Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
I have just been to the monumental masons this morning to organise my husbands headstone.The thing that prevented me from doing this before was the fact I always wanted my own name on there too.I am still not ready to do it as I still want my name on their even stronger than before but I also find it pretty disgusting that I haven't done it and it 2 years next month.
I asked them if they could put my details on ahead of time as I felt massively sucicidal.I bet she has never received such a request before and probably will never be asked again.!
she must have thought I was nuts and said it would be awful for our son to see but I had to ask the question !.
 
Sundayafternoon

Sundayafternoon

Cosmic panic
May 18, 2018
394
I asked them if they could put my details on ahead of time as I felt massively sucicidal.

Please accept my standing ovation for your honesty! I can only imagine that person's face.

That's ONE of the many issues with everyone, no one wants to be honest because then they'd have to hear the truth.

Sorry for your loss.
 
K

Karenbaker

-
Jun 17, 2018
63
I have just been to the monumental masons this morning to organise my husbands headstone.The thing that prevented me from doing this before was the fact I always wanted my own name on there too.I am still not ready to do it as I still want my name on their even stronger than before but I also find it pretty disgusting that I haven't done it and it 2 years next month.
I asked them if they could put my details on ahead of time as I felt massively sucicidal.I bet she has never received such a request before and probably will never be asked again.!
she must have thought I was nuts and said it would be awful for our son to see but I had to ask the question !.
I feel so sorry for your awful situation x but you mention your son again goddamit that’s a reason to live imagine his pain seeing your name and his dads name but especially his mums I bet he’s a mums boy x keep fighting Laura
 
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
He loves me very much.I know this because he will not leave my side.he is only 9 but knows that I am very unwell x
 
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
Can I help you in some way?

I don't want to make you feel pressed but I'm sure your husband wouldn't like you stop fighting, and he wouldn't like his son will be alone if that happens.

I'm talking from the perspective of another son. If my parents commit suicide I will have a lot of problems of all kind in this moment, and I am over the legal age. If a so young child is alone everything will be lost for him.

With this I don't pretend to be toxic but I am extremely worried for that child and I wonder if could I help in something. I'm sure your son will be very grateful of you do this for him.
 
K

Karenbaker

-
Jun 17, 2018
63
He loves me very much.I know this because he will not leave my side.he is only 9 but knows that I am very unwell x
More so fight for him then I’m serious ??? I know this is not really a site to stop people from commiting suicide but your story touches me ... your husband tells you not to do it when your thinking of doing it he knows he knows his son needs a loving arm I know the pain your going through the loss of a close loved one . I won’t bang on and on because ultimately at the end of the day the decision is yours but I can bet you a million dollars almost everyone in this thread is willing you on day after day after day
 
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musicislife

-
Jun 15, 2018
159
I have just been to the monumental masons this morning to organise my husbands headstone.The thing that prevented me from doing this before was the fact I always wanted my own name on there too.I am still not ready to do it as I still want my name on their even stronger than before but I also find it pretty disgusting that I haven't done it and it 2 years next month.
I asked them if they could put my details on ahead of time as I felt massively sucicidal.I bet she has never received such a request before and probably will never be asked again.!
she must have thought I was nuts and said it would be awful for our son to see but I had to ask the question !.
How old are you Laura if you don’t mind me asking and how long were you married ?? I know if a mother and four children who lost their father in tragic circumstances he died of a heart attack in the night and his daughter was the one to find him absolutely heartbroken they all were and the mum well within 5/6 years she was able to find new love again, she never lost the love for her dead husband puts flowers on the grave at all anniversaries, with string desire and willpower it can be overcome
 
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
Can I help you in some way?

I don't want to make you feel pressed but I'm sure your husband wouldn't like you stop fighting, and he wouldn't like his son will be alone if that happens.
Can I help you in some way?

I don't want to make you feel pressed but I'm sure your husband wouldn't like you stop fighting, and he wouldn't like his son will be alone if that happens.

