'you're selfish for not wanting to be here, even though I spawned you without your consent' talk.

Motherfucker, I didn't ask to be here!

Who's really selfish? I get it, and I feel for my family too (they're unaware of my thoughts on this), but we're meant to vouch for family through thick and thin. It's selfish to detain someone against their will, just for your own peace of mind.
I agree a lot with you.
 
No Future

No Future

No One
Aug 6, 2018
96
I always feel like the therapist is secretly judging me and why would anyone want to talk about their problems? Therapists don't really understand your situation, the only one who does understand is you since you're the one who is going through problems.

Perspective is paramount to constructive therapy. It's very easy to get lost in your own thoughts, especially if you're prone to anxiety, depression, etc. - it makes it difficult, sometimes impossible to digest your emotions constructively on your own.

As silly as it might sound, we're often not reliable enough to bestow (and act on) advice within ourselves in this state. A therapist may not have walked in your shoes, but humans are not particularly complicated; we're very prone to similar cycles of behavior, again and again, across different individuals.

A good therapist is aware of circumstances and actions that lead people to certain trains of thought. They're not there for sympathy, they're not there to judge you, they're there to help you externalize inner turmoil, to have a dialog about it, and help discuss it in a way that'll help you understand your history and circumstances better than before.

I don't mean to jump down your throat, but I see a lot of people apprehensive about therapy on here, and others outright denying it without real insight into how it's supposed to work. There's a stigma with it, one that I'd like to try and dispel when I can, not to be a goody two shoes, but to give people more options.

I'd be more than happy to talk to anyone that has any thoughts/concerns/worries about therapy.
 
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NoLifeNoPain

NoLifeNoPain

Dinosaur
Jun 17, 2018
1,537
Uhhh this sucks. Sorry man.

When will they understand that forcing us to live only have worse consequences?
You know why I found it funny when my mom tried to stop me? Because since then I made 9 ropes out of pants, shirts and towels lol. I mean, c'mon mom you really think you can watch me 24/7? Why can't she understand that she can't stop me. Just let me kill myself even if you're at home with me.
 
X

Xingster

Student
Aug 9, 2018
105
You need to understand that the absolute worst thing that can happen to a parent is to lose a child. My mom had pleaded with me not to kill myself, telling me she would not be able to deal with it as it would tear her apart. I have personally seen what happens. A former friend of mine's aunt's son died at 24 years old when a drunk driver hit him. She turned into an alcoholic and was never the same. I remember reading about a lady named Rhonda Elkin who lost a daughter to suicide. She wrote a book on how bad it hurt her. It hurt her so bad that she killed herself using the same method (helium) that her daughter used a little over a year later. If you want to read about it first hand...

http://www.starnewsonline.com/opinion/20130428/rhonda-elkins---a-message-in-daughters-suicide

Your mom loves you very much. As I am probably your moms age myself (43), I am just trying to get you to see it from her side.
I am not trying to sway your decision either way.


I want to support your post, hurting my family is something very concerning to me as well. You might receive some trash-talking here by asserting your point. But you are absolutely right, the death of a child is one of the worst thing that could happen to most parents, even in situations where the parents are the source or the cause of the misery in the first place.
 
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
You know why I found it funny when my mom tried to stop me? Because since then I made 9 ropes out of pants, shirts and towels lol. I mean, c'mon mom you really think you can watch me 24/7? Why can't she understand that she can't stop me. Just let me kill myself even if you're at home with me.
Obviously they locked us in live and they will never let us go. This lack of freedom is a lot things, but not an expression of love.

They can love us yes, but they must act as they really do it.
 
NoLifeNoPain

NoLifeNoPain

Dinosaur
Jun 17, 2018
1,537
Obviously they locked us in live and they will never let us go. This lack of freedom is a lot things, but not an expression of love.

They can love us yes, but they must act as they really do it.


What do you think about this mom? Her son is basically begging her for mercy killing after becoming a vegetable and she's like: "no son, I would rather have you here even if you suffer and your existence is hell" and then smiles. Would you consider this love? Imagine the anger this dude must feel.
https://www.google.ro/amp/s/metro.c...-of-oxygen-after-suicide-attempt-7028654/amp/
 
C

creatureoflight

Mage
Jul 27, 2018
531
What do you think about this mom? Her son is basically begging her for mercy killing after becoming a vegetable and she's like: "no son, I would rather have you here even if you suffer and your existence is hell" and then smiles. Would you consider this love? Imagine the anger this dude must feel.
https://www.google.ro/amp/s/metro.c...-of-oxygen-after-suicide-attempt-7028654/amp/

That is why we need this website to make sure people don't botch their suicides.
Better off dead then what this kid is going through!
 
