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Nov 11, 2022
I’m expecting my SN to arrive by Tuesday next week. I’m going to follow the guide posted on the SN mega thread and I’ll probably start fasting on Monday. When my package arrives I’ll take the SN to the forest near my house. I’ll make sure to leave my phone to prevent panic calling for help. There is an abandoned wild life preserve with a broken fence. I’m going in there to make sure no one finds me. I’ll bring less than half a bottle of water with me to mix the SN (maybe two just in case). And when I take it I’ll say something to myself like “if this works you’ll die which is great, but if it doesn’t, that’s fine, you can just go home and do some knitting, it’ll be fine blah blah” (obviously that last part is garbage but it’s just to get me to calm down). I think by telling myself “let’s just see if this works” before I take it, it’ll make things easier for me. My ultimate goal is to ctb but I can’t help feeling strangely worried about Tuesday. “Let’s just see if this works, it’ll be fine” makes me feel less anxious, it’s a way of tricking my SI and getting around it.

I think it’s a pretty solid plan. What do you think? Also I’m 5’7 and 49 kg, does this affect the amount I should take?