I'm talking from the perspective of another son. If my parents commit suicide I will have a lot of problems of all kind in this moment, and I am over the legal age. If a so young child is alone everything will be lost for him.

With this I don't pretend to be toxic but I am extremely worried for that child and I wonder if could I help in something. I'm sure your son will be very grateful of you do this for him.


I'm talking from the perspective of another son. If my parents commit suicide I will have a lot of problems of all kind in this moment, and I am over the legal age. If a so young child is alone everything will be lost for him.

With this I don't pretend to be toxic but I am extremely worried for that child and I wonder if could I help in something. I'm sure your son will be very grateful of you do this for him.
You are very kind TIburcio and I appreciate the different perspective from a sons point of view.
My son is the only thing that is stopping me at the minute.I have sucicidal thoughts and impulses 24 hrs a day and its difficult not to act on them.i will try to keep fighting each minute by minute even though I don't believe in am strong enough which is sad.Throughout life I have shared hopes and dreams with my husband and given myself timescales to achieve them.In this instance, I feel that after 2 years I should not still be at this stage.I have not progressed at all.grief doesn't keep to a time I know but there is only a certain amount of time you can feel this bad and I know I can't do it for the rest of my life should it continue.you sound like a good man.thankyou for your post x
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
More so fight for him then I’m serious ??? I know this is not really a site to stop people from commiting suicide but your story touches me ... your husband tells you not to do it when your thinking of doing it he knows he knows his son needs a loving arm I know the pain your going through the loss of a close loved one . I won’t bang on and on because ultimately at the end of the day the decision is yours but I can bet you a million dollars almost everyone in this thread is willing you on day after day after day
Thankyou Karenbaker x
 
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
I am 43.we were together 27 years and married for 19 years of them.
 
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lv-gras

fledermausßßßßßßßß
Jul 27, 2018
621
Deepest sympathy, and seconding the thing about help.
 
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lv-gras

fledermausßßßßßßßß
Jul 27, 2018
621
(and also deepest sympathy as someone who is in a similar place)
 
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
are you still working as a vetinary nurse to keep you occupied?
No.when I lost hubby,I lost so much of me and almost lost the confidence to do anything.veterinary nursing no longer was a passion as it had been.it's hard to find work that fits into school hours as a single mum.
I had started as a dinner lady but this has been on and off for a few months due to suicide attempts and poor mental health.
 
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ge0rge

ge0rge

the satanic mechanic
Jul 29, 2018
360
Is this not done in other countries?

In my homeland of ***extremely fucking redacted***, this is pretty much what everyone does, if they're a couple and they'll be buried in the same place. You get regular happy people with their names on tombstones with their date of birth and a dash to indicate they've not died yet.
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
Is this not done in other countries?

In my homeland of ***extremely fucking redacted***, this is pretty much what everyone does, if they're a couple and they'll be buried in the same place. You get regular happy people with their names on tombstones with their date of birth and a dash to indicate they've not died yet.
No. not in the UK.
 
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Karenbaker

-
Jun 17, 2018
63
Is this not done in other countries?

In my homeland of ***extremely fucking redacted***, this is pretty much what everyone does, if they're a couple and they'll be buried in the same place. You get regular happy people with their names on tombstones with their date of birth and a dash to indicate they've not died yet.
That’s slightly morbid say if they buck the trend and never die then what ?!
 
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Karenbaker

-
Jun 17, 2018
63
No.when I lost hubby,I lost so much of me and almost lost the confidence to do anything.veterinary nursing no longer was a passion as it had been.it's hard to find work that fits into school hours as a single mum.
I had started as a dinner lady but this has been on and off for a few months due to suicide attempts and poor mental health.
Chin up girl your doing great x
 
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lv-gras

fledermausßßßßßßßß
Jul 27, 2018
621
also, maybe this is just rambling, and know you are fighting very hard and respect you for it. know you are working a lot. but have you tried just, idk the words, not fighting, for a bit? not necessarily, you know, but just letting yourself becloser to certain things for a bit.