C

creatureoflight

Mage
Jul 27, 2018
531
What do you think about this mom? Her son is basically begging her for mercy killing after becoming a vegetable and she's like: "no son, I would rather have you here even if you suffer and your existence is hell" and then smiles. Would you consider this love? Imagine the anger this dude must feel.
https://www.google.ro/amp/s/metro.c...-of-oxygen-after-suicide-attempt-7028654/amp/

Gotta be honest here-the picture of the kid's expression and the article scares the living daylights out of me.
 
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
What do you think about this mom? Her son is basically begging her for mercy killing after becoming a vegetable and she's like: "no son, I would rather have you here even if you suffer and your existence is hell" and then smiles. Would you consider this love? Imagine the anger this dude must feel.
https://www.google.ro/amp/s/metro.c...-of-oxygen-after-suicide-attempt-7028654/amp/
I think every mother who do this is a terrible person and very irrespective. It's the selfish love I was talking about, blinded by her feelings she wants him in the world for "love", because she is so fucking ignorant that she thinks she is acting good and she simply doesn't give a fuck about if her son is suffering or not. Exactly as every parent in the world.

Unworthy and toxic love.
 
C

creatureoflight

Mage
Jul 27, 2018
531
I think every mother who do this is a terrible person and very irrespective. It's the selfish love I was talking about, blinded by her feelings she wants him in the world for "love", because she is so fucking ignorant that she thinks she is acting good and she simply doesn't give a fuck about if her son is suffering or not. Exactly as every parent in the world.

Unworthy and toxic love.

I dunno about every parent in the world, but the mom is the article certainly is
 
S

Ssname

Experienced
Jun 30, 2018
268
I will play devils advocate a little. It's easy to say things while not in the situation but there is someone I love far more than anything or anyone imaginable and would do genuinely anything to spend time with her. If confronted with this situation I honestly don't know what I would do.
 
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Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
I will play devils advocate a little. It's easy to say things while not in the situation but there is someone I love far more than anything or anyone imaginable and would do genuinely anything to spend time with her. If confronted with this situation I honestly don't know what I would do.
If you really, really love her so much, please let her do whatever she wants. Don't force her.
 
Rollo

Rollo

No pasaran
Aug 13, 2018
460
I will play devils advocate a little. It's easy to say things while not in the situation but there is someone I love far more than anything or anyone imaginable and would do genuinely anything to spend time with her. If confronted with this situation I honestly don't know what I would do.

See word 'love' can have two meanings. Tigress loves gazeles and tigress loves her cubs. These are opposite agendas - selfishness vs unselfishness. But tiger being tiger she is blatantly unselfish with her cubs and blatantly selfish with gazeles. Yet with humans and human mothers it's a whole different story. That a human other can be selfish with her kids to me is reality. One example is imposing her values on her kids. It doesn't even matter - mother, father or someone else. They all have the same agenda. Like I remembered reading a successor of Jon Stuart on Daily Show (don't remember his name) telling about what his mother told him "I'm not your friend, I'm your mother, I will break you before you break the rules". Yet to me the only reason a mother should be distinguished from a hole in the ground - is the 'friend' part. Mother is a superfriend, and only as such warrants a special attitude. So these guys mother basically said to him "I'm not your mother, I'm your enemy, I will break you". Which is not to say she never was a mother to him but the enemy part is clearly in charge so he should have handled her like an enemy. Like gazeles handle tigers or like adult tigers handle other adult tigers. He didn't and probably wasn't even able to but that's a different story.

So to me it's the same thing with mother's instinct. Naturally mother's instinct is strictly unselfishness. But because emotions are being destroyed by society - this mother's instinct is broken too and becomes a major source of suffering. And suffer is something she doesn't want so she will look for ways to escape it, being blatantly selfish here.
 
C

creatureoflight

Mage
Jul 27, 2018
531
The cult of life in a nutshell

- Don't kill yourself son!
- Why?
- Because life is beautiful
- Why?
- .... Just shut the fuck up and obey the status quo you little shit! :hmph:

Yeah, life is really great if you are a vegetable in a wheelchair like that poor soul!
 
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C

creatureoflight

Mage
Jul 27, 2018
531
Update: I didn't get hospitalized and I have a therapy session on the 20th. Ugh..I'm so relieved.

How old are you?
Can you move out of there and get your own place?